Curious to hear your thoughts on this

[[Re...]]

Many of us deeply reflect on our lives during benzo withdrawal. What have you learned from this experience about your life? What decisions will you make differently going forward now knowing what you know?

[[Bu...]]

Hey @[Re...],

Good questions!  I think that withdrawal has taught me to listen to myself more.  I've learned the importance of healthy boundaries.  It's ok to really consider my own needs, wants and opinions before agreeing to just anything.  I've learned to ask questions and to take my time when faced with important choices.   And I've learned I'm a lot tougher than I thought! 

How about you? 

[[...]]

Oh... It's a mountain of a question🤔!)  I've learned a lot, in fact too much to comprehend it to the full yet. First of all, I learned to be optimistic. I know much better what kind of person i'm and what i need. I've figured out my brain doesn't like to be drugged and fights it in a very painful way. I learned not to expect too much from people (they're mostly good, sometimes great, but don't owe me anything) and to enjoy every single good moment. Lots of other things, in fact. And i learned to respect and appreciate any experience of mine, even  a bad one - like a hard lesson i needed; to be grateful. And one more thing - however deep i hide, life will always find me and kick if need be. No good in hiding) I'm still learning.

@[Re...], what about you?)

 

Edited April 7 by [...]

[[Bu...]]

[[Re...]]

@[Bu...] @[...]

 Here is what I have learned so far in no particular order"

• Make every decision from an intentional and authentic place, even small decisions because they can lead to situations later on that get big
• Choose people as friends who are organized and act accordingly in emergency or life-threatening situations and know what to do
• Choose people as friends who care about you and show it consistently with their actions, don't make excuses for others bad or neglectful behavior
• Be impeccable about having your legal and financial life in order and update your documents annually
• Appreciate luxuries like walking or sitting down by choice, taking a nap, watching a movie, laying on a pillow on your side in silence, and being able to put a shirt over your head with your arms (things I didn't know were luxuries until they got taken away from me)
• Listen to your instincts, you are right
• Confront situations head-on and in the moment with people rather than waiting
• People-pleasing could literally cost you your life given the right circumstances, stop people-pleasing
• Live your life thinking about making a legacy that you will feel positive feelings about if life were to end tomorrow -- there were so many regrets I thought about and didn't even realize were regrets during the worst of this

I am sure there is more but this is what comes to me today. Maybe this is an ongoing thread! 

 

Edited April 7 by [Re...]

[[Bu...]]

@[Re...],

4 minutes ago, [[R...] said:

Appreciate luxuries like walking or sitting down by choice, laying on a pillow on your side in silence, and being able to put a shirt over your head with your arms (things I didn't know were luxuries until they got taken away from me)

I love this!  There are so many things that I took for granted before all this and then lost.  Some of them have returned and I am so grateful for them now.

And I hope this becomes an ongoing thread; I think that would be very nice!

 

[[Re...]]

5 minutes ago, [[B...] said:

@[Re...],

I love this!  There are so many things that I took for granted before all this and then lost.  Some of them have returned and I am so grateful for them now.

And I hope this becomes an ongoing thread; I think that would be very nice!

@[Bu...] What did you lose and get back?

[[Bu...]]

@[Re...]

Sleep!  Not that it's normal or great yet, but at my worst, I was sleeping 0-3 broken hours a night for about 2 1/2 months.  Ugh.  Now it's usually 3-7 hours, sometimes up to 9.  One night, last week, I even had a night where I slept for 7 hours solid.  Solid!  I remember the clock saying 1:25 am and then I woke up and it was 8:36.  I almost couldn't believe it!  I can also usually nap again, which I also could not do for several months.

I also have normal dreams again, not nightmares.  Just dreams.

For several months I couldn't sing.  I usually sing and hum randomly on and off during the day, but for a couple months, it physically hurt.  It would hurt my diaphragm and flair up my acid reflux and cause chest pain and throat pain.  And I would loose my voice.  But it's fine now, like it never happened.

And some foods. While I still have a limited diet, I have gotten back apple juice (which I love).   I can eat oats again in moderation, but not after 9 pm and not on an empty stomach, (or else I may turn into a gremlin 😁😉).

[[Re...]]

3 minutes ago, [[B...] said:

@[Re...]

Sleep!  Not that it's normal or great yet, but at my worst, I was sleeping 0-3 broken hours a night for about 2 1/2 months.  Ugh.  Now it's usually 3-7 hours, sometimes up to 9.  One night, last week, I even had a night where I slept for 7 hours solid.  Solid!  I remember the clock saying 1:25 am and then I woke up and it was 8:36.  I almost couldn't believe it!  I can also usually nap again, which I also could not do for several months.

