Taper obsessed

[[Ja...]]

Is any 1 else having trouble getting the taper of there mind

i know about distractions and it does help,.but even when I’m distracting walking etc,.it’s almost like an ocd loop

i stayed of here for a few days and YouTube ,.but it’s no helped really,.it’s like the whole taper consumes your mind

[[Cr...]]

What aspects of the taper are you consumed by?

The math or future cuts? That can be mititgated by planning out the rest of your taper down to 0 ahead of time. The only variables will be whether some of your cuts will have longer holds than others.

Otherwise it is natural for an anxious mind to pick one subject to fixate on. If you fixate on the fixation it will become harder to distract yourself. 

Your rumination is normal and I am sure as time goes by it will lock onto other matters.

[[Ja...]]

Crono no it’s the whole taper,.timeframe,reductions,holds,past holds,.and just the fact it’s consuming most of my time

and just general worrying about family etc,.duno why but this last couple weeks I’ve been consumed by it,.yea remuneration sounds about right bud

 

[[Id...]]

@[Ja...], I hope this doesn’t sound like downplaying your situation, but obsessive/intrusive thoughts and rumination are symptoms common enough in the situation. When bad symptoms arises (even the worse one intrusive ones) I feel better giving them their names and recognize that they are symptoms… they will pass.

Do you think it might be that??

[[Ja...]]

Idontknow yea it is most probably the rumination,..I mean there’s been times recently when I’ve shut it for a while 

but yea the last 2 weeks has been constant,.with songs on repeat in the head to,.the withdrawal does seem to throw a lot of ocd thought symptoms 

[[Cr...]]

1 minute ago, [[J...] said:

Crono no it’s the whole taper,.timeframe,reductions,holds,past holds,.and just the fact it’s consuming most of my time

and just general worrying about family etc,.duno why but this last couple weeks I’ve been consumed by it,.yea remuneration sounds about right bud

That's what I thought you meant.  The withdrawal process can easily consume your life because it is something that is with your body no matter where you go and will send you reminders of its existence (wd symptoms) lest you forget it.

Whether you hold or do another cut is something that you cam decide the day the cut is scheduled. No use in worrying about future cuts as it is hard to know how you will feel one day to the next let alone how you will feel weeks and months from now.

You have put a lot of mental/emotional energy into getting this taper set up and started, so it is going to be on your mind to some degree even when you stop ruminating about it.

[[Cr...]]

Just now, [[J...] said:

to,.the withdrawal does seem to throw a lot of ocd thought symptoms 

Definitely! There were some members that stated certain songs were stuck in their heads from morning til night for quite awhile. This whole recovery process is a strange beast. And while the brain is a fascinating organ, the symptoms it puts on us when it is trying to reach homeostasis can seem very enigmatic.

[[Ja...]]

 Crono my misses played a YouTube short yesterday with a dance tune to it,literally went to bed with it still playing in my head lol,torture 

[[En...]]

10 minutes ago, [[C...] said:

Definitely! There were some members that stated certain songs were stuck in their heads from morning til night for quite awhile. This whole recovery process is a strange beast. And while the brain is a fascinating organ, the symptoms it puts on us when it is trying to reach homeostasis can seem very enigmatic.

Yes I get earworms from music I listen to on my walks. I would rather have that then anxiety anyday.

[[En...]]

22 minutes ago, [[J...] said:

Crono no it’s the whole taper,.timeframe,reductions,holds,past holds,.and just the fact it’s consuming most of my time

and just general worrying about family etc,.duno why but this last couple weeks I’ve been consumed by it,.yea remuneration sounds about right bud

I obsess over this as well. I think it is a huge part of our lives at this moment and important to get through. I also think of it while on walks the most. It is hard to distract what is in your face constantly l think. 

[[Cr...]]

7 minutes ago, [[J...] said:

 Crono my misses played a YouTube short yesterday with a dance tune to it,literally went to bed with it still playing in my head lol,torture 

I was gonna tell you to get a song that you actually like stuck in your head. But then i thought about it and realized that could lead you to start despising your favorite songs.

Don't be too hard on the Misses. I am sure her heart was in the right place 

[[Ja...]]

Eng101 that’s it bud,.I think as well that once a pon a time we had a certain pil to shut any thoughts or moods away

i think your mind as these doses start getting lower is like hyper mode

i hard just over 4 hours sleep last night,and Ive barley felt tired all day,I seem to get a burn out from the thoughts at night to s as d crash out, the brain must just have had enough untill it’s rested a bit

[[Cr...]]

