Elderly father on Xanax withdrawal - Eating issues and weight loss. Need some advice.

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Hello buddies, first of all, want to say  I´m very grateful to this forum, cause it was very helpful for me, during my own withdrawal period. It´s been 9 years since then, and I´m perfectly recovered and doing fine!. 

Now I´m writing to ask for advice about my father´s case. Unfortunately, he passed away just some weeks ago. He was 76, he got pneumonia, but his body could not beat the infection because he was very malnourished and severely thin. He weighed less than 50 kilos, i guess. 

He was an Alplax (Xanax) user for at least 40 years, without interruption. Mostly to treat his insomnia, and also other depression/anxiety issues he dealed with. After all that time taking it, he had developed tolerance, so last year he decided to increase the dose. Unfortunately, he did this without proper medical supervision, or without consulting it with anybody. So he ended up taking a very high dose per day, and this started to cause him frightening memory loss episodes, or stuff like forgetting to close the car door, etc, etc.

He always fed himself well, always followed a very healthy and complete diet and really enjoyed food. But after this, he slowly started to eat less.

He finally agreed to see a psychiatrist and a neurologyst cause he was really scared about this memory loss episodes. Neurologist said that all memory issues were caused by Xanax abuse, and by his depressive disorder, something he´d always dealed with, in different ways. Psychiastrist gave him antidepressants, and told him he must low his Xanax dose gradually, with specific indications.  

As he started to reduce xanax dose, his memory started to get better and better. The antidepressants seemed to be helping, too. But he slowly abandoned treatment, and his food issues just started to get worse and worse. He started to be very fussy with food and the way things are cooked, started to despise meals he used to like, said he had no appetite at all, and that he "can´t eat". He described this as something absolutely NOT voluntary, he did not expressed it as a decision. My mother struggled for him to eat, he cooked specially and carefully for him every day, but he got angry and said mealtime was an absolute torture. He also said he had a lot of constipation and he felt like he had a "ball in his stomach", so he also abused laxatives. 

He did several medical studies to discard any physical issue regarding stomach, blood, etc, but all came out well. Physically, he was healthy. Neither swallowing or chewing issues. But he CAN NOT eat, those were his words. He didn´t accept taking food supplements. He also refused to see psychiatrist again, while he kept taking a lower, but stable Xanax dose (3 pills of 2 mg each).

Very complex scenario, as you see.

So he kept losing and losing weigth, and this pneumonia was fatal for him.

I miss him so much, and although I know every case is different, in some way, I need to understand why he couldn´t eat food. Personally, I had a lot of withdrawal symptoms, but different ones. ¿Could this be withdrawal related? He obviously had a severe Xanax dependency, after decades using it. ¿Or could be some early dementia related stuff, aggravated by circumstances? Let me say that, besides those memory loss episodes (which later disappeared), in general terms he was a very lucid, intelligent and coherent person.  

Thanks a lot. 

 

[[Bu...]]

Hello @[...],

I am so very, very sorry for the loss of your father.  It sounds like you were very close and that you love him very much.  Unfortunately, I don't know if there is any way to really untangle what happened and what may have caused your dad's problems. 

I am in a similar spot with my dad now as you were then.  He also has a complicated history of mental health issues (anxiety, depression, PTSD,) and  medications, including a benzo for a while.  He has some dementia, as well, mood swings, etc.  And he won't eat much either.  There isn't anything physically preventing this, he just won't.  I think that it is a combination of all of the above in my dad's case.  Maybe it was for your dad, too.  

I am so sorry, though.  It is so heartbreaking watching those we love suffer, and not being able to do anything about it.  I'm sorry I don't have any good answers for you.  But I am glad that your dad had you and I'm sure he loved you just as much as you loved him.

[[...]]

On 08/04/2024 at 12:36, [[B...] said:

Hello @[...],

I am so very, very sorry for the loss of your father.  It sounds like you were very close and that you love him very much.  Unfortunately, I don't know if there is any way to really untangle what happened and what may have caused your dad's problems. 

I am in a similar spot with my dad now as you were then.  He also has a complicated history of mental health issues (anxiety, depression, PTSD,) and  medications, including a benzo for a while.  He has some dementia, as well, mood swings, etc.  And he won't eat much either.  There isn't anything physically preventing this, he just won't.  I think that it is a combination of all of the above in my dad's case.  Maybe it was for your dad, too.  

I am so sorry, though.  It is so heartbreaking watching those we love suffer, and not being able to do anything about it.  I'm sorry I don't have any good answers for you.  But I am glad that your dad had you and I'm sure he loved you just as much as you loved him.

Thanks for your words, and for taking the time to read my story. During my own withdrawal period (10 years taking clonazepam) I experienced a lot of symptoms, but the most disturbing one was a severe hypocondria. I went through a lot of medical and neurological studies, cause I was sure I had multiple sclerosis, then I underwent a brain scan ´cause I swore I had some kind of brain tumor, only because I was experiencing strong headaches, and a long etcetera. I was really depressed and alienated, those were really difficult days for me. So I think my father could have gone through something similar while tapering Xanax. He really felt he was ill, and also experienced strong headaches that made him obsess with brain tumor symptoms. He went throung brain scan too, which brought him some relief, cause there was no tumor at all. But then he transferred those worries to a different part of his body, finding new symptoms. Thaht´s how hypocondria works. Maybe this obsessive cycle also affected his relationship with food and/or feeding abilities. He though he had stomach cancer, even though that was ruled out by medical studies. He was healthy. 

Of course, this is only my hypothesis, knowing my father and also based in my own experience, but I think benzo withdrawal could be even more difficult in elderly people. There are more vulnerable in many ways.

 

[[Bu...]]

@[...],

I think that you're right about withdrawal being more difficult for the elderly.  Your reasoning regarding the hypochondria also makes sense to me.   And again, I am so sorry.  And I'm sorry for everything that you had to deal with as well.  I'm glad that you are recovered; thank you for mentioning that.  It gives me hope for my own future.❤

[[Nu...]]

Cognitively, emotionally, intellectually, we're a mess during this. Why did I watch the same episode of a TV show three different times because I couldn't understand it? Why couldn't I figure out how to put my shoes on the other day when the left shoe was simply laying to the right side so they were backwards? No idea. But it stands to reason that we're such a mess in these areas that lack of appetite would be easy to associate with withdrawal. We'll never know, so the only thing we can do is assume based on reason. And sounds reasonable to me.

I'm sorry to hear that you went through this, as did your family member... and for your recent loss. Such a tough road.