New to this hell, need some advice

[[Ba...]]

Hello. Good thing I found this place because god damn there's nowhere to turn to for information on this insanity.

Around 2 months ago I had my first panic attack. Thought it was a heart attack, went to ER, the entire deal. After around 3 weeks of living in hell and going to all the doctors and to the ER 3 more times, I finally caved and went to a psychiatrist. He ruled panic disorder and put me on Zoloft, Lorazepam up to 3x0.5mg daily "as needed" and Zopiclone(Imovane) 7.5mg, starting out with half for sleep. Initially I made the mistake of being apprehensive about the Zoloft and used only Lorazepam and Zopiclone for around 3 weeks until I started to take Zoloft. Now I know that was a mistake and my apprehension should have been for the benzos.

Still, it did help me. for 2 weeks I felt way better. Never took more than 2x0.5mg Lorazepam daily for like 2 weeks. At some point, I didn't feel the need to take it as often and went down to just 0.5 once daily. Zopiclone stayed at half for a month until it kinda stopped working. With everything combined, the panic attacks have mostly ceased. And indeed the entire episode has had a few beneficial side effects too in that I started losing weight, started doing exercise, started eating healthier, no more headaches and have started going to therapy to deal with everything.

Now comes my current predicament. I want off these damn things. One week ago I tried going CT on Lorazepam and for 2 days I was absolutely fine. On the third day, during therapy, I had a rather bad anxiety attack which I later identified as social anxiety and felt horrible for the rest of the day. Took 0.5mg Lorazepam and was better. Friday I decided to cut the dose in half and took 0.25mg. That same day I went to the ER with very high blood pressure and a ton of anxiety. They gave me a Xanax and sent me on my way. Once that wore off, the next 12h were hell on earth but after that I picked myself up and felt fine. Since then I've ruled this to be withdrawal. I have a persistent tremor, my stomach is all over the place, heart palpitations constantly that get unbearable at night, infrequent ringing in the ears that passes quickly and a bad case of insomnia, among a few other symptoms that come and go.

I am exactly 5 weeks into using them. I'm on Zoloft 50mg a day, Lorazepam(Anxiar here) 0.5mg a day and Zopiclone 7.5mg a day and I want out. I know Zoloft is for the long haul and that's fine, I can keep using that for months but for the other 2 I want out. I tried sleeping without the Zopiclone and that was a mistake, melatonin didn't help at all. Even after 40h of no sleep and another 7.5mg Zopiclone taken I still couldn't fall asleep so I took the 0.5 Lorazepam and finally slept, kinda.

Seeing as both Lorazepam and Zopiclone basically do the same thing, how should I go about handling this? Tried asking my doctor but he wanted to take me off Lorazepam and put me on Xanax and replace Zopiclone with Cinolazepam, both of which I promptly refused. I want to quit both. I am prepared to face some withdrawal but sleep is important to me, I feel like I can't do anything if I don't sleep at least for a bit and natural sleep seems to be off the table for now.

[[Pa...]]

Hello @[Ba...], welcome to BenzoBuddies,

I'm so sorry this happened to you, the help you reached for has turned on you, we understand completely.  I'm afraid sleep is going to be difficult to achieve for the next little while, this is the cost of getting off of these medications.

Since the Zopiclone doesn't seem to be doing you much good, you might want to think about tapering that first.  We typically suggest reducing your dose by about 5-10% every few weeks but tapering according to your symptoms is actually the better way to go about this.  However, your use has been so brief, I hate to see you take longer to taper than your length of use but if your symptoms are too intense, then a slow taper will be necessary. 

Tapering is an experiment we perform on ourselves, we're all so different, there are no hard and fast rules, this is why it's important to keep good records of your reductions and the severity of your symptoms, this can act as a roadmap for future reductions.

I realize you probably have more questions so lets keep talking.

@[Pa...]

 

[[Ba...]]

4 minutes ago, [[P...] said:

Hello @[Ba...], welcome to BenzoBuddies,

I'm so sorry this happened to you, the help you reached for has turned on you, we understand completely.  I'm afraid sleep is going to be difficult to achieve for the next little while, this is the cost of getting off of these medications.

Since the Zopiclone doesn't seem to be doing you much good, you might want to think about tapering that first.  We typically suggest reducing your dose by about 5-10% every few weeks but tapering according to your symptoms is actually the better way to go about this.  However, your use has been so brief, I hate to see you take longer to taper than your length of use but if your symptoms are too intense, then a slow taper will be necessary. 

Tapering is an experiment we perform on ourselves, we're all so different, there are no hard and fast rules, this is why it's important to keep good records of your reductions and the severity of your symptoms, this can act as a roadmap for future reductions.

I realize you probably have more questions so lets keep talking.

@[Pa...]

