I have to reinstate

[[Lu...]]

Has ANYONE reinstated after 50 days after a CT and found relief .. this just keeps getting worse for me. I can’t handle much more. I don’t think it can get much worse so I don’t see a downside in reinstating and trying to stabilize then taper. Although I know most people say a month is the cut off. But I am so beyond desperate. Any advice would be wonderful thank you. Please Pray for me. ❤️

Edited April 4 by [Lu...]

[[Ma...]]

How much were you taking, what benzo, and for how long?  50 days is still relatively soon in recovery but a long time from a CT so I’d hate to see you go back on unnecessarily. 

Edited April 4 by [Ma...]

[[ji...]]

4 years ago i unknowing thought i could just stop taking klonopin and was in a horrific state for three months.  i dont even know how i survived.  at three months, i reinstated almost back to my original dose.  once i began to feel better i found benzo buddies and started my taper  many prayers for you to feel better soon~~jill

[[Lu...]]

@[Ma...]    Hi there thank you for the reply. My journey with benzo started in 2021 I took Ativan .5 mg up to 1 mg a day for seven months and then tapered off that because it made me feel depressed.
 

I was off for a couple months wasn’t 100% back to myself, but was feeling much better and then I had a cardiac event called myocarditis which landed me in the hospital for two days and was very traumatizing and caused a massive relapse in my anxiety

 

so then my doctor put me onto Klonopin 1 mg every day And was on that for probably six or seven months daily and then tapered off of that as well. Again, not feeling 100% myself, but was fairly doable. Nothing like I am experiencing now this is probably 10 times worse than what I’ve been dealing with but the prior tapers

 

after I got off of that I was put on alprazolam 0.25 to .5 a day for emergency situation, so I would only take it every now and again never really developing a full tolerance to it and that was about a year I did that. Up until about January of this year I was put on a new medicine from my cardiologist which caused some very distressing symptoms so I took the Xanax .5 mg about every day for three weeks and didn’t know if that was long enough to require me to taper so I just stopped taking it which ensued this horrible storm that I am currently experiencing the last dose was February 13 and it just seems to be continuing to get worse,

 

some of the physical symptoms have relieved like the twitching and joint pain but what remains is horrible vertigo, Dizziness, soul crushing DP/DR which is making me almost non functional. Panic attacks that leave me in a heap on the floor surrounded by cold wet towels I used to try and lay over my face to calm me down. Horrible depression and emotional numbness. and these are extremely volatile throughout the day every minute is different. It’s too much to handle. I know that is a very muddy history with these drugs. My doctor never once fully wanted to detail about how these could affect me or how difficult they were to come off or the downside of flip-flopping between medication and dosages I feel I was done a great disservice by this man. I never once considered myself an addict or took more than was prescribed. Some of the exact months may not be precisely correct I’m having a hard time thinking I will need to go to the Walgreens and get an exact timeframe of when and how long I was on these but that is a rough ballpark summary. I’m sure kindling is playing atleast some roll. But idk. 
 

 

I run a business with Multiple employees and am a father to a beautiful 3 year old daughter who is the love of my life and me entire world and husband to an adoring wife. I want to be back to functioning so I can regain control of my life. I know that’s alot to digest I appreciate you taking the time to talk to me, thank you ❤️

 

Edited April 4 by [Lu...]

[[Lu...]]

5 minutes ago, [[j...] said:

4 years ago i unknowing thought i could just stop taking klonopin and was in a horrific state for three months.  i dont even know how i survived.  at three months, i reinstated almost back to my original dose.  once i began to feel better i found benzo buddies and started my taper  many prayers for you to feel better soon~~jill

Thank you for sharing your story it means the world to me right now. I feel so alone. Did you find immediate relief from reinstating?

[[Ma...]]

Sorry you are going through all of that.  It sucks that you weren’t set up with a doc to appropriately taper you.  Unfortunately, here’s no guarantee that reinstating will help you and you may need to be at a higher dose for it to do so.  I can’t tell you what to do, but IF I was going to reinstate, I would definitely not get on Xanax again.  It is potent and has a short half life so the WD is generally worse and it is a harder medicine to taper off smoothly.  If I was going to I’d probably want to reinstate on Valium as the half life is longer.  I’ve never reinstated so I can’t comment on that, just going with what the ASHTON manual says (below) I’m sure some others will chime in here.   