I also have normal dreams again, not nightmares.  Just dreams.

For several months I couldn't sing.  I usually sing and hum randomly on and off during the day, but for a couple months, it physically hurt.  It would hurt my diaphragm and flair up my acid reflux and cause chest pain and throat pain.  And I would loose my voice.  But it's fine now, like it never happened.

And some foods. While I still have a limited diet, I have gotten back apple juice (which I love).   I can eat oats again in moderation, but not after 9 pm and not on an empty stomach, (or else I may turn into a gremlin 😁😉).

This is great to hear. It's the simple things....I understand the happiness about sleep. I slept 0-2/3 hours broken for around 14 months. On two separate occasions I did not sleep for two weeks and one time I didn't sleep for five days. I sleep like you do now. But I cannot nap yet. Adding that to my bullet points!

[[Th...]]

Before Benzo withdrawal I was well on my way to older age so I had definitely become more kind to myself during my recovery. Withdrawal has more or less been one more experience in life, one more adventure I took myself on. I don't regret using Benzos, although had I known I would struggle so much coming off them, I definitely would have avoided them. I suppose one thing I have learned during withdrawals is to be patient. Patience was never one if my virtues but I think withdrawing has schooled me on learning to be patient with myself, let time pass as it sees fit and to appreciate every day even if I don't feel anywhere near 100%. 

[[fl...]]

Going thru my tapering I learned patience.  It was very hard and I struggle from time to time.  What I learned most is to Not Sweat the Small Stuff.  I used to worry about stupid things, dirty floors, being picky about stuff.  etc.

Now it doesn't bother me so much to see dirty baseboards or floors or messy kitchen sink. 

 

 

[[Es...]]

NEVER POP ANOTHER PSYCHIATRIC MEDICATION IN MY LIFE. AND NEVER EVER TRUST SHRINKS AGAIN!

[[Pi...]]

To not be so judgmental of other people.

 

[[ba...]]

That I am living my best life now, even in extreme distress. Because our best life is undergoing actions, practices, behaviors, self expression and self acceptance and validation of the pain. Putting on a positive face for others. By smiling and listening to others instead of venting, I get a lift and feel connected. Backing off and shutting down when in the worst states. It's ok to turn off the phone. Sowing love, everyone needs it. By investing in healthy habits, thinking and learning. The longed for Nirvana  is not attainable. The real peace is found in the journey of hard lessons and appropriate actions and reactions. 

That is living our best life.

[[Re...]]

4 hours ago, [[E...] said:

NEVER POP ANOTHER PSYCHIATRIC MEDICATION IN MY LIFE. AND NEVER EVER TRUST SHRINKS AGAIN!

Amen!!! Or ANY doctors!! Research everything THOROUGHLY before you decide to take it. If you need to see a doctor, don't EVER tell them the full story -- less is more. They will misdiagnose you in your medical records and that is permanently on file.

[[Re...]]

5 hours ago, [[f...] said:

Going thru my tapering I learned patience.  It was very hard and I struggle from time to time.  What I learned most is to Not Sweat the Small Stuff.  I used to worry about stupid things, dirty floors, being picky about stuff.  etc.

Now it doesn't bother me so much to see dirty baseboards or floors or messy kitchen sink. 

Right, like who cares about traffic when you have been through benzo withdrawal? So many people have high-quality worries that are really small things and they don't even know it. The world is full of those people.

[[Bu...]]

I've been thinking a lot about this over the last couple of weeks.  I think another one of the biggest lessons I learned is that I don't really have much control over anything and that I need to let that go.  Well, I guess there is a happy middle ground between "control freak" and "letting whatever just happen".  I grew up in the "whatever" kind of family, which made me a bit of a control freak, or maybe just a planner and fixer to a fault.   Anyway, I've learned that after I have taken all reasonable steps for whatever situation, I need to let it go.

I'll be 8 months off tomorrow and I'm not where I hoped to be, but I've done all I can, so now it's time to let it go.  

[[PE...]]

Very good question. 

The most obvious first, not to use chemicals for insomnia in my case. Or will i use them if I ever get anxiety for any reason.

As this has taken so long time i will treasure ordinarie life to a new extent. 

Understand people with depression and mental discomfort more than before. I always thought they was just making up. I was living in happy ignorance. 

I have a degree in behaviour science and might use this combo to make a difference in my country. The ignorance belong the medical core here is unbelievable.