Severe setback/kindling losing everything. Need prayers and hope.

[[th...]]

Hello BB,

I'm now firmly at rock bottom. You can read my initial story on my profile. I am injured from one week of use but kindled from my past benzo and alcohol use. 

I was doing so well at day 60 for 3 weeks. Then at day 80 I tried to baby steps reintroduce coffee and didn't realize I couldn't tolerate any gluten or sugar. This was the first setback into a wave. The following week was manageable but shitty and I was still working. The next weekend we went to a Japanese steakhouse. I asked the waiter about msg in the steak. He asked the manager who said no msg. They were dead wrong. That night it was like a grenade went off in my CNS. Unbearable neuropathy had me writhing on the floor all night long. I got some relief the following day but then had another food flare up from hot sauce and salad dressing that I had been eating every day the week prior. Then 2 days later I had another setback from a kombucha. Then finally on Friday I ate a big bowl of homemade bone broth and this was the worst fucking yet. The intensity of the neuropathy is indescribable. The next 5 days I was in a way worse state than my acute withdrawal with unending pins and needles, akathisia and black depression. On Sunday night I had to call my mom to come get me because I couldn't be in the house with my fiance and 8 month old. A day later I was in such desperation I called a friend's wife to beg for a rescue dose of ativan. I was not drug seeking just desperate. 2 days later after 7 nights of Unbearable pain I sat in the woods at my parents and wrote goodbye letters to my children, fiance and family. I had clonodine, trazadone and quetiapine as maintenance meds. I put them all in my mouth then immediately spit them out. I wanted to stayon this earth. When my parents came home I told them and begged them to let me die the pain was unbearable and went on for so long. Now I've been let go from my family business and asked to leave my parents house. A close friend has taken me in to their basement room.

I'm so very sick and devastated by this series of events. No one in my family believes me that I wasn't using benzos again and I don't blame them. I put my parents through absolute hell for a week the poor sweet folks. My family wants me in rehab but im so physically sick and sensitive to food i think it would be a terrible idea. Also extremely med sensitive. I was doing good and stable 2 weeks ago now my entire life has collapsed. How the hell can I come back from this. My nervous system is so brutally sensitized and activated its unbearable in my body. What the fuck. I miss my kids.

Please send love and support I don't know what to do

[[Ma...]]

I’m so extremely sorry for everything you’re going through. I know many others will soon respond to support you and help with suggestions.

Reinstating is a possibility just to stabilize. It might not work, it could take 6 weeks or it could help immediately-nobody knows.

Perhaps, if that’s the route you decide to try, go to the ER and explain the pain and desire to simply reinstate, stabilize and then desire to taper over a 9 month + period. Bringing the Ashton Manual with you proving your interest is based on protocol.

Sending you strength 🙏❤️‍🩹

[[...]]

@[th...], oh... I'm so sorry for you! Just want to send you my support and sympathy, lots of them

I don't have any suggestions apart from to wait the pain storm out. All benzo-induced things tend to subside but i do understand how unbearable it is to put up with PAIN. Hope others will advise you better. Just remember you're not alone and brighter days are bound to come!🌺🙏🏻

 

Edited March 17 by [...]

[[Ta...]]

What CAN you eat? I am now allergic to gluten, dairy, soy and many other things.I have a list of foods that don't trigger me: organic baked sweet potatoes, plain white rice, wild cod, asparagus, zucchini. And that's pretty much it. For me the problem is glutamate. Dr. Katherine Reid, Ph.d. has a book out about lowing glutamate, and eating a diet that doesn't trigger a CNS meltdown. Google her.

 

[[Bo...]]

Sending hugs… how are you doing? I’ve had a very similar tough road and want to check in. 
your family might find some of Dr Josef’s videos informing and helpful for them. He’s interviewed so many hurt by these meds and some ppl took their lives die to the distress. (Widows have spoken to Dr Josef). 
here is one with a psychiatrist who is prob one of top researchers on these meds in the world, Dr mark horowitz who just released the Maudsley deorescribing manual the first if it’s kind for drs to use to help the insanity of ripping people off these bc they have no idea how to taper and not taught.

also Jenifer Swanktowski on YouTube is a therapist going thru this and has a ton of helpful videos that do a great job of explaining this all and a few directly for family and friends.

https://m.youtube.com/@jenniferswanphd/videos

 

[[dj...]]

On 17/03/2024 at 07:18, [[M...] said:

I’m so extremely sorry for everything you’re going through. I know many others will soon respond to support you and help with suggestions.

Reinstating is a possibility just to stabilize. It might not work, it could take 6 weeks or it could help immediately-nobody knows.

Perhaps, if that’s the route you decide to try, go to the ER and explain the pain and desire to simply reinstate, stabilize and then desire to taper over a 9 month + period. Bringing the Ashton Manual with you proving your interest is based on protocol.

Sending you strength 🙏❤️‍🩹

I would suggest a mood stabilizer/anticonvulsant like Lamictal or Trileptal before reinstating.  
 

Trazodone and Quetiapine may actually make things worse.  Both are very active in the serotonin systems.  

[[...]]

@[th...] hey you are not alone . You are so strong to have spit those pills out . You need to give yourself more credit . You CAN and you WILL overcome this !!!

[[Ch...]]

On 18/03/2024 at 11:38, [[T...] said:

What CAN you eat? I am now allergic to gluten, dairy, soy and many other things.I have a list of foods that don't trigger me: organic baked sweet potatoes, plain white rice, wild cod, asparagus, zucchini. And that's pretty much it. For me the problem is glutamate. Dr. Katherine Reid, Ph.d. has a book out about lowing glutamate, and eating a diet that doesn't trigger a CNS meltdown. Google her.

I agree with you. When she said that her worst reaction yet was with bone broth, I immediately thought histamine/glutamate sensitivity/intolerance.

@[th...]

 

Quote

 

Histamine sensitivity is a symptom that may occur during benzodiazepine withdrawal.

In addition to these common benzo withdrawal side effects, there are some less common, unusual side effects. One rare, but concerning and uncomfortable complications of benzodiazepine withdrawal is histamine intolerance.

This side effect, which is related to the histamine receptor, histamine levels, and changes in the body caused by benzo withdrawal, is experienced as a new environmental allergy. Patients describe symptoms such as eye irritation, scratchy throat, skin rash, itching, and irritation, and other allergy-like symptoms.

In addition to allergy-like symptoms, histamine sensitivity can cause other symptoms as well. These may include headaches, upset stomach, gas, constipation, bloating, muscle aches, dizziness, and generalized pain.  https://drleeds.com/are-benzos-drugs-that-cause-histamine-intolerance-and-withdrawal-allergies/