3 month post CT

[[Lu...]]

Hi all, hope everyone is having a relaxing, peaceful and sunshine filled Friday ❤️

wanted to give an update and see if anyone can relate or offer any advice. So I’m almost 3 months post CT off of Xanax and am still in a great great deal of suffering. I have very tiny windows (usually a couple hours but sometimes a couple minutes) but for the most part still horrible. Not all bad though, some symptoms have gone away completely and some have faded slightly. PVC’s and palpitations are 100% gone, tachycardia is gone which is fantastic. 
 

right now my main symptoms are incredibly bad DP/DR which is contestant, still have no balance at all. Serious vertigo most of the day.  The floaty boaty feeling has not gone away even a little bit. And INTENSE muscle twitches all over my body. Literally like whack a mole, one second in my cheek, then intense twitching in my eye brow for a couple hours then my quads then my fingers and calves. It’s impossible to predict and usually lasts all day and night. Could this still be Benzos 3 months later? I’m worried  I figured I would atleast have my balance back by now.

i had an appointment with my new primary doctor yesterday and explained to him the situation and how bad I still am 3 months later and he was very empathetic and seemed slightly knowledgeable about Benzo but idk who to trust anymore. He’s a nice guy and is much younger and more willing to listen than my psychiatrist. I have fullly lost my trust in the medical community though which makes me sad. He advised me to immediately go back on a long acting Benzo and taper off or some of these symptoms may never go away (his words). So now I’m just very confused and scared and not sure whether to keep letting time do its thing or to listen to him and try his approach. Any advice would be much appreciated. 
 

much love to all of you wonderful folks, wishing you all the best and praying for you all  

Edited May 3 by [Lu...]

[[PE...]]

Hi!

I'm 7 months out CT 150mg diazepam. Don't make the classic mistake and go back!

My third month i still had many symptoms. My worst was bad akathisia and nassua/vomiting. 

I now have some minor anxiety and minor tinnitus. Worse today because i went angry yesterday when i couldn't sleep and took 600mg quentapine. 

If I would be you i would just keep on what you doing. There's a good chance your symptoms will get better soon.

[[Lu...]]

@[PE...] hello my friend thank you for the reply and hope you are well   my only concern is that my worst symptoms haven’t seems to have gotten better at all which makes me so worried and defeated. But I will endure! 

[[Ma...]]

Hey there Lucas! You’re seeing symptoms go away-that means healing is taking place! It also means the sxs you have now will also go away.

I know it’s confusing especially hearing, ‘Go back on and your symptoms will go away’-from a doctor no doubt.

I get it. I really, really do. But we’ve been down this road, you’ve spoken to coaches, read tons of posts here and done your research. You know the answer is: KEEP GOING!

KEEP GOING! You are 3 months closer to the finish line. That takes so much courage and strength. I hope you can celebrate that. It could literally be another couple of weeks-nobody can tell you for sure, but it could. Or you could wake up in a big glorious window tomorrow! ITS POSSIBLE!

Keep going Lucas, you’re closer than you realize!

Edited May 3 by [Ma...]

[[ns...]]

24 minutes ago, [[L...] said:

Hi all, hope everyone is having a relaxing, peaceful and sunshine filled Friday ❤️

wanted to give an update and see if anyone can relate or offer any advice. So I’m almost 3 months post CT off of Xanax and am still in a great great deal of suffering. I have very tiny windows (usually a couple hours but sometimes a couple minutes) but for the most part still horrible. Not all bad though, some symptoms have gone away completely and some have faded slightly. PVC’s and palpitations are 100% gone, tachycardia is gone which is fantastic. 
 

right now my main symptoms are incredibly bad DP/DR which is contestant, still have no balance at all. Serious vertigo most of the day.  The floaty boaty feeling has not gone away even a little bit. And INTENSE muscle twitches all over my body. Literally like whack a mole, one second in my cheek, then intense twitching in my eye brow for a couple hours then my quads then my fingers and calves. It’s impossible to predict and usually lasts all day and night. Could this still be Benzos 3 months later? I’m worried  I figured I would atleast have my balance back by now.

i had an appointment with my new primary doctor yesterday and explained to him the situation and how bad I still am 3 months later and he was very empathetic and seemed slightly knowledgeable about Benzo but idk who to trust anymore. He’s a nice guy and is much younger and more willing to listen than my psychiatrist. I have fullly lost my trust in the medical community though which makes me sad. He advised me to immediately go back on a long acting Benzo and taper off or some of these symptoms may never go away (his words). So now I’m just very confused and scared and not sure whether to keep letting time do its thing or to listen to him and try his approach. Any advice would be much appreciated. 
 

much love to all of you wonderful folks, wishing you all the best and praying for you all  

O geez Lucas, 

First I'd like to say I'm so glad to hear somme of those terrible symptoms are gone! This is such good news. 

You've been through so much Lucas and you give me much inspiration. 

I know you're still struggling and I'm sure you're ready for this to be over.  That being said, please don't listen to anyone who tells you to go back on a benzo!

I'm a product of that! You've Been off 3 months Lucas, this is amazing! 

You've got this. The symptoms you're experiencing are wd symptoms, your brain is healing. 