8 minutes ago, [[E...] said:

I obsess over this as well. I think it is a huge part of our lives at this moment and important to get through. I also think of it while on walks the most. It is hard to distract what is in your face constantly l think. 

This is why you find a lot of Buddies will just disappear after they recover. They quickly want to move on and forget about this whole experience. Plus when your mind finally allows you to obsess over fun/healthy stuff you will start to lose interest in withdrawal/recovery related issues.

Withdrawal consumed me as well. So when I recovered in mid 2012 I was basically absent from this forum until May of 2024 (although I did stop by for a week in 2022).

My point is that you will eventually get passed this obsession and move on like many before you have. Just be patient and understand that sometimes in withdrawal you will have no control over what thoughts your brain is currently having a love affair with and that is normal. You try to force a break-up and the brain will just get upset, slam a door and play loud music to annoy you further.

Edited June 4 by [Cr...]

[[Ja...]]

Crono not a bad idea really,,bit of Bob Marley “don’t worry” or somet 

[[Cr...]]

Just now, [[J...] said:

Crono not a bad idea really,,bit of Bob Marley “don’t worry” or somet 

Excellent! Just be careful that youtube doesn't auto-play "No Woman, No Cry" next or your Misses may take that as an offensive sign.

[[Cr...]]

2 minutes ago, [[J...] said:

Crono not a bad idea really,,bit of Bob Marley “don’t worry” or somet 

And you are already doing things right by now having a little fun with your obsessive thoughts rather than trying to fight them or worry about them.

They will be with you for this journey, coming and going as they please, changing from one subject/song to another. So your best bet is to just add a little humor to your approach to help lower the anxiety-inducing effects these thoughts can produce.

[Guest [Do...]]

2 hours ago, [[J...] said:

Is any 1 else having trouble getting the taper of there mind

i know about distractions and it does help,.but even when I’m distracting walking etc,.it’s almost like an ocd loop

i stayed of here for a few days and YouTube ,.but it’s no helped really,.it’s like the whole taper consumes your mind

I had been very obessed at the start of tapering. I decided to stop reading or watching terror stories and watch less videos related to benzos and read less stuff but still it remains the center of my life and i organize my life around my 2 daily doses. And most of all, the only reward or joy i have in my life currently is to watch how much i have tapered this week/month so i understand you so well.

[Guest [Do...]]

1 hour ago, [[J...] said:

with songs on repeat in the head to

I get this some days, mostly stupid sticky commercial song that can go on loop for hours or even days but for the the obsession is more like i can distract watching a movie in a good night but when i wake up the elephant is still in the room. IMO if i had finished my taper, even if i still had some symptoms i could forget about it easier but is not possible while i still have to consume the drug twice a day and being hit by it everyday.

[[Ja...]]

Yea sounds about right bud,..I feel that to after a dose drop,.it’s feels a big achievement after putting up with the withdrawal

earler to get the whole lot of my mind,.I thought I’m done with the taper,.I’m going back to relapse,get stoned and forget it all ever happened 

Of course I’m not but it gave me some relief from the usual withdrawal mindset,.probably a dangerous way of thinking really but it worked

[[Ja...]]

Dolivian,..I started getting the ocd thought symptoms months back before the taper,.it was 1 of the main reasons I was giving it up

i knew somet wasn’t right,..even the tinnitus,.depressions,started way before the taper bud.

I think most probably a lot of folk don’t even realise it’s the benzo,.I didn’t at the time

[Guest [Do...]]

16 minutes ago, [[J...] said:

Dolivian,..I started getting the ocd thought symptoms months back before the taper,.it was 1 of the main reasons I was giving it up

i knew somet wasn’t right,..even the tinnitus,.depressions,started way before the taper bud.

I think most probably a lot of folk don’t even realise it’s the benzo,.I didn’t at the time

Not my case but so many buds here started tapering cause benzos wouldnt work anymore and in fact they were becoming paradoxical or were fed up of having to updose every few monthos to keep them working.

[[Ko...]]

@[Ja...]I have this same problem. I am obsessed with my taper and can't seem to get it off my mind. I ruminate about if I am tapering fast enough or will I be able to continue the same rate the entire  way down, will I feel better as I get lower or struggle....whether to stick with cut and hold or microtaper.....whether to transition to liquid valium or stick with pills-its awful

I think I am anxious about it as I have to work and have a lot of pressure on me.