25 months cold turkey need support

[[ic...]]

CT Alprazolam after 2 years of “as needed”  .5mg use. I had two panic attacks before an ER Dr prescribed them. And boy, they worked! Sweet relief. Too good to be true.

Stopped after learning I was having inter-dose withdrawals which I was mistaking for my own mental health worsening. I did not know about tapering until I had already quit. I had almost every symptom. None I’ve ever experienced before. 
 

I am two years and one month off. The main lingering effects are panic/anxiety for no reason, strange sensations, and high blood pressure from the panic. Today’s reading was 175/101. The blood pressure meds and the readings equally freak me out. I’ve resisted.

I'm terrified to take any meds. I’ve tried supplements but none agree with me.

I have extremely low iron but can only stomach one supplement but the added B vitamins leave me bedridden. I feel like B vitamins spark panic. It takes several days for me to shake it off.

I’m starting to fear healing isn’t coming for me. I’ll never be able to enjoy the beautiful life I was given. I’m so down.

Any guidance or positivity is appreciated.

[[Cr...]]

40 minutes ago, [[i...] said:

The main lingering effects are panic/anxiety for no reason, strange sensations, and high blood pressure from the panic. Today’s reading was 175/101. The blood pressure meds and the readings equally freak me out. I’ve resisted.

Are you able to differentiate this panic/anxiety from the type that got you prescribed alprazolam in the first place? If you can't, part of it may be from natural anxiety. No matter the actual cause there is a positive. If it is only due to withdrawal then all you have to do is get more recovery time under your belt. If it is only due to your natural anxiety then there are lots of excellent coping skills you can learn. If it is a combination of the two, then both time and coping skills will be of most benefit.

It is natural for blood pressure to spike when experiencing anxiety. Have you ever had it taken when you felt calm? Mine was always up during withdrawal because every time I went to the doctor I was always in a highly anxious state. When I got 2 high readings in a row, that caused me stress. That in turn meant that I could walk into the doctor's office a lot calmer next appt, but as soon as the BP cuff came out my anxiety shot up from worrying about the number (and so my reading was high again).

Eventually when withdrawal ended I felt so good that I didn't even care about my BP number and wouldn't you know, that lack of concern led to me being calm during my BP reading and my numbers were back to normal.

If your BP is up from issues not related to withdrawal or anxiety then you may want to try natural ways (diet, exercise) to bring it down or at least be more open to a BP med. No meds should be taken lightly and without thorough consideration, but a BP that is consistently high even when not anxious is not a good thing to have.

[[Ma...]]

A lot of us have problems with B vitamins as they are atypical steroids. Research foods high in iron and maybe do an elimination diet to see if anything is revving up your still fragile CNS-processed foods, those high in histamine, sugar, caffeine etc…

At 2 years you might want to join the Long Haulers group and get support from those with symptoms 2 years plus. @[Cr...] can advise how.

You might also research ways to manage your anxiety from breathing exercises, meditation; follow the.Anxious.truth on Instagram and read Claire Weekes book, Hope and Healing for your Nerves.

You WILL be able to enjoy a beautiful life and it will be much more so when you are in the other side of this!