Scary thought

[[gu...]]

Today I went to the store and when I came home, I was already feeling horribly depressed, but when I saw my husband, I had a thought that he would be better off without me. It really frightened me. Do other people have these kinds of thoughts? Thank you. 

[[Ja...]]

Hi pal hope you ok,I’m really sorry to hear you’ve felt this way,it’s truly dire to feel this way,this carry on really is pushing the limits of mental health for sure.

unfortunately I also have had these thoughts very recently,I know exactly how it feels like it’s a burden,not being the family person we should be,.I have daughters to,.I look into there eyes and know I could never inflict the pain of them losing there dad

I also said to my partner she doesn’t need to put up with what I’m going through and I’d understand it if she walked,I’m lucky to have her sticking by me

im usually the family member away visiting my mum/brothers to,.and that’s come to a standstill,.so yea that feeling of hopelessness I know to well

i just hope that I get through this and make up for lost time with a mutch better version of myself

 

[[Cr...]]

What is the context of "better off without me"? As in if he left you or if you two had never met?

It is normal to have intrusive thoughts in states of severe anxiety and depression. Those thoughts are often negative and an inversion of what the sufferer truly wants. If you are experiencing any guilt over not being able to be your loving self around your husband in many months, then it makes sense why thoughts like that would easily manifest and startle you.

These intrusive thoughts will be present off and on. They are simply just  that ..."thoughts". Try not to feed their ego by attaching significance to their meaning. I felt those exact same thoughts while in withdrawal and kept reminding myself that I can only fairly determine the authenticity of my thoughts when I am in a state of recovery, not extreme stress. 

[[gu...]]

Crono, so wise. I know those thoughts are generated by a benzo brain and are not legitimate. My mental pain really crescendoed after that and is finally easing up. This process is just totally unbelievable.

my husband adores me and would be destroyed if I left in anyway.

Edited June 30 by [gu...]