I need help please. I don’t want to die 😞

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Hey guys.. so I have a long history with Benzo’s. I was on them for like 7 years and got completely off of them a little over a year ago. I recently started them again because of severe post partum depression/anxiety. I took my leftover clonazepam off and on for like 2 weeks and then I started Ativan 1 mg once a day. Been on that for like a week. But I tried to stop taking them and omg felt like I was gunna die. Like the agitation, my skin was crawling I couldn’t sit still, my head was pounding, I couldn’t think. I thought I was having an episode of psychosis and was about ready to go check myself in to a looney bin. But I took the Ativan again and now I feel ok just super drunk like it always makes me feel. And it makes my chest feel weird too I think it’s affecting my heart. I also am having SEVERE depression.. like the most severe it’s ever been. Where I want to lay down and not do anything. Just lay and think about how pointless everything is. It’s awful. I think the Ativan is making it worse too. Any recommendations?? Should I continue it or try to stop? Why is it causing bad withdrawals already? This is insane