I have to reinstate

[[or...]]

[[Ru...]]

 

@[Lu...] I'm sorry you are suffering so much. You have my prayers!!

You have received some really good responses here.

Ultimately, the decision to reinstate, or not, is going to be up to you. Make the decision that you feel the most comfortable with. Do what's best for you. You will still have support here. 

My personal experience is that I had to reinstate after a week of ct. I stabilized and two weeks later I started my taper and am doing ok. I have ups and downs, but I'm functional and so much better than going though the full blown wd's of the ct.

I'm praying for you! I know you'll get through this!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[[be...]]

On 05/04/2024 at 01:17, [[L...] said:

Has ANYONE reinstated after 50 days after a CT and found relief .. this just keeps getting worse for me. I can’t handle much more. I don’t think it can get much worse so I don’t see a downside in reinstating and trying to stabilize then taper. Although I know most people say a month is the cut off. But I am so beyond desperate. Any advice would be wonderful thank you. Please Pray for me. ❤️

did u reinstate?

[[Lu...]]

@[be...] I chose not to reinstate

[[Cr...]]

15 minutes ago, [[L...] said:

@[be...] I chose not to reinstate

Any positive changes since you originally made this thread and now @[Lu...]?

[[Lu...]]

11 minutes ago, [[C...] said:

Any positive changes since you originally made this thread and now @[Lu...]?

Definitely some of the symptoms have diminished or gone away but many are still quite horrible unfortunately 😕also changes on a day to day basis, so depends what day you ask me. Or even what minute you ask me,  would say it is trending in an over all positive way but the progress is glacial. I do believe I will eventually be fully healed 

[[Cr...]]

11 minutes ago, [[L...] said:

Definitely some of the symptoms have diminished or gone away but many are still quite horrible unfortunately 😕also changes on a day to day basis, so depends what day you ask me. Or even what minute you ask me,  would say it is trending in an over all positive way but the progress is glacial. I do believe I will eventually be fully healed 

Thank you for your reply. I take it you are glad you didn't reinstate? So often people make rash choices during times of high anxiety that they later come to regret. There have been many members currently debating reinstating while in a state of turmoil similar to how you were during the making of this thread.

Your follow-up is appreciated because it provides a good example for other members that holding out for just a little longer can often yield just enough improvements to help them march forward.

[[Lu...]]

5 minutes ago, [[C...] said:

Thank you for your reply. I take it you are glad you didn't reinstate? So often people make rash choices during times of high anxiety that they later come to regret. There have been many members currently debating reinstating while in a state of turmoil similar to how you were during the making of this thread.

Your follow-up is appreciated because it provides a good example for other members that holding out for just a little longer can often yield just enough improvements to help them march forward.

You’re welcome. Thank you for asking. I am quite proud of myself that I have been able to push forward without reinstating, while being a parent, spouse and business owner. It has most certainly tested me in ways I would’ve never thought imaginable. I do think it is a very personal decision and MANY factors need to be weighed into each individuals choice to go back on or not. For me personally I do think it was the right choice to stay the course and stay off. I don’t think our bodies and minds can truly begin to heal until the meds are truly out of our system. If anyone is able to suffer through the hell storm without going back on I do think it’s the right move, you are delaying the inevitable by going back on unfortunately. 
 

I am by no means healed, at all. Everyday is still a struggle. But the mental clarity and peace I have from knowing there is no substance in my brain delaying the healing is a victory in of itself.

[[Cr...]]

7 minutes ago, [[L...] said:

I do think it is a very personal decision and MANY factors need to be weighed into each individuals choice to go back on or not.

I absolutely agree! People should never be shamed for deciding to reinstate. But it always prudent to point out the potential downsides as well as bring up the real possibility that they might get better if they hold out longer. Once the choice is made, others should be sympathetic to the member's suffering and at least offer continued support and hope.

I have seen some successful reinstatements in my time here but have also seen several instances where members had wished they hadn't reinstated not long after they did. It is harder to give hope to someone that has lost all their progress and is now dependent on benzos again with little gain in the way of relief. Well not harder to give hope, but more difficult to convince them there is hope.

[[Lu...]]

21 minutes ago, [[C...] said:

I absolutely agree! People should never be shamed for deciding to reinstate. But it always prudent to point out the potential downsides as well as bring up the real possibility that they might get better if they hold out longer. Once the choice is made, others should be sympathetic to the member's suffering and at least offer continued support and hope.

I have seen some successful reinstatements in my time here but have also seen several instances where members had wished they hadn't reinstated not long after they did. It is harder to give hope someone that has lost all their progress and is now dependent on benzos again with little relief provided.