I do actually have more questions and I thank you for the help. The Zopiclone has actually been working for the last week or so, since I upped the dose to one pill/night. It was just last night that it didn't work but I did take it off schedule, like 5 hours before I usually take it and maybe my circadian rhythm was out whack. I did fall asleep eventually at my regular time, after taking the 0.5mg Lorazepam. My idea was to ditch the Lorazepam in a 2 week period, one week holding at 0.5 and then dropping to half and only then start tapering off the Zopi, even if it won't do anything at a lower dose, tapering it is probably a good idea too. My symptoms are bad but only on days with 0 sleep, I can and have resolved to endure this crap IF I manage at least SOME sleep. Is this a good idea? I honestly don't know what kind of answer I'm looking for, I know this entire process is unique for everyone but right now I feel a bit lost as how to proceed to both make my short term and long term life better and/or easier. I used to be a big sleeper, I had no issues sleeping even 12h on weekends so me losing 40+ h of sleep every so often is driving me up the wall.

 

My fears are mostly related to both drugs working in about the same ways so I feel like I have to be extra careful with how I approach it and for how long. Also because my psychiatrist basically shrugged when I told him my plan and said there's not much tapering to do from 0.5mg Lora. 

[[Pa...]]

A 50% reduction of the Lorazepam might be too much, of course, we want you to get off of the drug sooner rather than later but you need to know that after you're off, recovery is next and that can take awhile.  Most short term users will recover in terms of weeks and months, long term users are months and years.  The reason I'm telling you this is because it makes sense to use the drug to mitigate symptoms while you're reducing because once its gone, you're at their mercy.  Lorazepam has a fairly short half life so you should know in a couple of days if you need to adjust your taper.  There is no shame in going back to the original dose, stabilizing and beginning again. 

I'm glad to know you've made some changes in your life, this new healthy lifestyle will help you as you taper to handle the anxiety the withdrawal produces.  Once these drugs turn on us, they begin to produce the symptoms we went on them to fix, panic, anxiety and insomnia on steroids. 

 

[[Ba...]]

Ok the deed is done, I've dropped to 0.25mg Lorazepam and 3.75mg Zopiclone. I feel a sense of serenity now, like I've taken control of it all and it's gonna be fine. If I can hold at 0.25mg for exactly 1 week while still functional, I'll just jump and what happens, happens. I'm probably making a bigger deal out of all of this than is warranted, given my low dose and brief use but it seems that my anxiety is manifesting in this way, presenting me with constant fear of feeling bad and having worse physical symptoms.

Still, I feel the need to share this somewhere with people that understand this because in this eastern european climate where mental issues are still stigmatized, much less understood, I'd finding it hard to relate to friends and family.

[[Pa...]]

Yes, taking control is what you’ve done, there could be pain involved but the boost to your confidence is exactly whats needed when dealing with these medications.  

Don’t underestimate the power of these drugs, the anxiety and fear you’re feeling is real, these are actual symptoms, this is what they do, they begin to produce the symptoms we went on them to fix.

I’m glad you’re going to pay attention to how you’re feeling, your body will let you know if you’re on the right track.  You can expect to feel lousy for a time, but hopefully, your brief time on the drugs will be in your favor. 

I hope you’ll keep us informed, so many short time users need hope too. 

[[Ba...]]

Well it's day 4 since I dropped and I'm not really feeling much of anything differently. In fact, I think I feel worse after taking the 0.25mg Lora than before. The usual suspects are still there, dizziness, trembling, palpitations and a noticeable increase in social anxiety that I hope will pass eventually. Lavender oil seems to be working to calm me down, both supplements and aromatherapy before I go to sleep and weirdly enough, I've been getting some good sleep these past few days, don't quite know if I can attribute it to the half dose of Zopiclone or just me getting better. Going by the symptoms, I'm just gonna drop the Lora today and see how it goes. Worst case scenario, I'll just take the 0.25 every other day for a while if things get bad.

Reading the stories around here gives me hope and terrifies me in equal measure and it breaks my heart to read that so many people are suffering so much from these things. 

[[Pa...]]

I'm glad you checked in, it sounds like you've found a couple of things that help but I can see you're still dealing with some really unpleasant symptoms.  Its amazing you've gotten some sleep, I hope it stays that way. 

I'm a little concerned about you using the Lorazepam every other day, should you decide to.  We generally discourage that because keeping blood serum levels constant helps keep symptoms manageable, and taking it every other day would give you definite peaks and valleys.  If you do need something after you decide to jump, I'd opt for a very low but consistent dose until things settle. 

[[Ba...]]

Also I need an opinion on something, if anyone has any experience. Since I'm off the Lorazepam but still taking the 3.75mg Zopiclone for a couple more days, if I'm understanding this equivalence chart correctly, 15mg Zopiclone is equivalent to 1mg Lora. That means the 3.75mg Zopiclone I'm still taking would be equivalent to the 0.25mg Lora I just quit, right? Since I'm breaking a 7.5mg tablet in half. I'm a bit concerned over dropping both in such a short timeframe. Wouldn't say it's quite cold turkey but I feel like the turkey hasn't really had its time to shine in the oven either.

[[Pa...]]

I think its wise to wait a bit before dropping the Zopiclone, its tough to know exact equivalencies but erring on the side of caution is always a good thing.