Looking for help

[[CM...]]

I don’t know what to do. I need opinions. 
6 months ago I was 4 years out. Healing rapidly. Had the best summer of my life. Then I got sent back into the depths of hell. For a month. I couldn’t stop the cortisol rushes. Couldn’t sleep. I took magnesium. That made me even worse for another month. Desparate I took Lexapro Benadryl for 3 days. And one dose of hydroxezine. Then stopped. Then 6 weeks later things only kept getting so much worse. I took one more dose of Hydrox to sleep. Didn’t help. Fast forward a month from then. Kept getting worse. Ended up in the psych ward for two weeks. Took one dose of Seroquel while I was there to sleep. 
Got out of there a week and a half ago. Got Covid the first day home. I swear to you I am cursed. I don’t know what to do. I am so so so bad. I cannot go on like this. Idk whether to start an anti depressant or what 

[[Cr...]]

Sounds like you ended up in a wave through no fault of your own. Everything you tried after the fact like magnesium, benadryl, hydroxyzine, and Lexapro were either ineffective at helping the symptoms of the wave or caused a flareup due to your cns being sensitized right now.

You did not set your recovery back, only more benzos, alcohol, or meds that act on Gaba-A in similar way to benzos can do that.

The fact that you got covid just after leaving the hospital would obviously invoke thoughts of bad luck or curses. I like to think unfortunate coincidences or timing.

How long has this current wave been going on? I wasn't sure if 6 months was it due to the wording.

[[Cr...]]

I just read through some of your recent posting history and you have been struggling since January it seems. So yes, 6 months.

I doubt magnesium has done anything negative other than a very short-term flareup. It is an essential mineral and is in a lot of foods.

While it is always preferable to try to persevere without introducing any other medications, we will not fault you if you think you need some help to manage these symptoms. An AD might help depending on the circumstances, but with a sensitive cns you may need to titrate slowly up to a therapeutic dose. Several members fulled recovered from BW while on ADs. I was one of them, and even got on one when I was already over 1 year into my recovery.

What are currently your most prominent symptoms?