1 month without Clonazepam!! :)

[[in...]]

So I was on my way out the door for the first time since Thursday. Got my jeansshorts, my shirt and my shoes on. I was trying really, really hard to prepare myself mentally even though I was feeling awful. Bag packed with asthmamed, keys, phone, headset and all that. I was so determined to go outside! I was going to go get a package that the post office sent me.

Boom!! I unlocked the front door feeling so bad!

I locked the door behind me and saw that they've dumped the package right outside my door. I stood there staring at the package thinking: "Ooookay!". Took a deep breath and went back inside! Omg.... 😂

[[in...]]

I just want to give up. I'm fed up with waiting for better days. It's been over a month and I'm losing my patience...

Thoughts? Tips?

[[PE...]]

40 minutes ago, [[i...] said:

I just want to give up. I'm fed up with waiting for better days. It's been over a month and I'm losing my patience...

Thoughts? Tips?

I just sent a pm ☺️

[[De...]]

44 minutes ago, [[i...] said:

 

Thoughts? Tips?

Just try to make till tomorow🫣

[[in...]]

Yo thanks for the support guys! I really needed it tonight! 🙏🙏🙏

[[in...]]

So I've been in bed all night long reading up on "acceptance". I never thought I'd have use for it myself, but it has actually helped me quite a lot lately. I had this massive anxiety attack earlier today so I figured "why not" and started reading.

Basically I have two options: Either I fight and question all symptoms and thoughts coming my way, or I choose to simply accept that my situation "is what it is". 

I don't have the time nor the energy to question every single thought that pops up in my mind.

So I do my best to just float along with it. Just gliding through the day trying to observe feelings and thoughts. 

I guess I have some type of mindfulness thing going on, or maybe I'm just too tired lol. Uhh. Thinking about it I need to go to bed!

I'll talk to you all tomorrow! Peace ✌️ 

[[We...]]

I just wanted to say your story and process is inspiring. I’m someone who is going through a very similar process and just wanted to thank you for sharing. Reading this thread gave me hope and further insight! I wish you well on your journey to recovery ❤️‍🩹 

[[Co...]]

Hello @[We...]. Welcome to BenzoBuddies.

Thank you for posting your comments to @[in...].

[[in...]]

8 hours ago, [[W...] said:

I just wanted to say your story and process is inspiring. I’m someone who is going through a very similar process and just wanted to thank you for sharing. Reading this thread gave me hope and further insight! I wish you well on your journey to recovery ❤️‍🩹 

Tell me about your journey! How are you feeling? Symptoms? Thoughts?

[[in...]]

I experienced a small window today! I had zero anxiety, no catastrophical thoughts no nothing for like 3-4 hours! Then I ate dinner and the anxiety came back! At least now I remember what it was like to feel good back in the day haha!

I just can't understand why the anxiety would come back just because I had dinner! Any thoughts? Thanks all 💯🙏

[[Le...]]

could be as simple as you were distracted for a while. 

could be inflammation returning from food. 

both maybe. 

[[De...]]

Maybe its just random window/wave pattern! 
hope you have another window soon 🍀

[[in...]]

1 hour ago, [[L...] said:

could be as simple as you were distracted for a while. 

could be inflammation returning from food. 

both maybe. 

I don't understand. What do you mean by "inflammation returning from food"?

[[Le...]]

Your body is likely quite sensitive and things that would cause minor amount of inflammation may cause more at the moment or be enough to tip you over the edge by creating that bit more than you can handle. 

Most health problems have an inflammation connection and many things cause inflammation. Stress and the extreme stress of WD creates a lot. Inflammatory foods. Lack of activity. It all adds up. 

This was sort of the target I set my sights on in recovery. I cant say how much is due to time and how much the changes I made but it certainly helps. It is difficult to ever be certain of things when the effects of those changes often take a fair bit of time. 

I can say that I have regressed at times and felt awful. It is very possible that I just need to live in the best way possible to be comfortable from now on. Maybe one day I can do less. I really dont know. 

[[in...]]

1 hour ago, [[L...] said:

Your body is likely quite sensitive and things that would cause minor amount of inflammation may cause more at the moment or be enough to tip you over the edge by creating that bit more than you can handle. 

Most health problems have an inflammation connection and many things cause inflammation. Stress and the extreme stress of WD creates a lot. Inflammatory foods. Lack of activity. It all adds up. 

This was sort of the target I set my sights on in recovery. I cant say how much is due to time and how much the changes I made but it certainly helps. It is difficult to ever be certain of things when the effects of those changes often take a fair bit of time. 

