Need support, looking for a mutual peer taper buddy going through it too!

[[Pe...]]

Is there place set up to help pair people up with a one-on-one buddy who is at a similar dose for a similar length of time or a similar place in the taper? Kind of like peer sponsor/friend for tapering together?? 

I met another girl also going through an Ativan taper on Reddit and we messaged multiple times a day about our symptoms and fears, etc. I’m 34F, bedbound with a severe chronic illness, I am also polydrugged and in the middle of a Lunesta and Ativan taper (one at a time) and then I’ll need to start a gabapentin taper. I’ve been on Lunesta 3mg for 5+ years gabapentin 1,800mg for 5+ years, Ativan 2mg for over 2 years. Unfortunately I’d been prescribed benzos in the past too, long term, but didn’t know about withdrawal because doctors just said my chronic illness flared when I went off them before. I was in tolerance without knowing it for almost a year. 

 

Is anyone in a similar situation and looking for a daily chat buddy? I know it’s triggering for some people to message about how hard withdrawals are all the time, but for other people like me and this other girl, it was a pressure relief valve. We encouraged each other to keep going and challenged each other’s irrational thoughts and could talk about how crazy it was to be this ill and unable to function.. I even have a caregiver because of the combo of illness intensified by the withdrawals! 

 

The other woman was only on a small dose for a short time, so she jumped a while ago. Now any mention of benzos became stressful for her, so I’ve encouraged her to move on and go live her life! I’m so proud of her. But I’m still only 1/3rd of the way through my Ativan and Lunesta tapers. I have basically every symptom: panic, anxiety, tremors, migraines, muscle tension, burning nerve pain, insane nausea & insomnia and more… so I won’t think anyone is crazy for their extreme presentations. I’ve been ill for 21 years after a childhood illness triggered several severe chronic illnesses. I know the benzos have made them worse, but I’m too sick to distract myself or leave my bed and I’ve got a long way to go. I’m looking for any tips on finding a buddy who is also looking for unfiltered support and a place to be raw with the horrors of living through this. 

 

I it felt really different having a one on one benzo-friend who was also too sick to work, going through withdrawals, intrusive thoughts and needing a consistent person who knows my story and vice versa. Is there anywhere that helps match up people like that, kind of like peer sponsors for tapering?? Or does anyone here want something like that if it’s allowed? 

 

Sorry for all the info, but I know it can help to know if someone story resonates, so I added a ton of info! 
 

 

[[kn...]]

Rest assured that your post will be read by many others on this site. I’m a mess and so are most of the other folks here. Most of us have been this way for more than just a couple of years.  Some of the members have ‘finished’ and are still suffering.  If you look around a bit, you can probably find someone before they find you. Most will accept personal messages and agree to a personal chat. Best wishes. You’re among friends.