Anyone experience severe mood swings, anger etc?

[[OD...]]

Aside from the physical symptoms, one that has recently stood out to me is my horrible mood. I'm a ticking time-bomb, I've unfortunately said some horrible things to family and close ones ("hope you get stabbed to death and I get to watch it" etc., just really cruel stuff that is not like me), screaming, cursing etc. which is really scary to me because I'm normally a very peaceful, calm person.

The other is crying, while this one is more harmless and tolerable, I can't listen to songs or watch anything without crying. I watched the Terminator the other day and ugly cried the entire movie because "I never realized how romantic it is".... they were happy tears, I thought it was such a sweet movie because they guy comes back to protect her because he loves her, but I was all red and snotty and had bloodshot eyes by the end.... which is absolutely bizarre.

I should note I am male, but if you saw me watching an action movie, or a horror movie, or heck even a boxing match,  I react the way you would stereotypicaly see pictured a woman on her period watching a sappy romance.

I know my nervous system is highly overly sensitive to everything right now, but I didn't realize this included emotions?

Edited May 26 by [OD...]

[[jo...]]

I can relate. My moods are all over the place sometimes. I have also experienced rapid mood cycling where I'm depressed, anxious, euphoric, angry, blunted, very sleepy, wide awake, all in the same couple of minutes. It's really destabilising. Moods can change in the extreme from day to day also. I go through waves of all this and then tend to stabilise for a time before it starts again. I think it's starting to get less frequent though, although maybe quite early days to say for sure.

Edited May 26 by [jo...]

[[Kr...]]

39 minutes ago, [[O...] said:

Aside from the physical symptoms, one that has recently stood out to me is my horrible mood. I'm a ticking time-bomb, I've unfortunately said some horrible things to family and close ones ("hope you get stabbed to death and I get to watch it" etc., just really cruel stuff that is not like me), screaming, cursing etc. which is really scary to me because I'm normally a very peaceful, calm person.

The other is crying, while this one is more harmless and tolerable, I can't listen to songs or watch anything without crying. I watched the Terminator the other day and ugly cried the entire movie because "I never realized how romantic it is".... they were happy tears, I thought it was such a sweet movie because they guy comes back to protect her because he loves her, but I was all red and snotty and had bloodshot eyes by the end.... which is absolutely bizarre.

I should note I am male, but if you saw me watching an action movie, or a horror movie, or heck even a boxing match,  I react the way you would stereotypicaly see pictured a woman on her period watching a sappy romance.

I know my nervous system is highly overly sensitive to everything right now, but I didn't realize this included emotions?

I actually think you’re pretty adorable and sweet. I’m sorry about the dark angry part we have to endure, I deal with it too. But, I think maybe the universe is teaching us somehow through this. Sensitivity is good , especially on men.

[[OD...]]

2 minutes ago, [[K...] said:

I actually think you’re pretty adorable and sweet. I’m sorry about the dark angry part we have to endure, I deal with it too. But, I think maybe the universe is teaching us somehow through this. Sensitivity is good , especially on men.

Thanks. I can live with the crying through movies lol, it's not harming anyone at least. It was just such a shock the first time I noticed it happening. Don't even get me started on the humane society commercials asking for donations to dogs in need, full on water works.

As far as the anger, I'm mostly learning to go somewhere secluded when I feel it creeping up, I'll go to the park or somewhere I can be mostly alone so I won't say/do something stupid.

[[Cr...]]

59 minutes ago, [[O...] said:

Aside from the physical symptoms, one that has recently stood out to me is my horrible mood. I'm a ticking time-bomb, I've unfortunately said some horrible things to family and close ones ("hope you get stabbed to death and I get to watch it" etc., just really cruel stuff that is not like me), screaming, cursing etc. which is really scary to me because I'm normally a very peaceful, calm person.

The other is crying, while this one is more harmless and tolerable, I can't listen to songs or watch anything without crying. I watched the Terminator the other day and ugly cried the entire movie because "I never realized how romantic it is".... they were happy tears, I thought it was such a sweet movie because they guy comes back to protect her because he loves her, but I was all red and snotty and had bloodshot eyes by the end.... which is absolutely bizarre.

I should note I am male, but if you saw me watching an action movie, or a horror movie, or heck even a boxing match,  I react the way you would stereotypicaly see pictured a woman on her period watching a sappy romance.

I know my nervous system is highly overly sensitive to everything right now, but I didn't realize this included emotions?

I noticed you have been off benzos for almost 2 years. How long were you on them?

It is pretty well known through medical documentation and the personal attestments of a fair share of BB's past and current members that benzos do dull your emotions.  Now imagine being someone that started benzos at 20 and got off at 45. 

They spent over half their life with suppressed emotions. When they come off of benzos, the intensity of a lot of these feelings will be foreign to them. That 'intensity' may in fact just be the normal strength that emotions typically exert on the average human, but it seems so strong due to the person being used to the dulled state for so long.

I have read stories of people that lost loved ones while on benzos that, while still able to feel sadness, didn't really break down and cry about the loss until years later when they got off of them.

This may be a temporary swing in your emotions or it may just be that you still aren't used to feeling the anger, joy, sadness, etc feelings at their normal strength and haven't really processed a way of moderating your outward expressions of these emotions when they occur.

If this is a protracted withdrawal effect, it will stablize over time. If you find yourself at a loss as to how to process/express these emotions then you may want to find a insightful therapist to aid you. A psychiatrist is more likely to try to find a drug solution to a natural healthy "problem".

Edited May 26 by [Cr...]

[[OD...]]

6 minutes ago, [[C...] said:

I noticed you have been off benzos for almost 2 years. How long were you on them?

It is pretty well known through medical documentation and the personal attestments of a fair share of BB's past and current members that benzos do dull your emotions.  Now imagine being someone that started benzos at 20 and got off at 45. 

They spent over half their life with suppressed emotions. When they come off of benzos, the intensity of a lot of these feelings will be foreign to them. That 'intensity' may in fact just be the normal strength that emotions typically exert on the average human, but it seems so strong due to the person being used to the dulled state for so long.

I have read stories of people that lost loved ones while on benzos that, while still able to feel sadness, didn't really break down and cry about the loss until years later when they got off of them.

This may be a temporary swing in your emotions or it may just be that you still aren't used to feeling the anger, joy, sadness, etc feelings at their normal strength and haven't really processed a way of moderating your outward expressions of these emotions when they occur.

If this is a protracted withdrawal effect, it will stablize over time. If you find yourself at a loss as to how to process/express these emotions then you may want to find a insightful therapist to aid you. A psychiatrist is more likely to try to find a drug solution to a natural healthy "problem".

Thank you. I was on benzos for nearly 20 years as needed, but it was the last four years that I switched to daily use that I got into trouble (even after fifteen years of as-needed use, I would often stop cold-turkey for weeks with no problems).

I do think everything is just amplified right now. I took one tiny teaspoon of decaf coffee and felt like I was crawling out of my skin and going manic, same with even a little bit of sugar, so I figure my emotions are likely just as hypersensitive right now.