1 month off +better than expected

[[vi...]]

Excuse my bad English

 

Hi everyone. When I decided to quit (may 31th), I decided not to talk about benzos at all, but I think some guidance is more than welcome, since there's no one to talk about with. In my turn, I will give mine, for what is worth.

 

I was not a daily user but I was on and off ativan since 18. When I was 21 I had a horrible breakdown that now I blame on my ativan use. But then I didnt realise how dependant I became so I thought I just went crazy. I went to a shrink and gave me antidepressants and xanax. One year later, now fully addicted to xanax, I stooped the lowest in my life. I quitted college and made horrible life choices (wanted to kill myself basically) 

 

I tried and failed, and since then (2 years ago, at 22) I was filled with a lot of rage and shame seeing myself at the lowest: no money, no education, no health, and fully addicted)

I returned to college, started working, and 36 days ago I quitted them almost cold turkey. I was taking 1mg of ativan daily, and I ve been taking 1,5mg of clonazepam one year ago)

 

I expected It to be worse. The two first days were hell. I couldnt even sleep. Time seemed an eternity, but I knew that It would pass and it did. 

Now I am in a state where some hours I feel pure bliss and then annoying thoughts come. Its infinitely better than the first days, but I know I am not fully recovered. My question is, when will I "fully" recover? Or even worse, we can only get so good? Thanks in advance

Edited July 5 by [vi...]

[[Cr...]]

Hello @[vi...]! Welcome to BenzoBuddies.

I am sorry you had to go through such a tough situation and at such a young age too. The college years were actually when I had my own battle with benzos as well as a newfound desire for alcohol. The human body is resilient and we can recover (pretty quickly for the lucky ones).

The fact that you are feeling such relief one month later may be a good sign that you will bounce back quick from this ordeal. There are no guarantees in regards to timelines and I am sure you got much more healing to do but you are definitely on the right track.

I am confused about your usage. Did you take clonazepam and Ativan at the same time and quit both 36 days ago? 

[[vi...]]

2 minutes ago, [[C...] said:

Hello @[vi...]! Welcome to BenzoBuddies.

I am sorry you had to go through such a tough situation and at such a young age too. The college years were actually when I had my own battle with benzos as well as a newfound desire for alcohol. The human body is resilient and we can recover (pretty quickly for the lucky ones).

The fact that you are feeling such relief one month later may be a good sign that you will bounce back quick from this ordeal. There are no guarantees in regards to timelines and I am sure you got much more healing to do but you are definitely on the right track.

I am confused about your usage. Did you take clonazepam and Ativan at the same time and quit both 36 days ago? 

First of all, thanks for your gentleness

I didnt explain myself well. First I was a user of ativan (here in Spain we call It Orfidal), then xanax at 21, then clonazepam at 22, and finally ativan again because I could get it for free. 

 

In addition a lot of drugs. I came from a poor family in a poor neighbourhood. Drug dealing, violence... Now in hindsight I knew It was unavoidable to do drugs. No support in my family nor in my acquaintances

 

I think I was lucky when It comes to my recovery, but wanna feel better, Who doesnt?

 

Thanks again 

[[vi...]]

Bump

[[Cr...]]

What symptoms are mostly bothering you as of now? And what symptoms have improved since you first stopped using benzos?

[[vi...]]

27 minutes ago, [[C...] said:

What symptoms are mostly bothering you as of now? And what symptoms have improved since you first stopped using benzos?

Actually its nothing of importante, a mild sense of discomfort. But since i felt very good some days i just wanted to know what to expect. Shouldnt make you lose your time since there are people really struggling. Thanks mate

Edited July 5 by [vi...]

[[Cr...]]

You are very lucky to feel this well so early into your recovery. Please learn from this experience and try not to become dependent on benzos again as people often find each subsequent withdrawal becomes more difficult than the last.

I hope things continue to improve for you but if things feel like they are getting worse try not to panic or worry too much as that is often normal during the recovery process.

Many members find it beneficial to abstain from using alcohol while recovering. Just a heads up.