Missed dose - stress - wierdness

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On taking my ativan dose yesterday afternoon, I had almost immediate lightheadedness setting in in a strong way. There were sensations of swaying too intermittently.  Along with heart palpitations and a strange feeling in the abdomen..a mild burn/acidic. I can't describe it. It was also the second day of my period and guess it's my hormonal changes at age 50, flow was higher than usual.

I attributed the dizziness and heart palpitations to the period and messaged my gynaec about it. She said if I wasn't feeling weak and faint, it possibly isn't due to the heavy period.

This afternoon I had to step out to a lawyer's office and I didn't want the dizzy sensations to repeat. I decided to skip my dose and had to stay out till very late in the evening. 

 The discussion at the offices was complex (it's nothing that I normally cannot handle, we were there for some clarifications) but my brain seemed to be going into an altered state. I was very aware of it and by the time I returned home an hour ago I was a mess. There was this coherent part of me that kept resisting this new frame of mind i was in. I simply cannot live life and execute my responsibilities if my brain isn't functioning normally.

I do not know if it's the missed dose, the hormones playing around or the stress from the appointment and thinking about the issue I had to go meet the lawyers for.

I need to be mentally functional, it's very difficult otherwise. 

 

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Confusion has sidelined my life activities at nearly every stage of my taper. It does make it especially difficult to attend to details, sort things out and generally make sense of what is going on at any given time. In order to deal with things, I’ve had to make allowances and adaptations in the way I do things. Navigating directions while I drive is usually left to a ride along companion.  In -person appts and decision making needs to be done with the help of a trusted partner.  I dictate must do’s and appts into the notes and calendar on my phone.  I set alerts to remind me where and when.  Once a professional multi-tasker, these days it’s just one step at a time.  It’s not always like this.  Some days have those blessed windows and I’m fully functional.  If any of this resonates, give it a try.  Hopefully it will make some difference in what you’re going through.

 

 

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I find that if I talk to myself when I feel like that and give myself direction,  I can move on automatic pilot. Most nights I have windows and that's when I handle things that require some cognitive function. We tend to become hyperaware of our mental, physical and emotional states when in withdrawal so the last resort for me is quiet deep breathing. You will recover from this and you will develop coping skills as you get used to the nature of the beast.