 

Reinstatement after withdrawal? Many benzodiazepine users who find themselves in this position have withdrawn too quickly; some have undergone ‘cold turkey’. They think that if they go back on benzodiazepines and start over again on a slower schedule they will be more successful. Unfortunately, things are not so simple. For reasons that are not clear, (but perhaps because the original experience of withdrawal has already sensitised the nervous system and heightened the level of anxiety) the original benzodiazepine dose often does not work the second time round. Some may find that only a higher dose partially alleviates their symptoms, and then they still have to go through a long withdrawal process again, which again may not be symptom-free.

Updosing during withdrawal? Some people hit a “sticky patch” during the course of benzodiazepine withdrawal. In many cases, staying on the same dose for a longer period (not more than a few weeks) before resuming the withdrawal schedule allows them to overcome this obstacle. However, increasing the dose until a longed-for plateau of ‘stability’ arrives is not a good strategy. The truth is that one never ‘stabilises’ on a given dose of benzodiazepine. The dose may be stable but withdrawal symptoms are not. It is better to grit one’s teeth and continue the withdrawal. True recovery cannot really start until the drug is out of the system.

Pharmacologically, neither reinstating nor updosing is really rational. If withdrawal symptoms are still present, it means that the GABA/benzodiazepine receptors have not fully recovered (see above). Further benzodiazepines cause further down-regulation, strengthen the dependence, prolong withdrawal, delay recovery and may lead to protracted symptoms. In general, the longer the person remains on benzodiazepines the more difficult it is to withdraw. On the whole, anyone who remained benzodiazepine-free, or has remained on the same dose, for a number of weeks or months would be ill-advised to start again or to increase dosage. It would be better to devote the brain to solving individual symptoms and to finding sources of advice and support.

 

[[Lu...]]

@[Ma...] thank you for the advice my friend, if anything I was going to ask him to to reinstate the klonopin as I believe that has a long half life as well. The no gurantee part scares me but I don’t think it can get much worse to be honest. I’ve reached my limit. If the reinstatement does not work I do fear that will be the end of me. But fingers crossed, I’m going to call him later 

[[ji...]]

@[Lu...]   i began to feel relief of many symtoms fairly soon, but i did continue to take the same dose for about a year afterwards.  it took a long time to feel ok to go out and do things again and i was very traumatized and afraid to begin my taper.  luckily my very slow taper has been good up until now.  im at the end of my taper and was recently slammed with new and horrible symptoms.   i was pretty much ready to jump, and i did updose unfourtunatly it has not helped and im a bit further from the end now than i was.     wishing you health and healing~~  jill

Edited April 4 by [ji...]

[[Ma...]]

10 minutes ago, [[L...] said:

klonopin as I believe that has a long half life as well.

Yes, I am dry tapering Klonopin, very doable.  It has a relatively long half life so chances of interdose WD are a lot lower.  

Edited April 4 by [Ma...]

[[Ma...]]

@[Lu...] Please call Jennifer Leigh again and join 1 of her groups. I believe they meet 3 times/week. Call her today as she accepts emergency calls.

Then call Baylissa.

Then call Angela Peacock.

Call everyone to get the support and reassurance you need right now.

I know this is terrifying and YOU know reinstating is not going to work for you. It hasn’t worked when you’ve been on it in the past & each subsequent withdrawal is worse. You know this. Stop. Breathe. Go for a walk. Breathe some more…

Reading posts here giving you permission to reinstate is also NOT going to work. 

Have you talked with your dr about Gabapentin or another therapy?

Hold on and just keep going. Keep going, 1 minute at a time, 1 day at a time. You WILL be okay. Better than okay!

Get on that phone Lucas!! ❤️‍🩹

Edited April 4 by [Ma...]

[[Id...]]

1 hour ago, [[L...] said:

ask him to to reinstate the klonopin

Hi @[Lu...], I’m sorry about what you are experiencing.

I am not the most knowledgeable person on here but a couple of things seem worth to share.
 

Klonopin, for some reason, seems to be the trickiest benzo to wd from, I can tell for personal experience that isn’t a lot to say; but I’m pretty sure it is pinpointed like that by Ashton and benzoinfo. This is why Diazepam is indicated like the long term one to switch to if you want to switch. This is if you don’t have avverse effects to it.

