Does everyone really recover?

[[Ki...]]

I am still really struggling at 22 months, I tried to find solace in the reassurance that “everyone recovers”. But when searching I seem to see a lot of people ask this and the responses are usually “you’ll see improvement” or “it gets better”. I’m still sensitive to small things like this and maybe I’m overthinking it, but it almost feels like everyone is avoiding the question as to not freak people out.
 

So is it actually true everyone recovers? And I don’t mean you improve to the point that you’re functional, or things get better so that they don’t interfere with your day to day life, or the actively bad symptoms (I.e. anxiety, akathisia, looping thoughts etc) go away but the more passive symptoms like emotional numbness are still present and you learn to live in this new state. I genuinely mean recover back to normal? You feel what you used to be able to feel, you react in the same way to external stimulus, your cognition and memory work like they did before… 

Even when the actively bad symptoms ease a little my brain is still in the exact same state it was when I was in the drugs, I have windows and waves of these withdrawal symptoms but the functioning in terms of my emotions, drug induced asexuality and genital numbness are exactly the same as what they were on the medication. And after 2 years you start to think this is just what you’re going to have to live like even if the actively bad symptoms to subside over time. That you’ll never experience old emotions or feel love again (which I haven’t been able to for almost a decade), or never be able to have a family because of this.
 

I speak to coaches who tell me that everyone recovers but then I see people talk about the permanency of PSSD. They both can’t be right…

For reference these issues started when starting the SSRI back in 2015 and were still there 7 months later after stopping before reinstating because of withdrawal (I didn’t know it was the drugs causing it at the time) leading to 8 more years of subsequent polydrugging due to kindling and multiple withdrawal attempts.

Can someone please tell me the truth?😞

I just want to feel normal again.

[[PE...]]

This is being asked many times here.

It's a cell damage and cells has a built in response to adapt and heal. Also brain cells work this way.

Yes we all heal!

 

[[Ma...]]

It seems to be the current trend online to say, No. Not everyone heals.

I call bull. I believe 100% -MORE-that yes, everyone heals. I believe it wholeheartedly with 1 caveat: there is going to be a .0000001% that may not in terms of lingering issues. Issues that may be age related, pre-existing conditions-who knows. It’s life.
 

I also believe you’re not going to be the same person coming out of the fire as you were going in. Maybe wiser, more humble, empathetic, probably more joyous because you not only survived but now have the chance to thrive!

I also feel YOU have to believe you will heal, manifest it, promote it with diet and exercise, mindset. Believe in yourself and your own healing journey!!

[[...]]

I can't refer to my experience yet bc i'm still on my way to the long-waited recovery but i firmly believe that yes, we're all going to heal, at least, to the point where we started this benzo journey. I won't list all the information i've read on benzo, i have and a lot or all the people whose recovery i witnessed to, not heaps but quite a few. I just feel my own condition is steadily improving and this is enough for me so as not to doubt) And, certainly, we all heal but at our oun pace.

Edited April 13 by [...]

[[wi...]]

@[Ki...]

you have sincerely touched my heart.

social media is not a place to get answers to such deeply sensitive questions. At the end of the day you will always need to come back to what feels true for you with the knowledge that there is no absolute truth out there that applies to everyone concerning drug induced injuries and how much we revert back to  what we knew as normal before this happened.

You will  find a lot of cheerleading here but no one knows the answers for you. And right now you’d not know them either, nor do I.This is a hard reality of life. 
I hope you can appreciate me trying to not give you any bs trite answers, but rather acknowledge you’re suffering and attempting to give you some comfort .

I have a similar situation to you. ❤️

[[ro...]]

2 minutes ago, [[w...] said:

@[Ki...]

you have sincerely touched my heart.

social media is not a place to get answers to such deeply sensitive questions. At the end of the day you will always need to come back to what feels true for you with the knowledge that there is no absolute truth out there that applies to everyone concerning drug induced injuries and how much we revert back to  what we knew as normal before this happened.

You will  find a lot of cheerleading here but no one knows the answers for you. And right now you’d not know them either, nor do I.This is a hard reality of life. 
I hope you can appreciate me trying to not give you any bs trite answers, but rather acknowledge you’re suffering and attempting to give you some comfort .

I have a similar situation to you. ❤️

Well said my brother. And I have many of the same issues and concerns as mentioned in this post. Suffering for this long and to this magnitude is truly inhumane. It’s no part of normal human experience. I’m sorry you are struggling. I’m with you. I wish I had better advice. It is almost more difficult to just be blindly told everyone heals when there is no true total understanding of every individual’s unique injury or circumstance.

[[Al...]]

1 hour ago, [[w...] said:

@[Ki...]

 

 "that there is no absolute truth out there that applies to everyone concerning drug induced injuries and how much we revert back to  what we knew as normal before this happened.