Absolutely agree. I think everyone here is a gentle soul and is being asked to navigate an incredibly complex problem with no training essentially. Pretty much cast out at sea during a tsunami and then having to navigate back to shore on our own. We have all been failed by the medical system and I am very grateful this place exists as a rescue raft of sorts to come up with game plans and receive support. 
 

everyone is worthy of love and healing and I truly believe it will find its way to us all. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow but some day. We simply need to hold on. It does get easier. When I started this thread I was rocking in the fetal position unable to navigate to my kitchen to get a glass of water or hold a conversation lasting more than a minute. Now 3 months later I took my daughter to see fireworks the other night and went to a barbecue for 4th of July and socialized and had fun and went swimming. Am back at work mostly full time, able to enjoy movies and video games again and be intimate with my wife again. It absolutely gets easier. 
 

as I said I still have many many symptom's that are enough to bring me to my knees at times. but I think the biggest tool in my tool box of withdrawal is faith. You must fully believe in your healing and I think it pays dividends. 
 

I have a very long road ahead to 100% healing, but it’s a road I’m willing to walk. Even if it’s a centimeter a day. And I’m proud to walk it along side all the beautiful people on this support group.

 

Edited July 7 by [Lu...]

[[Fa...]]

Just now, [[C...] said:

I absolutely agree! People should never be shamed for deciding to reinstate. But it always prudent to point out the potential downsides as well as bring up the real possibility that they might get better if they hold out longer. Once the choice is made, others should be sympathetic to the member's suffering and at least offer continued support and hope.

I have seen some successful reinstatements in my time here but have also seen several instances where members had wished they hadn't reinstated not long after they did. It is harder to give hope to someone that has lost all their progress and is now dependent on benzos again with little gain in the way of relief. Well not harder to give hope, but more difficult to convince them there is hope.

A little over a month ago I was desperate and was about to reinstall, but the words of the people in this group made me move on, I am not cured at all, but I see many improvements, I hope that in a few months I will be well again All of us who go through this are true warriors, there are no words to describe this hell.

[[Lu...]]

@[Fa...] we will get there my friend.

[[Fa...]]

Just now, [[L...] said:

@[Fa...] we will get there my friend.

Yes, keep strong friend 

[[Kr...]]

“ do you always speak in bumper stickers?”

meryl streep postcards from the edge 

[[Lu...]]

@[Kr...] hahaha I honestly might 

[[Ca...]]

I reinstated after a rehab detox. And I took enough to get out of withdrawal and then I kept increasing and finally started a taper over two years ago. It's a valium microtaper which is what I primarily took. So I totally kindled myself and this taper has been hell. I wish to God I had never reinstated. I think Baylissa told me before I did that 50 percent of her patients were able to microtaper successfully and 50 percent were not and how would I feel if I were in the latter 50 percent. I was much more functional after that rehab detox then I am now. 

You will get different opinions because noone really knows how you will react. But one sure thing is that you have those drugs out of your system now and that in my opinion is huge.

You know we will support you whatever you decide.

[[be...]]

Did ubget reinstated?

[[Ca...]]

I reinstated myself without the intent to taper because I took a high enough dose that I felt normal again. But I had to keep increasing it and that's what led me to start my microtaper. This is just my experience.

[[wi...]]

16 hours ago, [[C...] said:

You will get different opinions because noone really knows how you will react

👍

[[An...]]

On 07/07/2024 at 21:28, [[L...] said:

@[Kr...] hahaha I honestly might 

How are you now

 

Your story has inspired me I've been really wavering!

[[Lu...]]

 

On 05/09/2024 at 15:06, [[A...] said:

How are you now

Your story has inspired me I've been really wavering!

I am much, MUCH better than when I originally posted this back in April. Still not 100% healed but have absolutely seen a large amount of progress. Are you doing any better?

[[Kr...]]

Are you on any other meds that you u have started since seeing that neurologist a few weeks ago?

[[Lu...]]

@[Kr...] nope, drug free. I won’t even take an aspirin these days or even use bug spray haha he did some tests to rule out scary stuff and that was about it!

[[An...]]

Hard to say what I would do if I were in your shoes but if I felt I had no choice but to reinstate, I would try a low potency long half-life benzo like Valium since you have been off the Xanax for 50 days.

I know we all hate the thought of reinstating but continuing to try to tough things out after a CT is not always the best option for everyone. Sometimes, we have to live to fight another day.

 

[[An...]]

OIC, you chose not to reinstate. Congrats and good for you. I initially replied to your OP w/o reading through the entire thread. Happy to hear you are doing so much better. Continued health and healing to you my friend.👍