Positive Setback Stories/Stories of Hope

[[So...]]

Hey all ❤️ hope everyone is doing the very best they can and holding on in whatever way they can.

 

I've been a little needy lately, but I've hit a super rough patch in my recovery and could use some love. 

 

I was going through a super bad wave from months 10-12, finally was feeling a little better, but then I took a diflucan pill and BAM a week later I feel like I'm in acute again. For 2.5 weeks now.  Can't be sure it was the pill, but before I took it I was able to have some moments of clarity and distraction, some hope etc, now it's like my mind is a nonstop onslaught of horrible thoughts again.  Also some other symptoms have come, head pressure, severe tinnitus, itching, crawling sensations in my head, neuropathies (this has gotten a little better), pricking in my body (this has gotten a little better), since taking the diflucan and the tinnitus and head pressure are constant.

 

I also always like to add so that people have the full picture, I was microtapering antidepressants bcuz of this stubborn ole akathisia, but I have been holding them for some months now.  So, I can't be sure this is all benzo stuff & don't want to scare anyone.

 

Anyways, most of the symptoms I correlate with benzo withdrawal are still going strong, and I will be a year off in 5 days.  Met with my doctor, him and my family say I am a little better now even tho it doesn't feel like it, and I was certainly feeling confident in my healing before this wave/setback whatever it is.  Now I feel lost, scared, and confused again.

 

Will list my symptoms:

Currently bad: head pressure, tinnitus, akathisia (I'll layer this one out.  For me it is intense spinal pressure, uncomfortable in my body, dysphoria, racing thoughts, agitation, terror, & when it's really bad I have to rock back & forth or shake my limbs, I rarely ever pace but it happens occasionally), anxiety, depression, OCD, itching all over, skin crawling, acne (never had acne in my life before this), rashes, RLS, aching pain, overstimulation, hyperacusis

Past: tingling, neuropathies, parathesia, chest tightness, racing heart, dpdr, focal seizures, dejavu, audio/visual hallucinations before bed, lightheadedness, metallic taste in mouth, grinding in spine

 

I cycle through a lot of these symptoms, and I'm sure there are some in not thinking of.  Right now there are a lot of current ones since I'm doing very poorly, but at parts of this journey I have only had one or two symptoms at a time, and been feeling pretty well so it hasn't all been bad.  The thing that's troubling me is, I haven't really fully gotten rid of anything, and no symptoms have really gotten more mild... it seems like things just rotate & sometimes the stars align and I'm okay and sometimes everything hits at once and I'm crippled. 

 

Guess my question is, is it normal to just have thing rotating in and out like this, with the intensity unchanging, at a year off?  Anyone else had a really intense setback?  I know setbacks are just part of the journey, but when I can't even think straight like this, sometimes it's hard to clearly see the hope that there surely is.  So yeah, guess I'm mainly looking for reassurance, maybe some others who were having a super bad time at a year off that are doing better now, anyone who can relate.  I always knew I had a severe case, so again I don't want to scare anyone, and it hasn't always been bad.. I just have my moments where it's super super bad & I'm scrambling to get some kind of reassurance and validation.  Thanks ❤️

[[So...]]

Oh!  Another thing I wanted to add in here- so my doctor told me that diflucan can raise the potentcy of antidepressants, and that could be one reason for this as the level of them in my system was greater for 2 weeks... didn't know this before I took it but, it makes sense!   I'm sure things will settle, right now I'm trying to think of it as shaking a snow globe & all the pieces have to settle at the bottom again 😂

[[Cr...]]

1 hour ago, [[S...] said:

I'm sure things will settle, right now I'm trying to think of it as shaking a snow globe & all the pieces have to settle at the bottom again 😂

That is a good way to look at it 

I just looked it up and for some reason it doesn't just say it can increase AD concentrations but singles out citalopram (and escitalopram) specifically. It says don't go over 20 mg, so I think you are fine.

There is also some info about symptoms from candida die-off. Which occurs as the infection is being eradicated.

Doctors do not fully understand what causes Candida die-off or other forms of the Herx reaction. Some research suggests that as infections die, they release harmful substances that temporarily make the symptoms worse.

One theory is that substances inside yeast cause inflammation. When Candida lives in the body, the substances in the cells of the yeast remain inside it. Treating Candida, however, causes its cells to die. As the cells die, they may release various substances, such as endotoxins and proteins.

The release of these harmful substances causes the body to release cytokines. Cytokines are immune system cells that help fight infection and cause inflammation. This inflammation can cause symptoms very similar to those of an infection, such as swollen lymph nodes.

Candida die-off may also be a type of delayed hypersensitivity to the Candida infection. Some doctorsTrusted Source argue that it may be a result of the body’s attempts to fight Candida or remove dead Candida cells.

Source: https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/candida-die-off#symptoms

Overall it doesn't seem like a serious problem (healthwise), but when you have a sensitive nervous system from benzo withdrawal anything from infections (and their cure) and stress will probably produce aftershocks of sorts that will gradually subside. Most negative reactions to diflucan and die-off are listed as being for several days or weeks. Since you are dealing with withdrawal weeks will probably apply, but good news is you already have 2 weeks behind you.

Other positives:

-This is not a Gaba-A agonist use setback so you have not set yourself back.

-Yeast infections can affect the nervous system, so you might actually notice a better baseline once you get over this little flare-up.

-There is still a chance that you are just in a wave or this is a combo of a small wave + small diflucan reaction. Either wwayit is transient.