 

I agree with this.  People are different.  Different ages, different genetics, different mental health and skill sets of adaptability.  Healing isn't one size fits all I think.  For me, at 6 months off and in my 70s now I fear that age is hindering my recovery.  Ive lost the wonderful fitness I had 3 years ago.  On the positive side, my single worst symptom was head symptoms and very distracting tinnitus.  Ive learned to push through it for the most part but Ive developed some anticipatory anxiety towards sleeping (insomnia) and a general sense of unwellness.  While I am aware of it I need to work on these issues as I go forward.  Im not trying to be a downer, just speaking my truth.  Every nite I pray for us all and send healing vibes to all that are suffering from this condition.  

[[wi...]]

@[Al...] I appreciate you and you are the opposite of a downer. I love how real and unassuming you are. I pray for us too. ❤️

Edited April 10 by [wi...]

[[Nu...]]

2 hours ago, [[M...] said:

I believe 100% -MORE-that yes, everyone heals. I believe it wholeheartedly with 1 caveat: there is going to be a .0000001% that may not in terms of lingering issues. Issues that may be age related, pre-existing conditions-who knows.

This!

There is always the rare exception, but that's everything in healthcare and life in general.

[[Re...]]

2 hours ago, [[w...] said:

@[Ki...]

you have sincerely touched my heart.

social media is not a place to get answers to such deeply sensitive questions. At the end of the day you will always need to come back to what feels true for you with the knowledge that there is no absolute truth out there that applies to everyone concerning drug induced injuries and how much we revert back to  what we knew as normal before this happened.

You will  find a lot of cheerleading here but no one knows the answers for you. And right now you’d not know them either, nor do I.This is a hard reality of life. 
I hope you can appreciate me trying to not give you any bs trite answers, but rather acknowledge you’re suffering and attempting to give you some comfort .

I have a similar situation to you. ❤️

@[wi...] I love the way this was written and agree with this perspective.

@[Ki...] I do not know if what I say provides you any comfort or relief but I hope that it does. I care about you and want you to heal and get your life back and be happy again. This is my wish for you.

It is hard to know reading stories online why healing times vary. Some people are not honest with themselves so why would they be honest with us if they have habits that may be negatively affecting their health. Maybe some people are doing things or ingesting things they don't realize are prolonging their process. Some people choose to stay on psych meds and do not reveal it. Some people might have underlying conditions, we all have different genetics and have taken different drugs for different durations. All of these could be contributing factors.

Some people did not take psych meds and they are asking themselves the same question. For example, long Covid patients, cancer patients, MS patients, etc. Health issues are unfortunately part of the human condition and this was our set of health circumstances in this life.

So to answer your question, I believe that the majority of people heal to the point where they can live full lives again. But like with other ailments and diseases, there are a small number of outliers. There are always outliers to any equation. Who knows why -- this is just life on life's terms.

22 months is a long time to suffer but you cannot assume you will not heal at 23 or 24 months. You are still in that window of 18-24 months where people report healing -- some overnight! Like Neighbor Bob who had an underlying chemical TBI and still healed. You might want to connect with him. He provides support to benzo patients. His email is on his YouTube channel.

If you have to move the goal post, you can cross that bridge when you come to it. I always think of Megan Z and Southern Belle's stories also Traumatized80. Megan healed around 3.5 years then at 6 years her remaining symptoms just went. But she was able to live a meaningful and active life while waiting for that 100 percent healing.

There are currently people swearing they will never heal bombarding comments of others' videos and starting a war within the psych med harm community over this topic. But again, we don't know who they are or what they are doing in their lives because this is an online world. Also, what is the motivation behind this? To terrorize hope? It serves no constructive purpose. Also, how do they know they won't heal? How do they know we won't heal? This approach doesn't help to bring this community together -- a togetherness we all desperately need.

If you are making other people's timelines your own, it may be time to log out to protect your own experience. It is so easy for us to make other people's timelines our own when they are not. This is why I go dark in the groups for longer periods to protect my own experience.

 

Edited April 11 by [Re...]

[[Nu...]]

3 hours ago, [[R...] said:

This approach doesn't help to bring this community together -- a togetherness we all desperately need.

It is so easy for us to make other people's timelines our own when they are not.

Love this post, but especially these two nuggets of information. Very well said and thank you, @[Re...].

[[Re...]]

2 hours ago, [[N...] said:

Love this post, but especially these two nuggets of information. Very well said and thank you, @[Re...].

Thanks @[Nu...]. There are a few individuals who are notorious for these comments. One I see consistently commenting in detail swearing this damage is permanent. While I wholeheartedly feel for this person's pain and suffering, I think there are constructive ways to go about having these conversations in the community that withholds principles that support well-being of all members overall. I have been to 12-Step meetings before as an an outsider without substance issues and they have principles and traditions that provide structure and guidelines for members, the global fellowship, and their interaction with society/communities at large. Everyone agrees upon these guidelines or they are not welcome to attend. They provide a framework for healing.These groups have been successfully helping people for close to 90 years. They are not perfect, no group of humans is but it works. It would be so nice if we had our version of this ides for the psych med harm community so members are making decisions with the betterment and growth of all involved and put our common welfare first instead of harboring fear and againstness.