O.C.D as major and most annoying symptom

[[Sc...]]

Hello everybody. so in this post I I want to talk about the symptoms that are being harder for me deal with. I'm also interested in knowing if this is normal of any of you has had symptoms like that.

So I've been taking benzodiazepines for over 6 years in really high doses. I started tapering at the beginning of this year and well I had quite a lot of symptoms: trouble with memory, attention deficit, anxiety, lack of emotional control... But the symptoms that really are making this almost a living hell are the intrusive thoughts and the compulsions I ve been having for almost two months. 

In April there were times I thought I was gonna go crazy. I could not go outside my house without thinking that something has fallen of my pocket o without reading every graffiti or similar I found in my way. Then when arrived home, I never fell comfortable closing the door, don't know why I thought I didn't close it properly, so I open an close it again, and again again. And like that with lots of thing: closing the windows, the fridge, a bottle, turning off the TV, the oven... I spent almost all my free time doing compulsive acts.

Thank God now I am doing quite well. Still have to fight with all I mentioned but day by day I am gaining more control over specifics obsessions, and I am trying to control them one by one. Right now I can go outside and come at home without almost any problem. The night however still the harder part, symptoms gets x100 don't know why.

So I'm interested in in knowing, have any of you have symptoms like that? Or are experimenting theme also. Cuz sometimes I get quite scare. As I said, now I am lot better and felling that I can handle it, but April was a living nightmare...

Thank to anyone who comment.

[[Ja...]]

For me personally,,the ocd part has been torture,.I to went through 2-3 weeks of intense ocd thoughts there and had to take a serious step back from anything that was triggering them

1 was actually coming on this forum and reading everybody’s comments way to mutch daily,.it was getting in my head and making me more ill 

I was waking up with everything I was reading going round and round in my head like a run away train that I couldn’t stop

another was looping thoughts of myself being a failing parent and burden,that I needed a mental hospital,I went into a very dark place for a couple week,I was looking at suicide stories on YouTube and that got right into my head

The ocd looping thoughts of this was shocking,.I would never think of leaving my family like that,.but I’d set it of from feeling so low and looking at YouTube 

the last week I’ve mentally took a step back from anything that was ocd looping,.and also got a lot busier with anything else to break the cycles 

It works,.I snapped out of it,.I do see my mind searching for old looping thoughts now of my past wrong doings though,.

so yea this this ocd side has to be really worked on for me or it can be really consuming and overwhelming,.as of little interest of doing things I hadn’t in a while,I was started to live a very basic way,.I’ve jumped up and got busy

even though I feel not well while tapering,.I’m getting up and about and doing anything I would of normally be doing,.it’s took a week but my mind feels a lot better than where it was trying to go

i hope this kinda helps you out,it’s not easy,but try do anything else other than what you were looping 

 

 

[[Js...]]

1 hour ago, [[S...] said:

Hello everybody. so in this post I I want to talk about the symptoms that are being harder for me deal with. I'm also interested in knowing if this is normal of any of you has had symptoms like that.

So I've been taking benzodiazepines for over 6 years in really high doses. I started tapering at the beginning of this year and well I had quite a lot of symptoms: trouble with memory, attention deficit, anxiety, lack of emotional control... But the symptoms that really are making this almost a living hell are the intrusive thoughts and the compulsions I ve been having for almost two months. 

 

Congrats on your journey so far!

Yes, all of the symptoms you have listed I have experienced while tapering and even when I was sober. Symptoms lessened at day 15 of being sober.

You are not alone.

I agree with Jay75, be fragile with yourself and control what you read and do. Your mind and body may feel strange from time to time, but it is part of the process.

The nights were also difficult for me. I knew what to expect, sounds like you do too.

Stay strong, you have my support.

 

[[Sc...]]

35 minutes ago, [[J...] said:

For me personally,,the ocd part has been torture,.I to went through 2-3 weeks of intense ocd thoughts there and had to take a serious step back from anything that was triggering them

1 was actually coming on this forum and reading everybody’s comments way to mutch daily,.it was getting in my head and making me more ill 

I was waking up with everything I was reading going round and round in my head like a run away train that I couldn’t stop

another was looping thoughts of myself being a failing parent and burden,that I needed a mental hospital,I went into a very dark place for a couple week,I was looking at suicide stories on YouTube and that got right into my head

The ocd looping thoughts of this was shocking,.I would never think of leaving my family like that,.but I’d set it of from feeling so low and looking at YouTube 

the last week I’ve mentally took a step back from anything that was ocd looping,.and also got a lot busier with anything else to break the cycles 

It works,.I snapped out of it,.I do see my mind searching for old looping thoughts now of my past wrong doings though,.

so yea this this ocd side has to be really worked on for me or it can be really consuming and overwhelming,.as of little interest of doing things I hadn’t in a while,I was started to live a very basic way,.I’ve jumped up and got busy

even though I feel not well while tapering,.I’m getting up and about and doing anything I would of normally be doing,.it’s took a week but my mind feels a lot better than where it was trying to go

i hope this kinda helps you out,it’s not easy,but try do anything else other than what you were looping 

 

22 minutes ago, [[J...] said:

Congrats on your journey so far!