Keep also in mind that users here indicate 2/3 weeks to fully judge the effects on you, if you decide to reinstate please keep it in mind and procede slowly to a point that it’s bearable to have the relief (if you’ll have it) you can endure in this time frame; so you won’t overdue something that you don’t need and are bound to taper later. It seems the most sensible approach to avoid to add too much kindling.

I know I would have proceeded in this way after CT if I had the resources I was gifted on here 

@[ji...], thanks for such a useful testimony, it might not be the same for others, but surely was on point.

Edited April 4 by [Id...]
Word

[[Ma...]]

@[Lu...] Call those thoughts out and say, STOP. They are only SYMPTOMS. Remind yourself of that: symptom, symptom, symptom. Then distract yourself. Read Success Stories. Go for a walk. Play legos with your daughter. Take a cold shower. Breathe….

Go to Psychology Today and find a therapist that takes your insurance. Even if they don’t know about withdrawal you can educate them or just have a supportive ear.

If you really can’t cope call Jennifer 1 more time until you find a therapist.

You CAN do this. I know you can. I really believe in you, Lucas. We all do and most of us have experienced exactly what you’re going through.

Just this moment, just this breath…

Edited April 4 by [Ma...]

[[Lu...]]

14 minutes ago, [[I...] said:

Hi @[Lu...], I’m sorry about what you are experiencing.

I am not the most knowledgeable person on here but a couple of things seem worth to share.
 

Klonopin, for some reason, seems to be the trickiest benzo to wd from, I can tell for personal experience that isn’t a lot to say; but I’m pretty sure it is pinpointed like that by Ashton and benzoinfo. This is why Diazepam is indicated like the long term one to switch to if you want to switch. This is if you don’t have avverse effects to it.

Keep also in mind that users here indicate 2/3 weeks to fully judge the effects on you, if you decide to reinstate please keep it in mind and procede slowly to a point that it’s bearable to have the relief (if you’ll have it) you can endure in this time frame; so you won’t overdue something that you don’t need and are bound to taper later. It seems the most sensible approach to avoid to add too much kindling.

I know I would have proceeded in this way after CT if I had the resources I was gifted on here 

@[ji...], thanks for such a useful testimony, it might not be the same for others, but surely was on point.

Thank you for the sound advice! Means so much to me right now. I will certainly discuss this with my doctor, thank you so much again! 

[[Lu...]]

@[Ma...] how do I contact baylissa, I haven’t seen her sight yet I don’t think 

Edited April 4 by [Lu...]

[[Lu...]]

@[Ma...]i will I promise! I’m going to book an appointment with her now. Thank you so much for helping me, I can’t believe how bad this medicine has affected me!  you all on this sight are a god send 

[[Lu...]]

2 hours ago, [[j...] said:

@[Lu...]   i began to feel relief of many symtoms fairly soon, but i did continue to take the same dose for about a year afterwards.  it took a long time to feel ok to go out and do things again and i was very traumatized and afraid to begin my taper.  luckily my very slow taper has been good up until now.  im at the end of my taper and was recently slammed with new and horrible symptoms.   i was pretty much ready to jump, and i did updose unfourtunatly it has not helped and im a bit further from the end now than i was.     wishing you health and healing~~  jill

I am wishing you so much healing! Thank you sharing such a vulnerable story. I pray the rest of your taper goes smooth as butter  I am going to try and keep fighting without reinstating as I have fought so hard for these 50 days but I am going to take it day by day 🙏

[[ji...]]

@[Lu...]  thank you sweetie~~ please remember everything you are feeling and thinking are symptoms and they will subside with time.  this journey is a rough one and i also have to keep reminding myself that its a process & things will get better.  prayers of healing for you ~~jill

[[...]]

I was C/T at a detox hospital back in 2002. I had tried to get off, but there were no forums for support until Geraldine Burns, after my detox. They saved my life.

I reinstated after being off for 4 months. I had severe withdrawal. Akathisia, DP, DR, lost 20 lbs, couldn’t drive, etc. Every withdrawal symptom that you can imagine. Had to live with my Mom, as my husband at the time was traveling with his job and my son was in college. BTY, my son thought I would have to be put somewhere for the rest of my life. It was horrific.

