Cognitive impairment

[[Vi...]]

My H is 26 mos off after a 15 mos taper and continues to be significantly impaired in some ways. Mostly, he seems to have anosognosia, meaning his brain doesn't see that there's anything wrong with him (poor reasoning, poor social skills, poor memory). He also has regular incidents of his mind being blank, where he has no thoughts at all. When I ask him how he thinks something may impact me he will say singing like, "not good," but he can't think any deeper than that. He generally seems to lack empathy and remorse. Also had language problems sometimes: like using the wrong words or singular instead of plural verbs.  When he gets angry he says all sorts of things that aren't true about me to me, videos me during our argument, sees himself as a victim... just shows crazy out-of-character behavior. When a day or so later I ask him if he realizes how crazy he acted, he says something like, "Yes, I see my part," but he cannot specify what he did wrong when to anyone else it would be blatantly obvious. Says his mind is blank, which is bc of the anosognosia. Because of this, typically  everything for the past 3.5 years has been my fault. There are times when I can explain things enough that he then understands what he did wrong, or at least he says he does, but I'm not sure. I know he is not faking this. During his taper there was a time when he bought me a diamond ring and tearfully gave it to me saying it was for all he had put me through. But as he continued his taper, empathy, remorse, and that way of thinking disappeared. Also, there's no intimacy, emotional or physical. I'm so afraid he'll stay this way. 

[[Le...]]

Thats rough. Some of that was still going on for me around the end of the second year. I now think it was more cause of the trauma than the WD but there is no way to be sure. I dont think you can underestimate what this can do to a person. I have heard it described as “going insane while being sane enough to watch it happen”. seems very apt for me. I went through a cold turkey WD without anyone telling me I was in withdrawal. I really cant believe what happened or that I survived it. I really had a hard time believing I could ever live with what had happened. 

I dont know your Hs details but it definately plays a part. 

[[Le...]]

Ever try getting him away from where it happened and people he connects to it like doctors for a while?  A place where he can calm for a time but not be isolated so his thoughts cant always overwhelm him?  That is what started me really recovering. It was very very hard for me to do and your H may not be easy to convince. 

 

It also seemed to me that as the physical problems started to resolve and I could think better it was a new issue itself because I could think about what had happened to me. 

Nothing really seems significant to me at the moment. Nothing that happens in life seems in anyway able to trouble me much personally. I think because after going through this anything is 1/golglionth as severe and I really cant take it seriously. 

 

Cut me off in traffic and I wave and smile and think that poor guy is all rushed and stressed and acting silly. He doesnt know what problems really are. 

Edited May 13 by [Le...]
addition

[[Ma...]]

@[Vi...] You may want to schedule an appointment with Jennifer Leigh. She can support you and, I believe, help you understand what is happening with your husband. She also has groups you can join that can be useful as you go through this.

And please remember: it’s the stupid drugs, not him, that are causing all of this.

It will end. Time and patience is what is needed in addition to support. Nobody should do this alone.

[[Le...]]

Everyone on here becomes convinced everything is the drugs forever and they are the cause but often not actual physical damage is causing every issue. It is difficult for many people to accept and there are lots of people who feel like experts after going through this and reading so much about it. It is really hard to ever be sure but sometimes returning to doctors or trying to understand what is going on with you is actually the problem. Something to consider

[[Ar...]]

Hello ☀️

Personally I would make an appointment with a neurologist, to make sure that there is nothing else going on.

Big kudos to you for supporting your husband through all of this.

I did (doing) the same, so I know what it takes.

[[Vi...]]

On 13/05/2024 at 14:22, [[A...] said:

Hello ☀️

Personally I would make an appointment with a neurologist, to make sure that there is nothing else going on.

Big kudos to you for supporting your husband through all of this.

I did (doing) the same, so I know what it takes.

Thank you. It's extremely difficult! He does have an appt for updated neuropsyc testing in June. I'm so nervous about what will happen there, I'm so leary of doctors.