-Many members have dealt with horrible setbacks (myself) and still had good windows come not long after. 

[[Br...]]

5 hours ago, [[S...] said:

So yeah, guess I'm mainly looking for reassurance, maybe some others who were having a super bad time at a year off that are doing better now, anyone who can relate. 

Many of us were well into the second year before we experienced significant improvement.  In other words I don't think it's uncommon to feel discouraged at 1 year out due to intense symptoms lingering.  I was one who started to feel mostly recovered when I was 2 years out. And to be honest, more healing took place after that. But the worst was certainly behind me at 2 years.

I encourage you to dip into Success Stories when you need an infusion of encouragement too.

[[bw...]]

I wasnt well enough until around year 3.

 

Had a setback from pepcid at 5yrs off and went back into worse than acute. Full blown akathesia terror. Been 17 months and still sick. Ill let you know.

[[Lo...]]

@[bw...] are you feeling out of the setback yet , any better ? 

[[Kr...]]

@[So...]

could it  be the candida dying off causing this?

 

edit: I just saw Cronus mentioned this! 

Edited July 12 by [Kr...]

[[So...]]

Awww thank you for all the beautiful comments 🥹❤️. I am going to reply to all later, having a hard time rn, and @[Kr...] I'll message you back later okay 🥰

[[Kr...]]

@[So...]love you hon, just take care. 

[[So...]]

@[Cr...]   Oh okay, I just looked and it seems like it's actually benzos that it can increase the concentration of- perhaps he confused the two.  Maybe I still have small amounts of benzos in my system somehow, lol jk 😜 😂  yes it could be the infection dying off, who really knows tbh and I've had so much go on these past few months from getting sick, to infections, etc.  And just my overall stress is sky high from it all.  I'm PRAYING I do come out of this even better 🙏   my head likes to tell me I won't but that's why I really appreciate the input from those who healed bcuz it is hard to think straight with an onslaught of crazy thoughts all the time. 

[[So...]]

@[Br...] thank you for reassuring me, it calmed me down a lot when I read this.  I had a talk w Nicole Lamberson and she told me that some people get very lucky and heal by 18 months off, but a lot of people need some more time, and she also concurred she felt very bad at a year off.  I guess I just need more time- the thing we all hate to hear in this but at least it's LESS time than it was at the beginning 😉  thank you.  I am looking forward to years 2 and 3, that seems to be a big turning point for many.

[[So...]]

@[bw...] ugh, sounds so bittersweet, you know your body has the capacity for healing and you experienced it, but now you are in a nasty setback and have to live through this again.  It sounds like you were just very sensitive to whatever peptide that was, I know people say once we have akathisia once, we are way more likely to get it again.   It sucks having to walk on eggshells in a world full of so many landmines, but I'm sure you will heal up soon again and be stronger for it, praying for you 🙏 

[[bw...]]

On 12/07/2024 at 11:09, [[b...] said:

On 26/03/2024 at 04:02, [[d...] said:

Hi bwhittters, how is the dried beef kidney? is it helping? because im having the same problem and wants to try if it helps. i hope everything is going well for you

 

2 hours ago, [[S...] said:

@[bw...] ugh, sounds so bittersweet, you know your body has the capacity for healing and you experienced it, but now you are in a nasty setback and have to live through this again.  It sounds like you were just very sensitive to whatever peptide that was, I know people say once we have akathisia once, we are way more likely to get it again.   It sucks having to walk on eggshells in a world full of so many landmines, but I'm sure you will heal up soon again and be stronger for it, praying for you 🙏 

 

The beef kidney does help. worth buying I would say. plus its natural. so you wont have a setback.

and yes I know its terrible. I do believe these drug caused epigenetic changes perminatley in the brain. to have something so so so severe at 5years off is NOT normal. I have ptsd from this now. 
 

[[So...]]

I don't think any of it is permanent, if it was you wouldn't have healed before... so I believe things will settle again.  I would expect to stay sensitive for some years tho, so we just have to be extra vigilant.  Are you feeling any improvements since the setback? @[bw...]

[[bw...]]

17 months into setback now. Had a few good days last week. Back in hell again. Approaching 7years shortly.

I grieve my old life. Still unable to work or hold a job.

[[Wa...]]

I am afraid to death I will have to take Diflucan. I am 5 years off and have had multiple horrific setbacks, like none I have ever even heard on there and barely escaped with my life if you know what I mean because it was that bad. I had a UTI and was near septic and needed hospitalization and by some divine miracle I was given IV antibiotics and not thrown back into acute torture. But then I developed a yeast infection even though I was drinking Kefir and taking probiotics and I still got it. But now it's in my mouth and I was already working on my gut from candida overgrowth before this happened. I can't take it again. Someone please help.  the few things I have tried naturally aren't working so what??? ozone?? Colloidal silver?  I can't survive another drug setback and it most likely won't get rid of a systemic infection.

[[So...]]

Hi @[Wa...] can you try Boric Acid?  I had a second yeast infection/didn't get rid of thr first and that has seemed to take it away.  People also use coconut oil, apple cider vinegar baths, there is an all natural Femiclear treatment, garlic pills, & probiotics.  I sure hope some of these help.

 

The diflucan setback hasn't been horrible, I was already in rough shape before it happened, I think my only symptoms have been head pressure, tinnitus, dpdr, neuropathy, itching, & prickling.  They seem to slowly be getting better tho.  Best not to risk it, I hope you can get relief from something more natural but if not I think you'll be okay!! I'm also only 1 year off benzos.