Nothing yet

[[Ba...]]

I’m off klonopin for 9 months after 23 years prescription. I’m so miserable. I don’t feel any improvement at all I barely make it through the day. My poor husband is so supportive. Anyone else like me?

[[Cr...]]

Jan of 2011 was the last time I used Klonopin consistently outside of few rescue doses on March and Apr.

When Apr 2012 (12 to 15 months out depending how you look at it) came around I was plagued with intrusive thoughts and anxiety. I felt my mind and body were poisoned. I was almost convinced there was no way it was still withdrawal when I felt so awful so far out. Just making it from one minute to the next felt like a monumental task. I became a prisoner in my own mind and body. 

Out of desperation to keep my job and nursing classes I hopped on an AD, but dropped out anyway and lost a month of work. Before the AD had even reached the proper dose and time frame I had turned a corner and got better.

I am not advocating for you to get on an AD, as I don't have proof that doing so was what ended that wave as well as my 16 months of suffering. I was only 2 weeks and 5 days into taking it and I was still under the recommended dose to get relief. Recovery from depression and ocd was supposed to be 4 to 8 weeks at therapeutic dose and I didn't even make it to week one at that dose.

My point is that you never know when you will turn the corner and experience relief. I wish I could tell you the exact date when your good days will start. While 9 months is pretty far along, it is not uncommon to feel what you are feeling at your current timeframe.

You are not alone, and your symptoms are not out of the ordinary. It is rough when each minute feels like an hour, but try your best to occupy your mind to pass time as quickly as you can.

Stay strong.

 

Edited May 24 by [Cr...]

[[Ba...]]

Hi Cronin, 

thanks so much for the reply. I am on a AD, trazadone. I’ve used it for a long time, for sleep. My intrusive thoughts are so upsetting. They are there 24/7. I know you understand so I won’t go into the gruesome details but I can’t function with them. I’m not really going anywhere. I’m too nervous to leave my house. As you said, yours did go away I pray to god with all my heart mine do too. 

[[Cr...]]

As far as I am aware Trazodone is rarely prescribed for depression and when it is the amount a person takes is much greater than what is used for sleep. So in essence you are not really on a AD as far as therapeutic doses goes.

Have you exerienced any moments within the last 9 months where your intrusive thoughts and anxiety lessened?

[[Ba...]]

No. I haven’t. I am think irrationally. I ruminate over past events but I’m remembering them not as they happened but in the worst case scenario way. Is this part of withdrawal?

[[Cr...]]

Rumination is a very common withdrawal symptom. It is common to dwell on the past and worry about the future. I remember how unfair it felt.

The Past brought regret.

The Future brought worry/'what ifs'

The Present was suffering withdrawal and ruminating on the Past and Future. So there was no escape as sleep was hard to come by and when it did happen it came with nightmares.

No matter how much you think about your past you will not be able to change anything. Try telling these thoughts you will be glad to revisit them later once you are healed.

You said you naturally suffer from OCD correct? You may find some help in therapy in dealing with addressing OCD. Withdrawal tends to take our natural faults and intensify them to the extreme. That could be why intrusive thoughts is your most prominent symptom.

While 'waiting' is generally the cure for benzo withdrawal sometimes you need to be more proactive. Look up "Intrusive Thoughts meditation guides" on YouTube. Just remember that meditation takes persistent practice to start making a difference. Don't give up after just a few sessions because you still have intrusive thoughts.

You may also want to look up 'Sadhguru" videos about intrusive thoughts.

Edited May 24 by [Cr...]