When Did It Start Getting Hard?

[[or...]]

9 hours ago, [[m...] said:

At what point in your tapering journey did you start feeling withdrawal symptoms?

It's hard for me to pinpoint because I was in tolerance withdrawals from taking the same dose for 35 years I know it sounds outrageous but that's exactly what I did and I moved around but doctors just kept refilling my prescriptions so I take one a day like a vitamin I've had a lot of issues develop over that time and I don't know whether it's the benzo or just something maybe in my family family I don't know about anyway the hardest time I've had in my tapering was when I first started and I was tapering too much so I tapered back to a very small tapers and then I would hold after each time I tapered I still do it the same but I taper a little more now 3% about 10 days or 11 days tapering slow is away from me because I still maintain quality of life I'm 71 so I don't want to waste a minute you know what I'm saying, Oregonlady 😉

Edited May 16 by [or...]

[[Ba...]]

34 minutes ago, [[o...] said:

It's hard for me to pinpoint because I was in tolerance withdrawals from taking the same dose for 35 years I know it sounds outrageous but that's exactly what I did and I moved around but doctors just kept refilling my prescriptions so I take one a day like a vitamin I've had a lot of issues develop over that time and I don't know whether it's the benzo or just something maybe in my family family I don't know about anyway the hardest time I've had in my tapering was when I first started and I was tapering too much so I tapered back to a very small tapers and then I would hold after each time I tapered I still do it the same but I taper a little more now 3% about 10 days or 11 days tapering slow is away from me because I still maintain quality of life I'm 71 so I don't want to waste a minute you know what I'm saying, Oregonlady 😉

Thank you for sharing 

[[Ch...]]

4 hours ago, [[m...] said:

I am having so much anticipatory anxiety. I don’t know if I need to be ready to quit my job?

When I was tapering (and after!), I really struggled with "anticipatory anxiety." The benzos greatly contribute to this.

What I did was: 1) Take note when I was overthinking something, 2) Force myself to act (or not) by the third time I'd thought of it. For example, let's say I got hungry and wanted to go and get a pizza. I would think, think, and overthink about it, and stress to no end about having to go get it.  I practiced stopping my runaway thoughts, and saying to myself: Do you want pizza? If yes, then I would immediately act, either by calling in the order or by going to the restaurant. If I had done neither by the next thought, I made myself skip it and settle for a sandwich at home.

A silly example, but you get the point. You kind of have to take control of yourself.

With things more complex, the same idea holds - you have to get a grip on yourself, and sort out what can be handled now and what cannot. And then act accordingly. If the endless, stress-inducing rumination doesn't leave on its own, you're going to have to grab it by the neck...

I hope this helps.

[[Ca...]]

I started at 40 mgs of valium and 1.5 Klonapin in Feb 2022 and am down to 14 mgs of valium. I updosed when  was at 12.2 because I felt so horrible but it was a mistake because I feel no better. I am doing dry cuts on the gram scale of 7.5 percent a month or one mg a month but I have been holding trying to stabilize which is just not happening. I am very fortunate to have a compassionate prescriber but she knows nothing about benzo withdrawal. But I also have a coach in the Netherlands and have consulted with Dr. Halligan from So. Carolina the latter advocating for either a 2.5 or 5 percent taper. The other coach wants to keep it at a mg a month. 

I don't know if it's the valium but it's a push to get up and I am very tired until mid evening. I think attitude is key. We just have to let go of outcomes. I loved the pizza analogy. I really hate to go out of the house except to walk alone or with my husband so to make appts I just stop thinking about it and start dialing the number.

It's a wearying process -- last year I felt stronger. I am also very kindled from prior rehab stays. Last night I had a window which my family picked up on because they heard me laughing on the phone. Today, all gone. 

[[mo...]]

1 hour ago, [[C...] said:

When I was tapering (and after!), I really struggled with "anticipatory anxiety." The benzos greatly contribute to this.

What I did was: 1) Take note when I was overthinking something, 2) Force myself to act (or not) by the third time I'd thought of it. For example, let's say I got hungry and wanted to go and get a pizza. I would think, think, and overthink about it, and stress to no end about having to go get it.  I practiced stopping my runaway thoughts, and saying to myself: Do you want pizza? If yes, then I would immediately act, either by calling in the order or by going to the restaurant. If I had done neither by the next thought, I made myself skip it and settle for a sandwich at home.

A silly example, but you get the point. You kind of have to take control of yourself.

With things more complex, the same idea holds - you have to get a grip on yourself, and sort out what can be handled now and what cannot. And then act accordingly. If the endless, stress-inducing rumination doesn't leave on its own, you're going to have to grab it by the neck...

I hope this helps.

Thank you so much for your smart and thoughtful response. It’s a relief to know I’m not alone and to be reminded that my anxiety is likely a symptom of the taper.

I am in a difficult life situation as well. I am a caretaker of my mother who is slowly going paralyzed and dying of ALS. I am recognizing through your response that perhaps trying to anticipate symptoms is my way of attempting to “take control” in time in my life where I have little control. All my posts on this site so far are regarding fear of the future, despite no major symptoms yet. It’s absolutely doing more harm than good. Thank you again for your input.

