On Valium over 10 Years. GP Cut Dose in Half Without Warning or Discussion. Now What?

[[Bu...]]

Hey @[do...],  I'm glad things went so well!  I've learned from this process to check and double check and then check again, with information given and received from doctors' offices.  Sometimes it really is a bad game of "telephone".   I'm glad that got sorted out.

And I'm glad she's given you a couple of months to stabilize.  Sometimes it takes a bit. 

Please keep us updated with how things are going and let us know if we can help any further.  

 

[[do...]]

@[Bu...] Thank you. Yes. The girl on the phone is new and I think misunderstood. Then, I was afraid to make another appt bc I didn’t want to seem like I was “exhibiting drug seeking behavior.” But finally, the pain of not sleeping drove me to my knees and I had to ask. Anyway, I’m so glad to learn my GP is on board for a slow taper. What a relief. And it’s been so odd, how I’m doing: Even though I’ve been back at 10mg for three nights now, it’s not helping me even as much as it was before the 50% taper nightmare. Is this common?
 

I’m thinking of trying to take advantage of my exhaustion that comes from a long day of caregiving and just sleep for the couple hours it generally will afford. Then, take my 10mg. Because it’s only giving me like 3 hours of sleep now, whereas before it was giving me more like 5 or 6, at least.And I even cut out caffeine when I was on the taper so I hate to bring that back on board, but I find I’m so groggy without it now that I’m back to 10mg.

i am also having a lot of fear around my newfound knowledge of how dependent I’ve become to this relatively low dose of Valium. I mean, I figured I’d be a little bit jumpy or have some insomnia. I didn’t think for a second I’d have all those intense withdrawal symptoms. I’ve never been more concerned for my sanity than when I was on that taper. Omg. Wow.

But hopefully like can get back to normal and I will just keep feeling better so I can get this long ass taper started sooner vs later.

[[Bu...]]

Hi @[do...],

It is such a relief to have a doctor willing to work with you; I'm so happy for you!

5 hours ago, [[d...] said:

And it’s been so odd, how I’m doing: Even though I’ve been back at 10mg for three nights now, it’s not helping me even as much as it was before the 50% taper nightmare. Is this common?

This is fairly common.  Sometimes it can take a while, several weeks even, for your brain and cns to regain some stability.  It also happens that sometimes people never return to the same level of benefit that they had before an interruption like the one you had.  That's not to say you won't feel better than you do now, just that it may not be quite the same.  (The med no longer working as well ended up being a big part of my decision to taper off.)

5 hours ago, [[d...] said:

i am also having a lot of fear around my newfound knowledge of how dependent I’ve become to this relatively low dose of Valium. I mean, I figured I’d be a little bit jumpy or have some insomnia. I didn’t think for a second I’d have all those intense withdrawal symptoms. I’ve never been more concerned for my sanity than when I was on that taper. Omg. Wow.

Yeah, I completely understand that.  I had no idea either how physically dependent I was on klonopin.   I did some really large cuts when I didn't know not to, and had times where I seriously doubted my sanity, too.  But a slow, symptom-lead taper really does help to mitigate those withdrawal symptoms.

I also thought I'd ask, and you certainly don't have to answer, but why does the doctor want to add Abilify?  If it's to address the problems caused by the 50% taper, IMO, that may just complicate things.  If you're interested in other peoples' experiences with that you can always start another thread about it specifically.

[[Ca...]]

I agree that asking for others' experience might help. I know my NP prescribed it for me but I did not want to take it so I filled it and left it at that. Just a clarification -- Abilify is not an antidepressant. it's an antipsychotic. 

[[do...]]

Thank you @[Bu...] and @[Ca...]. It’s nice to know this is common to be feeling like this? I mean, not that misery loves company. Just. I’ve been worried I might never be the same person ever. But now I will try to relax and give myself some time to bounce back. I am a little concerned that the 10mg is now making me feel similar to how I felt on 5 as far as sleep goes anyway. I’m adding natural sleep remedies to see if I can offset it. Lots of magnesium. Mg Gkycinate. Mg Threonate. L theanine. Inositol. Lemon balm tea. Et al.
 

On Abilify, she prescribed it because I told her that venlafaxine had made me feel too wired when I tried it years ago, so when she prescribed desvenlafaxine a couple weeks ago, I had opted not to take that. She said abilify would help me feel calm, motivated and centered. It’s 2mg, which seems the lowest dose, in case that matters. But yeah, I’m aware it’s an antipsychotic. Not my favorite thing to hear. But apparently it is used off label for major depressive disorder. Idk. I’ve been watching YouTube’s to see what people say. I will start a new topic on here and ask the hive mind for guidance, too.  I haven’t seen anything online about it helping with a benzo taper or even anxiety. And I did not tell her I’m depressed. I may be, but mainly it’s insomnia and anxiety I’ve  had. I think her idea was that she wanted to stabilize my mood before getting me slowly off Valium. She’s trying to help me feel better before I start to do the taper bc I think she knows it’s going to be a hard thing to do. Idk. I really believe she is doing her best to help.