someone remind me why I'm doing this?

[[Er...]]

I took Klonopin for sleep for 18 years and for the most part it worked. I did not have problems/side effects with it. It was the only thing that helped me to get past endless worry at night during a very stressful life event and get sleep so that I could function, work, take care of my kids. I decided to taper off because 18 years is a long time and I didn't want to ever risk having to go CT due to circumstances out of my control. We are also moving to another country and I thought it wise to get off before then so that I don't have to scramble in a new system/risk losing access. However, now that I'm down into a low dose (0.125 mg), I am back to the original problem. That is, I'm up all night (not every night but enough) worrying when something stressful comes up in my life. And I can't pop another Klonopin to get to sleep like I may have in the past so I've have some nights with zero sleep. My questions are... Is 0.125 mg of Klonopin enough to help with sleep at all? How do I address my issue of night time worry and rumination? Therapists are extrememly hard to find here where I live. I don't feel that I have a general anxiety disorder but clearly there is situational anxiety which can feel pretty horrible. Going back to my original 0.5 mg dose sounds like it would just make everything much worse in the long run so I know not to do that although it's tempting.

[[Ma...]]

Some people take Remeron or Hydroxyzine for sleep, or Magnesium Glycinate, if you can manage it. Some take sleep aides like Trazadone. Just stay away from Z drugs.

You can put sounds of waves, the jungle on YouTube and blacken the screen; listen to guided meditation on Insight Timer.

Nidra Yoga promotes sleep.

You can reread this post every time you are questioning Why, to remind yourself.

Many people who took benzos for an anxiety ‘disorder’ find their anxiety either disappears following w/d or they’ve learned coping skills they never had prior to manage the symptoms.

Others choose to go on a SSRI long term and onboard while tapering to manage the symptoms.

There are a lot of options to help you cope.

P.S.

Remember, if you updose to .5 you’re going to have to work again to get back down to .125. Please just keep going forward!

 

Edited May 12 by [Ma...]

[[Ja...]]

I think we all must have thoughts like this at some point through this,it’s easier to go back though than forward,.I’m putting faith in myself that I can deal with life without the help of a medication that can lead me into a worse situation later in life,.I also took it for sleep after life events,but that lead me into addiction with it,your right it helps,.it’s when it stops helping that theres problems.

[[Ja...]]

Mary1 I think you right that there’s definitely a link with benzos and anxiety,.there’s mutch healthy options out there,.meditation with breathing techniques is a game changer.

[[Le...]]

I never had actual anxiety problems affecting me all the time until benzos. I had panic attacks when 5/6 of my immediate family died or got seriously injured or seriously ill. Sometimes I wonder how often the “anxiety disorder” comes after the treatment not before. 

[[Er...]]

35 minutes ago, [[M...] said:

Some people take Remeron or Hydroxyzine for sleep, or Magnesium Glycinate, if you can manage it. Some take sleep aides like Trazadone. Just stay away from Z drugs.

You can put sounds of waves, the jungle on YouTube and blacken the screen; listen to guided meditation on Insight Timer.

Nidra Yoga promotes sleep.

You can reread this post every time you are questioning Why, to remind yourself.

Many people who took benzos for an anxiety ‘disorder’ find their anxiety either disappears following w/d or they’ve learned coping skills they never had prior to manage the symptoms.

Others choose to go on a SSRI long term and onboard while tapering to manage the symptoms.

There are a lot of options to help you cope.

P.S.

Remember, if you updose to .5 you’re going to have to work again to get back down to .125. Please just keep going forward!

Thank you. I happen to have a Dr appt next week and I feel I need to ask for something as a bridge. Not sleeping 2x/week isn't sustainable for me. I still have a child at home and I have a job. I will look up Hydroxyzine and Remeron. I have all kinds of botanicals, sounds, meditation apps... I exercise. I'm very sensitive to stress. I do a lot of should have, would have could have talk to myself. Unfortunately even THC (legal where I live) causes a paradoxical reaction in me and makes me hyper alert. 

[[Ma...]]

The ‘Wif’s’ (what if…) aren’t helpful and we all do that, so please try to stay in this moment and just 1 moment at a time. And no amount of regret is going to change the past.

Remeron is much more sedating at lower doses and Hydroxyzine is not a psychoactive medication but rather an antihistamine so you may wish to try that first (I’m not a doctor).