[[mo...]]

6 hours ago, [[C...] said:

Just wanted to jump in. Over the years I have witnessed people on this forum and in my personal life that tapered off benzos and recovered relatively easily. (I was not lucky enough to be one of them).

In fact I think many of us know people in our lives that were on benzos for months or years and claimed they got off with little to no trouble.

There seems to be a small, but not insignificant, portion of the benzo-using population that will have trouble coming off and recovering quickly. They often end up here on this site.

There is a good chance you will encounter unpleasant symptoms as you cut, but they are just that.. symptoms. They are transient, not permanent. View any symptoms as metaphor for repairwork going on in your brain. Feeling a little dizzy with burning sensations? Ah well those little construction worker cells in your brain must be hard at work then.

Construction is noisy, unpleasant, and takes awhile. But the finished remodeling is well worth the wait.

So don't stress over 'potential' future suffering. That will only make you suffer longer than, and before, you need to. You may also be one of the lucky ones with a quick recovery. If not you have the people at this forum to help guide you through this scary journey.

Thank you so much for your insight. I  Not only is it reassuring, but it really made me think. And I love the construction metaphor. You are certainly right that this anticipatory fear is making me suffer before the physical suffering has even begun and will likely exasperate symptoms if/when they do appear. 

Thank you for your kindness, understanding and reassurance. It’s so beautiful to have true support here. I have few people in my life I can share these fears with.

[[mo...]]

6 hours ago, [[C...] said:

Just wanted to jump in. Over the years I have witnessed people on this forum and in my personal life that tapered off benzos and recovered relatively easily. (I was not lucky enough to be one of them).

In fact I think many of us know people in our lives that were on benzos for months or years and claimed they got off with little to no trouble.

There seems to be a small, but not insignificant, portion of the benzo-using population that will have trouble coming off and recovering quickly. They often end up here on this site.

There is a good chance you will encounter unpleasant symptoms as you cut, but they are just that.. symptoms. They are transient, not permanent. View any symptoms as metaphor for repairwork going on in your brain. Feeling a little dizzy with burning sensations? Ah well those little construction worker cells in your brain must be hard at work then.

Construction is noisy, unpleasant, and takes awhile. But the finished remodeling is well worth the wait.

So don't stress over 'potential' future suffering. That will only make you suffer longer than, and before, you need to. You may also be one of the lucky ones with a quick recovery. If not you have the people at this forum to help guide you through this scary journey.

Thank you so much for your insight. I  Not only is it reassuring, but it really made me think. And I love the construction metaphor. You are certainly right that this anticipatory fear is making me suffer before the physical suffering has even begun and will likely exasperate symptoms if/when they do appear. 

Thank you for your kindness, understanding and reassurance. It’s so beautiful to have true support here. I have few people in my life I can share these fears with.

[[mo...]]

6 hours ago, [[C...] said:

Just wanted to jump in. Over the years I have witnessed people on this forum and in my personal life that tapered off benzos and recovered relatively easily. (I was not lucky enough to be one of them).

In fact I think many of us know people in our lives that were on benzos for months or years and claimed they got off with little to no trouble.

There seems to be a small, but not insignificant, portion of the benzo-using population that will have trouble coming off and recovering quickly. They often end up here on this site.

There is a good chance you will encounter unpleasant symptoms as you cut, but they are just that.. symptoms. They are transient, not permanent. View any symptoms as metaphor for repairwork going on in your brain. Feeling a little dizzy with burning sensations? Ah well those little construction worker cells in your brain must be hard at work then.

Construction is noisy, unpleasant, and takes awhile. But the finished remodeling is well worth the wait.

So don't stress over 'potential' future suffering. That will only make you suffer longer than, and before, you need to. You may also be one of the lucky ones with a quick recovery. If not you have the people at this forum to help guide you through this scary journey.

Thank you so much for your insight. I  Not only is it reassuring, but it really made me think. And I love the construction metaphor. You are certainly right that this anticipatory fear is making me suffer before the physical suffering has even begun and will likely exasperate symptoms if/when they do appear. 

Thank you for your kindness, understanding and reassurance. It’s so beautiful to have true support here. I have few people in my life I can share these fears with.

[[mo...]]

6 hours ago, [[a...] said:

I tapered to 11 mgs in 7 months and got some fairly severe symptoms and had to up dose back to my previous cut and have been holding for a month . I have stabilized and will be continuing my taper very shortly. Just listen to your body. If you go too fast it will let you know you need to slow up

Did you have symptoms during that original taper or did they come on more suddenly? I will be down to 50% of my original dose within 3 months, which seems quick even though I’m following the protocol. I just don’t want these decisions now to catch up with me later.

[[or...]]

14 hours ago, [[M...] said:

This is a perfect metaphor.  Thank you.  

That's why I love reading Parker's info article as she uses a similar metaphor to describe "What is Happening in Your Brain"