14 Months off Benzos( withdrawals vs. anxiety)

[[Am...]]

Today Marks my 14 months off Benzodiazepines. 

I was on Colozepam from the age of 24 to 35. That is 11 years. My doctor just told all of their clients they would no longer be prescribing benzodiazepines to anyone. Basically, all of their patients were on their own. 
 

I weened myself off my medication with the last refill for about 6 months and then completely stopped January 18th 2023. The hardest year of my life. The first 8 -10 months were pretty scary. Around 10 months I really saw a difference. I am still healing, but most of my intense withdrawal symptoms are gone. 
 

The waves come and go but they are very light now and only last a very short while. I think that is just my anxiety. Sometimes, I will have some off days, but nothing like the complete pure panicked state I would experience the first year. 

I have healed quite a bit. I still feel things intensely. However, I just think this is how emotions feel(off benzodiazepines) 

I do have a difficult time distinguishing my anxiety vs withdrawals. No more heart palpitations that keep me up at night- that last for a while. The constant crashing noises of my heart beat when I layed down. That just went away about 2 months ago. 
 

I drink coffee, Which I don’t recommend to anyone 😂 However, it doesn’t bother me. I sleep pretty well on the weekends. Slept 10 hours on Saturday. (Not without waking up a few times)  Although, I do not take any medications nor do I drink any alcohol. 
The reason why, I want my brain and body to have a chance to heal itself. I don’t want to introduce anything that could tell my body to do something different. I feel like it knows how to heal itself naturally. 
 

I feel pretty good and optimistic regarding this process and what stage I am at. It wasn’t easy at all, but I am definitely getting better. I bet in another 8 months- I will be even better. 
 

We are healing. It just sucks when you can’t see it. 
 

-but you are 

[[Ma...]]

Hi asumingmiss,

I can understand what your going through. I love your postive attitude.  These drugs affect, changes, damages our cns & gut, it can take months to years to naturally heal. The healing/process needs/must to happen. We have to best navigate our mental, physical state, home, work or school life whatever it may be to minimize the many,many symptoms we feel. We become very super sensitive to everything. Stay positive👍

[[Am...]]

@[Ma...] Thanks for your your response. Question regarding navigating your withdrawals, do you have a tough time distinguishing what are withdrawals vs anxiety? I find this very difficult at times. 

[[Pi...]]

I have a hard time distinguishing wdl from anxiety issues.  I think this will continue till 24 months or so.  It has been 20 months since I jumped off.  

[[Ma...]]

On 19/03/2024 at 16:24, [[A...] said:

@[Ma...] Thanks for your your response. Question regarding navigating your withdrawals, do you have a tough time distinguishing what are withdrawals vs anxiety? I find this very difficult at times. 

Yes, In the beginning of my acute phase of withdrawal. Trying to distinguish. But now I don't try to figure out what is withdrawal or anxiety because it causes me to be in alot of resistance.  I changed my perspective to just allow all the symptoms to be there with acceptance, flow through the rapids until it subsides or calm down, without the fear. This was something I really had to work on by not putting focus on the symptoms but putting emotions on the feeling of unconditionally pure healthly & being whole. The only way through the pain is straight & forward. Still in working progress. 😀