I can say that I have regressed at times and felt awful. It is very possible that I just need to live in the best way possible to be comfortable from now on. Maybe one day I can do less. I really dont know. 

I'm thinking exercise should help me with healing too. Right now I'm swimming 2-3 times/week. Maybe I need to do more than that. Maybe I should start powerwalking 3-4 days/week? 30-45 min/day? What do you think?

[[Le...]]

27 minutes ago, [[i...] said:

I'm thinking exercise should help me with healing too. Right now I'm swimming 2-3 times/week. Maybe I need to do more than that. Maybe I should start powerwalking 3-4 days/week? 30-45 min/day? What do you think?

thats how i started. though I started with holding onto the front of the elliptical and trying to get 3min in. that was a year and a half ago. I was very ill. i did 27 laps the other night. 14 last night. no days below 10 in a long time. 

[[in...]]

41 minutes ago, [[L...] said:

thats how i started. though I started with holding onto the front of the elliptical and trying to get 3min in. that was a year and a half ago. I was very ill. i did 27 laps the other night. 14 last night. no days below 10 in a long time. 

I can swim for 30 minutes but I'm totally exhausted once I'm done. Maybe I should start walking shorter distances? What do you recommend?

[[jo...]]

I would be carful about over doing the excercise early on. I did that and caused symptoms to get worse for a couple of days. Some can push it and some can't. I go easy now with the excercise. It's 100% good thing to do but I'm careful.

[[in...]]

Just now, [[j...] said:

I would be carful about over doing the excercise early on. I did that and caused symptoms to get worse for a couple of days. Some can push it and some can't. I go easy now with the excercise. It's 100% good thing to do but I'm careful.

How far out where you when you tried exercising? How far out are you now? Sorry but my memory is so and so atm lol. I hope you understand.

[[Cr...]]

6 minutes ago, [[j...] said:

I would be carful about over doing the excercise early on. I did that and caused symptoms to get worse for a couple of days. Some can push it and some can't. I go easy now with the excercise. It's 100% good thing to do but I'm careful.

This. Just remember that you cannot exercise withdrawal away. Exercise is very unlikely to speed up your recovery, but it can make you feel better than you otherwise would have during your recovery. If only each drop of sweat leaving your body was your withdrawal symptoms in liquid form, right?

Life is about balance and your body is already off balance by being in benzo wd recovery. Too much exercise may agitate your nervous system depending on the intensity and length. Take it easy and slowly work yourself up over the months.

[[Le...]]

2 minutes ago, [[C...] said:

This. Just remember that you cannot exercise withdrawal away. Exercise is very unlikely to speed up your recovery, but it can make you feel better than you otherwise would have during your recovery. If only each drop of sweat leaving your body was your withdrawal symptoms in liquid form, right?

Life is about balance and your body is already off balance by being in benzo wd recovery. Too much exercise may agitate your nervous system depending on the intensity and length. Take it easy and slowly work yourself up over the months.

adding a strain your body cant handle i guess would be bad but letting your body decline too far isnt great either. 

[[in...]]

Just now, [[L...] said:

adding a strain your body cant handle i guess would be bad but letting your body decline too far isnt great either. 

It's about listening to the body and finding that perfect balance I guess. Can't rush things though.

[[jo...]]

9 minutes ago, [[i...] said:

How far out where you when you tried exercising? How far out are you now? Sorry but my memory is so and so atm lol. I hope you understand.

I was around 2 months out I think. Went jogging and F'd myself up Im around 5 1/2 out now.

 

9 minutes ago, [[i...] said:

 

 

Edited July 9 by [jo...]

[[Cr...]]

1 minute ago, [[L...] said:

adding a strain your body cant handle i guess would be bad but letting your body decline too far isnt great either. 

True. I forgot to post the negatives of doing no exercise. A sedentary lifestyle can be detrimental to the mind and body. Obviously if I had to choose between no exercise and too much exercise I would choose the latter in a heartbeat, but luckily @[in...] does not have to make a choice like that as there is lots of middle ground.

Its not black and white, but more like the Kinsey scale.

[[jo...]]

3 minutes ago, [[L...] said:

adding a strain your body cant handle i guess would be bad but letting your body decline too far isnt great either. 

Yeah staring at the same four walls doesn't help mental health either. Unfortunatley some days thats all some can do. It doesn't have to be hard excercise or even excercise at all. Just distraction and getting the brain thinking about other things is good. Who knows it might even help with healing. Healthy body healthy mind etc.