Wave

[[jo...]]

Two weeks of feeling better, not healed, but better, now I'm back in a wave. I woke up this morning and looked at my phone to see I had slept 3 hours less than I had been. I had that feeling and I knew. I was feeling it yesterday tbh I think I knew it was coming. It's so deflating to be right back in it, Anxiety and depression all day. It seems like they have changed places though I used to get more anxiety than depression in previous waves and now its the other way round. Bad combination either way round you put it. Any on else experience this? I'm sure it's not unusual and dont even know why I'm posting this. Symptoms are famously all over the place with this particular withdrawl syndrome. Just wanted to vent a little I suppose.

[[gr...]]

Oh - you describe what I am experiencing. Feels better to come here and see I am not alone. 

[[jo...]]

Yeah I just woke up after 1 hour sleep with bad axiety. I was feeling ok and sleeping better now I'm right back in it. It's so unpredictable. And honestly a bit scary.

[[gr...]]

Very scary! Trying to stay calm and steady. 

[[En...]]

On 29/05/2024 at 00:07, [[j...] said:

Yeah I just woke up after 1 hour sleep with bad axiety. I was feeling ok and sleeping better now I'm right back in it. It's so unpredictable. And honestly a bit scary.

I woke up this morning with more anxiety. I didnt sleep that great last night. I wasn't feeling that great yesterday either. When I stood up I felt very faint. I think it is what I ate. I was feeling better earlier in the day and had some macaroni and hot dogs. Maybe that is what set it all off. This withdrawal is awful. It screws up your life. 

[[or...]]

I had an amazing Window a couple days ago, but couldn't sleep lastnight until somewhere after 12:30 a.m. I fell asleep, but woke right up at 4:30.  4 hours was a blessing, as I am lost for the day at zero hours sleep.  I feel amazing well though, no anxiety and puppy is calm, so far.  The good, bad, and the ugly of wd sxs, oregonlady,

PS it's certain we are not alone in this journey, glad to see folks here this a.m.  Sure feel alone at times, not when I get on BB

[[En...]]

17 minutes ago, [[o...] said:

I had an amazing Window a couple days ago, but couldn't sleep lastnight until somewhere after 12:30 a.m. I fell asleep, but woke right up at 4:30.  4 hours was a blessing, as I am lost for the day at zero hours sleep.  I feel amazing well though, no anxiety and puppy is calm, so far.  The good, bad, and the ugly of wd sxs, oregonlady,

PS it's certain we are not alone in this journey, glad to see folks here this a.m.  Sure feel alone at times, not when I get on BB

Like I've always said no one knows what it is like to be going through this unless you are going through it yourself. Never mind from one day to the next but one hour to the next. You never know what will set off symptoms. I have seen people who have recovered get their symptoms back. Horrible drug. 

[[Ad...]]

The insomnia is by far my worst withdrawal symptom. I try to accept that after each cut I can expect three nights of terrible sleep, a couple of hours or zero. Then after those few days, I go back to getting 5 or 6 hours and stay with that dose for another week to ten days just so I can feel somewhat normal and get things done.

I'm pretty sure it will be two years total before I'm finally off this horrible medicine. I try to concentrate on the positive aspects of tapering, like getting my old personality back. Having a better sense of humor than I've had in years. Feeling like I'm coming out of a dark cloud that I didn't even know I was in for 22 years and now the sun is beginning to shine in a very healing way, breaking up that dark cloud and changing it to a nice fluffy white one.

Sorry if this sounds a little woowoo but that is honestly how it feels.

[[or...]]

1 minute ago, [[A...] said:

The insomnia is by far my worst withdrawal symptom. I try to accept that after each cut I can expect three nights of terrible sleep, a couple of hours or zero. Then after those few days, I go back to getting 5 or 6 hours and stay with that dose for another week to ten days just so I can feel somewhat normal and get things done.

I'm pretty sure it will be two years total before I'm finally off this horrible medicine. I try to concentrate on the positive aspects of tapering, like getting my old personality back. Having a better sense of humor than I've had in years. Feeling like I'm coming out of a dark cloud that I didn't even know I was in for 22 years and now the sun is beginning to shine in a very healing way, breaking up that dark cloud and changing it to a nice fluffy white one.

Sorry if this sounds a little woowoo but that is honestly how it feels.

I've seen enough Windows in my year of tapering, so far, that I am mostly encouraged, such positive things happening in my life.  One thing I don't talk about much is the depression I had most of my life, and definitely worsened over time.  I never liked have to keep refilling the C, but it did keep me off the anti-depressants that doctors wanted to give me.  I noticed several months into my taper that I wasn't having any depression, surprising to me but it was gone, and hasn't come back.

Very rarely do I feel down, like that awful depression but even when I'm having my "version" of bad wd sxs, I still have the hope that it will pass, and it has so far, oregonlady PS I think our acceptance can be a good "friend", just accepting there is one way through this, and we are lucky enough to know the way If we forget, there's always someone that reminds us