The Dr that reinstated me was benzo wise and was furious that I had this experience. I was reinstated and got better within weeks. I started stabilizing and probably tapered too soon, but I did get better. I have had setbacks that have led to keep me from getting off, but I would rather live my life and function at age 70.

This is my experience. Hope this can help.

 

[[ns...]]

[[Ma...]]

@[...] Am I correct reading you reinstated 22 years ago and are still taking benzodiazepines?

[[...]]

5 hours ago, [[n...] said:

Hi @Dana

Have some questions 

What benzo did you reinstate? At what dose?

What was the dose you were taking on an ongoing basis?

How long were you taking it and did you jump?

I'm asking because so many who are questioning who are in serious withdrawal after either jumping or free from their benzo taper have considered whether they should reinstate. 

Everyone is different with many different situations and experiences. 

Your response could answer many questions for those considering reinstatement.

Thanks so much 

Ns

I reinstated Klonopin at 4mg. 

I tapered down to under 2 mg in 3 years. 

I had many setbacks that were out of my control. Ulcers, Caregiver, Antibiotics, Progesterone, brand changes, etc. Had to updose. I am still taking it. I have tried many times over the course of these years to taper down, but since I had a brutal C/T, I think my CNS is pretty sensitive. My stressors were not little ones. Major. I still tried to taper which was a mistake. I did a disservice to my CNS.

I was put on this because of an adverse reaction to an estradiol patch, not long after a needless TAH, BSO, I was in the hospital for 8 days and very ill. This was back in 1998. I started trying in 1999 to get off. No Dr knew nothing about tapering. I did not have any info on how to properly do it. That is why I thought a detox would know how. Big mistake.

Yes, we are different and some can get off and have minimal issues. Others have many obstacles which make very, very difficult to taper. I support anyone and everyone in whatever they choose to do. I will say that I have remained functional since my reinstatement, even though I have had some rough tapers that failed.

I hope this helps and I hope everyone here does what is best for them. 

That is my story and 

[[...]]

5 hours ago, [[M...] said:

@[...] Am I correct reading you reinstated 22 years ago and are still taking benzodiazepines?

You are correct. May try the dry micro taper, but I have a torn rotator cuff, so the taper is on hold. 

[[ns...]]

[[ns...]]

[[Re...]]

16 hours ago, [[L...] said:

Has ANYONE reinstated after 50 days after a CT and found relief .. this just keeps getting worse for me. I can’t handle much more. I don’t think it can get much worse so I don’t see a downside in reinstating and trying to stabilize then taper. Although I know most people say a month is the cut off. But I am so beyond desperate. Any advice would be wonderful thank you. Please Pray for me. ❤️

@[Lu...] I am glad to hear that you are going to fight on. You can do this, Lucas.

I have heard very few stories of successful reinstatement and more stories of people being stuck on higher doses with increased symptoms. I'm not trying to scare you, but it's crucial to make informed decisions and be aware of all possible outcomes.

As someone who was CTd, I understand the pain and the importance of making the right decisions. I took Seroquel during my withdrawal and experienced paradoxical effects because of the benzo injury. I trusted doctors and ended up prolonging my recovery process. I thought about reinstating many times but knew I could end up worse off or stuck on benzos and didn't want to risk it. I am so happy now that I did not reinstate.

If you decide to reinstate it and it doesn't work, what will you do? If you reinstate it and it does work, what's your plan? If you reinstate and have to taper with increased symptoms, can you handle it if it takes months or even years? Are you willing to be polydrugged with antidepressants, antipsychotics, other benzos, mood stabilizers, anti-seizure meds, etc. if the reinstatement isn't successful? This is all that doctors can offer you. They have nothing else in their tool kits. They may misdiagnose you and polydrug you. It happens all the time. Again, not saying this to scare you. I wish someone had warned me so I want to warn you.

Coaches Angela Peacock and Melissa Boutilier can both support you. Melissa's rates are very affordable. Doctors and therapists are not trained to deal with this, so consulting them may do more harm than good.  Angela and Melissa can help you discuss these scenarios practically. Angela has seen thousands of patients in your position and knows more about this than doctors do. Both Angela and Melissa were severe cases themselves and they have healed off of all neurotoxic drugs.

 

Edited April 5 by [Re...]