Help

[[qw...]]

I have been dealing with my injury about 6 years now. Although I  used to have akathisia and many other symptoms that left me unable to leave my house for years I am at this time able to leave my house and work maybe 3 days a week. My new job I spaced out M W F to give my body a break between each workday. Since starting this job i have felt horrible. I typically am outside in the heat most of the day and play quite a bit of basketball. Do you think that the over exertion and the heat are making me feel bad? It seems to bring these horrible mental symptoms and hateful angry with a hint of akathisia symptoms in my body right under my skin. Feel like I want to just start bashing everything around me and rip my skin off while mentally just not wanting to do this anymore, ocd thoughts, just not thinking in my right mind, no control over my thoughts. I’m also just so lonely it’s unbearable to the point it’s a sensation in my body. I just wish God would talk to me and tell me what to do or where to go. I have to work to pay bills but it seems that overworking causes my symptoms to worsen but on the other hand staying home and doing nothing causes me complete social isolation. I have no friends or family because of this. I really can’t take this anymore, I’m ready to live my life but I’m scared this is permanent and normal with never come back. Need to somehow find a path forward that I can pay my bills without overdoing my body mentally and physically. 

[[Cr...]]

Hello @[qw...], glad you found BenzoBuddies!

Would you be willing to share some more info about your past use with benzos? Which benzo? What dose? Did you cold turkey or taper?

I am assuming you have been benzo free for 6 years?

As for your strong negative reaction to being outside in the heat, I get that as well. And I know other people that have never been through WD have strong reactions to hot weather.

That is good that you are able to work again, but sometimes we push our bodies too hard too quickly. Your symptoms could also be a reflection of that.

[[qw...]]

I’m 31. My injury happened at 26. I’m not a victim of a doctor much like many of you,I did this too myself. I was a very heavy drinker from 18-26. For example I blew a .495 once at detox facility and I remember the lady telling me I could damage my brain drinking like that. Before the injury happened I was on a big dose of Kratom and phenibut (affects GABA like Benzo if you don’t know) taking 3 30mg adderalls per day and on a cycle of Anavar. Weekends I’d take molly, coke, drink. I started noticing after a weekend of drinking I would get this horrible horrible anxiety mentally and physically that at first lasted a day then a couple days then a week. Remind you I had no clue what was going on. After, that week, the intensity of the anxiety throughout my body was so bad I knew I had to do something. So I went to a treatment center and detoxed phenibut cold turkey (which now I know was a no no).I left the treatment center after a week and started back on the kratom. Still wasn’t feeling right so I started taking the phenibut again. I went out with my buddies on another bender and this time something bad happened. The pain and burning through my entire back arms body face was unbearable, pacing relentlessly. Twitching now on my legs arms, face. Everywhere. And it wouldn’t go away. Cold turkeys the phenibut again. Long story short I ended up in the hospital and they put me in a psych place where they put me on 16mg suboxone and I believe a mg of Klonopin. For awhile everything was good, my doctor kept upping my dose of Klonopin though as it would start not working, was going back to finish school. Went out for a Halloween party and just drank two glasses of wine and boom everything went bad again the next day. Called my doc and all she suggested was upping my Klonopin and suboxone which at that time I was on 5 mg of Klonopin and 16 mg suboxone as she wanted to bump it to 6’mg and 24mg. Something in me told me that was a bad idea and that I needed to get off the meds. I moved back home and began my taper. I got off the Klonopin in November of 2021. I’m still on the suboxone unfortunately the damage to my nervous system has been to severe every time I tried to jump. I switched to sublocade and my doctor is tapering me. My next shot is 25mg. So I have been benzo GABA free since November 2021. I still have a lot of symptoms, and twitching, but the akathisia has went down to where I can go out and shop and enjoy a movie stuff like that. Idk man, sometimes I can’t believe this is even real life and possible. I think I just need to keep the faith and keep fighting. I’m sure as many of you know it is hard sometimes without a support system.