weird after 2nd dose today/visiting parent/it’s hard with family

[[Ja...]]

After an iffy nights sleep,.took my first dose about 7,.I feel I didn’t need it but need to keep to the plan so they say,and it was ok,

I usually it leave 5 hr in between doses but had a visit to my mams at 12,.so I took the 2nd dose about 11.20,

I was a bit fatigued after a bad sleep,but after the 2nd dose I went white as a sheet,.pupils dilated a lot,and.looked run down as hell,.bit like the a paradoxical affect

determined to go I had a strong coffee and left,at my mams i felt just as bad and the coffee started making me sweat,the room wasn’t that hot ether,.it spoiled my visit as all I could concentrate on was trying to act normal

its got to the point now it’s getting impossible to hide,I’ve got family that really depend on me to,I kept it to myself apart from my partner as I don’t want to stress my mam out.

I actually think withdrawing this is 1 of the hardest parts going through this with so many family commitments,.and again today it made me doubt why I’m doing it.

At the same time after the weird affect after the 2nd dose,.I could easily start another 1mg drop tomorrow,it’s just starting to piss me right of now

This crap really does push your limits some days

 

 

 

 

 

 

[[je...]]

This is really tough. I never told anyone except my husband and kids and one friend. I would go to work and look at my co-workers thinking: do they know I’m going through withdrawal, can they see how sick I am?

A couple of months ago my friend said to me for the first time I sounded like the “old me”.  I’m sure people noticed I was “off”. But you just do you and whatever you feel comfortable with. I just tried to fake it every day. Some days less successful than others.

Most of the times it feels like your taper will never end. Then it feels you’ll never get better. But as you look back, all those things end and you do make progress. It’s very tough though when you’re in the thick of it.

[[kn...]]

This crap pushes me to the limits every day. So much so that I’ve come to the point where I’ve had ‘the talk’ with all friends and relatives we see and just ‘outed’ myself as to what’s happening and how I’m really feeling. You may want to have a ‘talk’ with yourself as well:  What are you really capable of doing?  Do you need to transfer some of the expectations for yourself onto others? Be realistic about what you can do. Can you really keep up on the yard work, do the 8-5, keep up with social obligations and help with the kids?  Give yourself a break. This whole thing may go on for years. We’re talking survival here. There are no prizes for running your life into the ground. 

[[Ja...]]

Jelly baby…that’s it,it’s that you actually look sick as well and you know folk must notice,today was just a bit worse for some reason or another 

[[je...]]

3 minutes ago, [[J...] said:

Jelly baby…that’s it,it’s that you actually look sick as well and you know folk must notice,today was just a bit worse for some reason or another 

Yes, I know I looked tired and had dark circles around my eyes. I’m sorry it was a difficult day. It sucks and some days it sucks a bit more.

[[Ja...]]

Knackered,..I literally sat down with my misses earlier and explained that this isn’t some couple of week thing,.and it is at the point where I most probably have to let my family know,

I swear I’ll never let my kids see me in a bad way though,.that’s going to be a hurdle I’m going to have to figure out,it’s hard the now but I know especially near the end/drop it’s going to get worse

i was thinking about some kind of inpatient place after the final drop,even a tent on a far away hill might have to do

[[kn...]]

@[Ja...]-  I don’t know how old your kids are, but we keep no secrets. I sat mine down when I had my first MH diagnosis and told them what was happening. Let them know that I’d be taking meds, etc. Makes things a lot easier when the teenage years roll around. They’re now in their mid and late forties and live on opposite coasts, but we still operate the same way.  

[[Pi...]]

Only tell people you have to tell. 3/4 of them will assume your story is nonsense. Then you will get all the "expert opinions" as to what you should be doing from people who know nothing about this that will make you twice as stressed. 

[[Ca...]]

It's so interesting because I of course have told my husband and daughter -- she gets it because she has some MH issues; he still gets angry when I tell him I can't go to visit his siblings and their kids and being a holiday weekend, I missed two such functions. I still hear -- just do it you'll feel so much better. I told a few friends and I think either they don't get it or they forgot and to the rest I said I was extremely fatigued from kidney disease which I have but it's very mild and actually no signs of it in last labs. At least I washed my sheets today and have clean bed sheets to look forward to tonight.

[[Pi...]]

Because your husband like most of my family and wife probably refuse to look at the info that validates our situation. Then you have the psych doctors telling you and them you have emotional issues. Show your husband this video. May help. This guy and his wife are two of the best I've found on the topic.

 

[[Ca...]]

My husband sat with me for a session with Dr. Josef recently. That's what I don't get. A part of him just cannot accept that  exposure therapy won't help.

 

[[Pi...]]

It may help a little bit in small doses. Tell him it's like telling someone with a broken leg to cut out the nonsense and get up and walk. No the leg needs to heal. I need to go to bed. We'll talk more maybe tomorrow. Put a joke on my other thread called Memorial Day. Maybe we can give some others that need it a good laugh.