And, yes, the weedage can be problematic-for now.

I give you major props for only having sleep anxiety while tapering! And at .125 you’re really close so give yourself some credit! Hopefully you’ll smoothly walk off and all of this will soon be a distant memory 🤞!

[[Er...]]

3 hours ago, [[M...] said:

The ‘Wif’s’ (what if…) aren’t helpful and we all do that, so please try to stay in this moment and just 1 moment at a time. And no amount of regret is going to change the past.

Remeron is much more sedating at lower doses and Hydroxyzine is not a psychoactive medication but rather an antihistamine so you may wish to try that first (I’m not a doctor).

And, yes, the weedage can be problematic-for now.

I give you major props for only having sleep anxiety while tapering! And at .125 you’re really close so give yourself some credit! Hopefully you’ll smoothly walk off and all of this will soon be a distant memory 🤞!

Thank you for your words of encouragement.

I wish the THC wasn't problematic for me bc it seems like a good solution! I've tried various combinations of strains. Over time, the effect changed from overall beneficial to counterproductive.. no idea why.

[[Le...]]

22 minutes ago, [[E...] said:

Thank you for your words of encouragement.

I wish the THC wasn't problematic for me bc it seems like a good solution! I've tried various combinations of strains. Over time, the effect changed from overall beneficial to counterproductive.. no idea why.

thats what happens to everyone with almost any drug.  a distraction and experience once or twice. a problem if frequent and addiction happens.  most of us are likely very vulnerable to addiction. 

its been known to increase anxiety especially if used often even beyond addiction. 

Edited May 13 by [Le...]
add something

[[...]]

The best thing I've found for sleep is a YouTube...

I'd find an interesting  subject, with a single speaker, and a calming voice.

Download it to the phone. Then just let it loop. They seem to hold my mind from ruminating and I  fall asleep. I'll use the same one for weeks. Sometimes I make a playlist of multiples. I still use this every night.

Edited May 13 by [...]

[[Am...]]

Hi. So I have been on a benzo for 20 years, one a night, no issues. Went off because it's no longer available in my country and didn't want a new tablet. It's been a week and it's horrible. Was hoping to find a satisfactory answer to why I shouldn't just get another one. Nobody has really outlined the benefits. 

[[je...]]

Hi @[Am...]

Welcome! I have tried to answered your question in your other thread you've started.

[[En...]]

On 12/05/2024 at 20:07, [[E...] said:

Thank you for your words of encouragement.

I wish the THC wasn't problematic for me bc it seems like a good solution! I've tried various combinations of strains. Over time, the effect changed from overall beneficial to counterproductive.. no idea why.

I was feeling good during my taper. I was a chronic weed smoker and have since quit last year. I still had some in my house and I decided to try it again. Big mistake. I got so high I developed aka and got a headache. The next day I had very bad withdrawal symptoms. Hot skin, bad headache, sore muscles, nightmares, horrible anxiety, bad body and hand tremors just to name a few. I was feeling good. Talk about regret. I also take an SSRI so I thought I had serotonin syndrome. Called my Dr and he told me he didnt think so and that I screwed up my symptom free taper. All from 3 puffs of a joint. That was a week and a half ago. The physical symptoms are mostly gone other than body and hand tremors and occasional anxiety. I have anhedonia again too. My Dr told me I will feel good again. I sure hope so. I will wait it out before I taper again. I seem to be healing. Just very disappointed in myself. What if....

[[Er...]]

Don't beat yourself up! You will feel good again. I've had to swear off of even the tiniest portions of edibles as my brain now becomes hyperstimulated which is the opposite of what I want. It took multiple times to learn this lesson. I kept thinking that perhaps this time it wouldn't have the same effect and perhaps might even help me sleep but it always caused hyperstimulation/anxiety even with very small amounts. I got furious with myself over this many times. Somehow maybe we get hypersensitized to things, including THC. Originally, THC did not have these negative effects on me. More recently, as in about a week or two ago, I stopped drinking my one nightly drink. I think that could affect sleep as well although I'm not sure 1 beer or glass of wine would do that but nothing is worth getting zero to 2 hrs of sleep for. 

[[Le...]]

pot loosens up your mind and causes lots of random thoughts. i dont think where your mind is going to wander at the moment will be anywhere good.