Scared.

[[ca...]]

Hi..

i was tapering 40mg of Valium. After a reinstatement that was for a 1mg of Ativan. I realize I wasn’t doing this bad after the first CT.

i was having so much dark thoughts during the Valium taper, I ended up in the hospital often. Very often. Eventually, I was cold turkeyed. At 25mg.

I am terrified I will never heal. It’s been 2 weeks today. I am alive but on Gabapentin. I realize I am having a hard time getting off Gabapentin too. I had less yesterday and I was starting to feel it today. I know it’s also a nasty drug.

Anyways. I realize I shouldn’t have reinstated in the first place. And I trusted a doctor at a toxicology centre. And I shouldn’t have either.

i am just laying in bed thinking how many terrible choices I have made in the past three/four months that led me here. And I am just so sad and scared…

[[Re...]]

9 minutes ago, [[c...] said:

Hi..

i was tapering 40mg of Valium. After a reinstatement that was for a 1mg of Ativan. I realize I wasn’t doing this bad after the first CT.

i was having so much dark thoughts during the Valium taper, I ended up in the hospital often. Very often. Eventually, I was cold turkeyed. At 25mg.

I am terrified I will never heal. It’s been 2 weeks today. I am alive but on Gabapentin. I realize I am having a hard time getting off Gabapentin too. I had less yesterday and I was starting to feel it today. I know it’s also a nasty drug.

Anyways. I realize I shouldn’t have reinstated in the first place. And I trusted a doctor at a toxicology centre. And I shouldn’t have either.

i am just laying in bed thinking how many terrible choices I have made in the past three/four months that led me here. And I am just so sad and scared…

@[ca...]  I hear you. I have been there. You are so early on in this process. I was also given Gabapentin. It is a very trendy drug. I think we all grieve the choices we made but we didn't know what we didn't know. And how could we? Globally, we are medically spellbound to believe that doctors know more than they actually do. And it's not even their fault on a level because they are not taught about these drugs in medical school.