Feels like I'm going

[[...]]

Half hour to my pm dose.

I feel floppy and like life is leaving.

The ativan restored me twice last week.

This is scary

[[da...]]

[[...]]

That's the best I can say. Feel floppy, in bed. A sensation that something within is floating away.

Oh god, I need my normal life back. I have to take care of my child

 

[[da...]]

Youre going to be fine. These are normal benzodiazepine withdrawal/interdose wd distorted sensory stimulations . When this encompassed together with severe anxiety it makes matters worse. But, youre not dying, youre unwell and scared. 

[[Ma...]]

Do you feel like you’re going into ‘the abyss’?

I have for 4 months and it’s terrifying. This morning I came out of it.

I think of it like being put into a medically-induced coma so whatever injury can heal. Your system is shutting certain areas down so repair work can take place.

I live in a world of metaphors, and this 1 works for me. Just know, you are definitely not drifting away-I promise.

Sometimes if I feel my mind is  drifting I consciously say, Come back. Come back to now, to this moment.

You’re going to be okay. ❤️‍🩹

[[Sw...]]

@nlav you’re going to be okay! Just take it one day at a time, that’s all you can do. Just worry about today. Please do not guilt yourself it will make it all so much harder. Do what a wife has to do, do what a mom has to do, do the things you need to do. That is how I approach every day. I do the things I have to do knowing I’m still waiting for that light of life to return. 
 

what are your daily tasks?

[[...]]

I haven't started my taper. There is an essential property issue that I have to see to completion. My husband and I are working hard to make it happen. Should be done by end of July. 

If I'm not preparing for this or going out to offices to coordinate this, I'm just on my bed all day using my phone. The constant lightheadedness doesn't let me move much. Some days, when the morning anxiety hits, I get up and cook.

Last night, I felt 90 percent better after I took my ativan. Have been up now since 5am with surges of fear/discomfort 

 

[[...]]

What I felt last evening is very distressing. Happened thrice in a month

Edited June 26 by [...]

[[...]]

@[Ma...], no , not an abyss. This is in the opposite direction,  towards the heavens. I don't mind going. I'm sick of all this and terrified too. I just keep thinking of all the milestones I have to see of my son and his life and that makes me exceedingly sad.

[[Dr...]]

[[...]]

I hate that "life is leaving" feeling.  I still have it so I don't know how long it lasts. 

[[...]]

I thought I had a unique symptom. Sorry you have something similar. Are you tapering @[...]

This is very hard. 

[[...]]

22 hours ago, [[d...] said:

Youre going to be fine. These are normal benzodiazepine withdrawal/interdose wd distorted sensory stimulations . When this encompassed together with severe anxiety it makes matters worse. But, youre not dying, youre unwell and scared. 

It's hard,  very hard. Mourning everything I'm losing. I don't have the guts to taper. Some don't, I'm one of them. But suffering in tolerance 

[[...]]

I am 20 months off. The feeling is mild when it occurs now. Yes, this is very hard.