I'm going thru this too. Symptoms rev up, some gone, others come and they'll go too. 

It's hard to stand bit I do it. Hard to walk, but I do it. 

Actually, I'm miserable but I'm better! 

I hope you can remember back to where you were 3 months ago. It wasn't good. Now compare if you can. You know you've past a mile stone here,you've gotten past that jump! 

Please remember the jump ok. Remember these are symptoms of wd, our brain is healing and it takes time. 

Maybe your diet has something to do with your vertigo, floaty boaty stuff idk you could reassess diet and sleep patterns. 

Or, maybe it's time to  change your focus. Remember what I told you about this?

Are you still smoking?

Do you notice your symptoms rev up during and after smoking?

Your twitching. That's typical ok. 

Nlav has this, I've had that too.

Go back to trey Jones anxiety on YouTube ok, hypersensitivity is a good one to watch, also symptoms!

I know how hard this is Lucas, I'm tired, but when I feel that healing breeze brush over me, I'm reminded that I'm on my way back. I know you get this too. Hold on to that, it's your future!

I'm praying for you Lucas 

Ns

 

[[jo...]]

Im at three and a half months and am still very symptomatic. This is compleatly normal. A lot of people will tell you that your not even out of the acute phase yet so the real healing should be starting around now. I too have considered reinstating but the thought of potentially making this an even more difficult experience down the line is enough to keep me going.

It is hard to get a grasp of potential healing times as they vary so greatly from person to person but their seems to be a general consensus that a lot of gains are made from 6 months onward. Some heal even quicker than that some take longer. It's such a frustrating experience to go through I honestly dont know of anything else like it. How long is a peice of string seems to be the only true answer.

Stay Strong!

[[ns...]]

18 minutes ago, [[L...] said:

@[PE...] hello my friend thank you for the reply and hope you are well   my only concern is that my worst symptoms haven’t seems to have gotten better at all which makes me so worried and defeated. But I will endure! 

Those worst symptoms are the ones we focus on Lucas. I know, I do it.

I stopped focusing on the brain shaking, it's gone! Just like all of them, even though they are many, the worst ones I've found myself focusing on, worrying about are those that I give attention to, and they stick around longer.

Remember, like a spoiled bratty child screaming for your attention, you give in, and she'll never stop!

[[Lu...]]

@[Ma...] @[ns...] you both give me such strength and hope! I cannot thank you enough for supporting me since my very first day on here 3 months ago. Your kindness, knowledge and fortitude has helped me more than you’ll ever know through all this. 
 

I am just so tired   every day feels like a year. And the uncertainty of when or if it will get better and what to do about it is so exhausting as I’m sure you both know! I am going to keep going though! My daughter’s birthday party is tomorrow and my wife has 20 people coming over to our house and I’m so so nervous about it! Going to try and put a smile on her for sake though. 
 

thank you again, thank you x10000

[[Lu...]]

@[jo...] you’re right, thank you for the kind words and encouragement. All there is to do is keep pushing I suppose. Only way out is through 

[[jo...]]

Just now, [[L...] said:

@[jo...] you’re right, thank you for the kind words and encouragement. All there is to do is keep pushing I suppose. Only way out is through 

We can do it! many have before us and will continue to long after we're all well.

[[Kr...]]

@[Lu...]nsindy is right. Stop focusing on your symptoms and they will disappear. You’re only 3 mos off, that’s nothing. 
If you go back on a benzo  you will be most likely be very sorry you did. 
don’t expect a brain injury to heal like a paper cut.

 

[[Ca...]]

I was cold turkey'd from valium and subutec a form of suboxone and in a state of protracted withdrawal for two years before I reinstated. How I so wish I had just hung in there. Yes, I felt better when I reinstated but I was on high doses that I could not keep replenishing. So I started a microtaper of the valium and brought down the subutec and I am sicker now than I was during that two year period. You can put your head on the pillow and know you are off the drug and you will improve. If you can even contemplate having people in your home, you are doing better than many here.

[[Ya...]]

12 hours ago, [[P...] said:

Hi!

I'm 7 months out CT 150mg diazepam. Don't make the classic mistake and go back!

My third month i still had many symptoms. My worst was bad akathisia and nassua/vomiting. 

I now have some minor anxiety and minor tinnitus. Worse today because i went angry yesterday when i couldn't sleep and took 600mg quentapine. 

If I would be you i would just keep on what you doing. There's a good chance your symptoms will get better soon.

You jumped cold turkey from 150 mg of diazepam? According to your reports, that's not true! Did you taper yourself?

[[PE...]]

6 minutes ago, [[Y...] said:

You jumped cold turkey from 150 mg of diazepam? According to your reports, that's not true! Did you taper yourself?

In my reports? Yes i did. I tried to taper the whole last year but it didn't work out do i had to ct

I wrote than in my history i think.

When I was trying to taper i did it myself yes.

Some days i was on 150mg diazepam orher days other benzos. Full blisters. It was crazy. I was to tolerant to get any effect.

[[PE...]]

Yes I just checked @[Ya...] and it's all in history. I CT in November. 

[[Kr...]]

14 hours ago, [[C...] said:

If you can even contemplate having people in your home, you are doing better than many here

I agree!