Yes, all of the symptoms you have listed I have experienced while tapering and even when I was sober. Symptoms lessened at day 15 of being sober.

You are not alone.

I agree with Jay75, be fragile with yourself and control what you read and do. Your mind and body may feel strange from time to time, but it is part of the process.

The nights were also difficult for me. I knew what to expect, sounds like you do too.

Stay strong, you have my support.

Thanks to both of you for your answers, it's really reliving been able to talk abou it with someone.

Ye the looping though are the worst part. I also had a strong body sensation when the first thought appeared, but I am learning quite well to restrain myself, get calm and usually in 5-10 mins after that the anxiety goes bearable and can do other things so that sensation decrease time to time. But men the mental part, that what really giving me troubles. Causa even I can control my self and restrain the compulsions to the point I don't feel ani anxiety, the thought of "the window hasn't been close properly" or "I didn't close the fridge properly" can prevail in my head for hours. Sometimes I can carry with it and end up disappearing, but others the presence of the thought for hours break me down and force me to go again into the compulsory loop.

Being busier helps, I noticed that. I used to be a very active guy and also read and write a lot. But for the last year I almost have done nothing of it. Now I'm trying to get them back a yea, I noticed the advance, specially when it comes to relax my body. Buy the thoughts... I can be reading a paper or working on my thesis and, while doing that, keep the intrusive thoughts. 

Ye night are what's been harder to control. The mornings and usually really smooth and evening is getting better day but day. But the thoughts and the anxiety at night... That's been hard to control. I can see the progress and hope been able to have more control through it, cause I lose quite time of the night with my compulsions. Guess I have to be patient. The mind is really something difficult to control.

Thank you again for you support! And also my best wishes Jay75, happy to hear you overcome this part!

Edited June 26 by [Sc...]

[[Ya...]]

On 27/06/2024 at 00:08, [[J...] said:

For me personally,,the ocd part has been torture,.I to went through 2-3 weeks of intense ocd thoughts there and had to take a serious step back from anything that was triggering them

1 was actually coming on this forum and reading everybody’s comments way to mutch daily,.it was getting in my head and making me more ill 

I was waking up with everything I was reading going round and round in my head like a run away train that I couldn’t stop

another was looping thoughts of myself being a failing parent and burden,that I needed a mental hospital,I went into a very dark place for a couple week,I was looking at suicide stories on YouTube and that got right into my head

The ocd looping thoughts of this was shocking,.I would never think of leaving my family like that,.but I’d set it of from feeling so low and looking at YouTube 

the last week I’ve mentally took a step back from anything that was ocd looping,.and also got a lot busier with anything else to break the cycles 

It works,.I snapped out of it,.I do see my mind searching for old looping thoughts now of my past wrong doings though,.

so yea this this ocd side has to be really worked on for me or it can be really consuming and overwhelming,.as of little interest of doing things I hadn’t in a while,I was started to live a very basic way,.I’ve jumped up and got busy

even though I feel not well while tapering,.I’m getting up and about and doing anything I would of normally be doing,.it’s took a week but my mind feels a lot better than where it was trying to go

i hope this kinda helps you out,it’s not easy,but try do anything else other than what you were looping 

The best thing about it is that you learned a skill that you will need for the rest of your life , how to diffuse the energy of OCD power, I feel the same, my anxiety creates so many different ocd loops , every week a new topic to ocd about. I used to freak out but still do, but the only way to stop OCD thoughts is to not react to them and just LET THEM BE and do something else. 

My only issue is not the thought , its the anxious reaction that comes with the thought, the swish of anxiety is very bothersome but im learning to accept that too . 

I guess confused between approaches for example: 

Claire weeks approach : As u get that thought and its anxiety reaction let it be, accept and move on 

DNRS approach : Dont just let it be, say STOP and redirect your attention and later come up with any positive memory or emotion so you form new associations 

I am not sure what is the best