Benzo question

[[Ma...]]

Hi everyone I'm new to this site and the reason I'm here is because I'm feeling very lost. I've been off Valium since January 2011. I was taking Valium on an off for 2 years the last year I took it I was taking it mostly every day quite a bit sometimes. When I came off of it I went through horrific withdrawals that I don't think I've still totally recovered from. I actually started having withdrawal symptoms before I even stopped taking it. I never tapered off I just abruptly stopped and I didn't know this then but you weren't supposed to do that. I got into doing meditation and working out and that seemed to make things tolerable but I never went away. I cope with it for years and it was tolerable but it was hard. I never felt like I totally got back to being myself. I would have glimpses of it but that was about it. I got so used to having panic attacks I would just have them and no one would even know. I would like to not that I was not like this with the anxiety before I took Valium I had a little bit of anxiety but nothing that was ruining my life like it started to after I stopped taking Valium.

So as of 3 years ago I started suffering again with terrible anxiety, panic attacks, pain and it felt like I had just gone backwards and fell back into the same feeling I did when I first got off Valium. It's like my body just got tired of fighting and trying to cope with it. I don't know what to do I don't know if that's what's going on if that's what's causing my issues but a couple people have told me that it could be. This whole protracted benzo withdrawal thing that I've been hearing about sounds like something I could be dealing with but I'm not sure. Also I've heard that some people end up going back on benzos and then tapering off to fix this problem. But again I'm not 100% sure what to do here I'm just looking for some help feeling very lost about this whole thing. I'm not even sure if I'm posting in the right place but I'm just trying to reach out to get some help. I'd appreciate any help thank you.

[[Br...]]

Hello @[Ma...] and welcome to BenzoBuddies.  We're glad you found us.

I'm so sorry to hear what you've been going through.  A few questions come to mind: Are you taking any other medications or  started and stopped other medications since you quit Valium?  Has there been an increase in stress in the past few years? (Stressors such as illness, relationship issues, work stress, emotional upheaval, financial issues, etc.)

We have a group here for what members experiencing withdrawal symptoms who've been off  benzos for more than 18 months.  You may want to check it out: Long Haulers group

I believe you'll find information and support here that will help you.

 

[[Ma...]]

Thank you yeah it's been rough just got worse again over the last few years. I was taking CBD for a while but I stopped that in 2020. Which is funny cuz that's when a lot of my symptoms came back. I thought maybe the CBD was masking what symptoms I had but I wasn't 100% sure. The only other thing I take is a low dose of magnesium at night for sleep. There have been a lot of stressful things that are going on in my life the last 4 years. A lot of the stuff you mentioned. 

I appreciate your help I will check out that link.

[[Re...]]

@[Ma...] Welcome to BB. I hope you find the help here that you are seeking. This may be of interest to you: https://www.benzoinfo.com/medications-and-supplements/

 

[[Br...]]

14 hours ago, [[M...] said:

There have been a lot of stressful things that are going on in my life the last 4 years. A lot of the stuff you mentioned. 

 

We see people at all stages of recovery have an uptick in the severity of symptoms or the return of symptoms following an increase in stress.  For some of us our central nervous system remain sensitized for longer than others. I was a couple years post benzo and mostly recovered when I went through a challenging health crisis and had a significant surgery.  This led to a return of intense withdrawal symptoms which took several months to resolve.  I hope yours resolves soon. 

Please keep posting and reaching out for support.