Some help please Diazepam

[[Bl...]]

Hello 

I’m stabilising now on 10mg daily of diazepam . 
I was a binge user for 13 years along with alcohol, I oscillated between the two so every day I had either or both on board . I stupidly thought that having a day or so off the diazepam a week would negate dependency issues, this was before I knew about kindling 😳 now I’ve not only read about kindling I realise I’ve been in this cycle for at least two years now, and after trying CT last week I realise my dependency is real . 
So the 10mg in a morning is working to take WD symptoms away , yes I have morning anxiety now when I wake up, that pesky feeling of impending doom, so probably a 5mg on a night ,.. but I can manage on 10mg and get things done without the adrenaline and fight or flight hormone rushes . 
 

So I hovered over the packet today and split a 10 into two because I felt ok . My reasoning was why take more than I need , and, old habits die hard when you’ve been chasing WD’s 🙄

I am not craving alcohol on 10mg which is great 👍 . 
Because I’m weaning off both, when I drop the benzo I’m sure the alcohol needs will come back . 
Any advice from anyone who has done the two at the same time ? 
Also should I hold the 10mg for two weeks and titrate down from there ? 
What if the alcohol cravings hit hard ? 
 

Im relieved that the 10mg daily took care of those brain zaps and headaches and visual disturbances. 
 

Is it a rule of thumb that the lower dose you can manage on means it’s easier to come off ? 
Or, does it depend on the length of use ? 
Lots of questions, thanks everyone for your help . 

[[Le...]]

Exactly the same mate and been taking 5 to 10mg diazepam daily for 10 years and drinking days I didnt to calm down. A year ago i Cut out the drinking then took 0.5mg every 2 or 3 days and and now realise i was also kindling today after being in here. Tried going cold turkey last week for 13 days and on the 14th day thought I was dying so had to reinstate. Going to use Ashton method not over 2/3 months to taper down and off to get my drivers licence back

[[Co...]]

Hello @[Le...]. Welcome to BenzoBuddies.

[[Bl...]]

1 hour ago, [[L...] said:

Exactly the same mate and been taking 5 to 10mg diazepam daily for 10 years and drinking days I didnt to calm down. A year ago i Cut out the drinking then took 0.5mg every 2 or 3 days and and now realise i was also kindling today after being in here. Tried going cold turkey last week for 13 days and on the 14th day thought I was dying so had to reinstate. Going to use Ashton method not over 2/3 months to taper down and off to get my drivers licence back

Hi Lewis 

yes … the realisation of thinking you’ve got it all under control to suddenly looking into it all after things are getting more out of control … to know they ARE !!! 
We are similar. I was taking huge amounts on binges with drink at least once a week 🙄 ugh ! 
How are you feeling now Lewis on the 5mg a day ? Are you WD symptom free ? 
I’ve gone to a daily dose of as low as makes me symptom free to taper . 
How many years you been on this gravy train ? 
Do you get a script ? Or street bought? 
good luck 🤞 if you need a taper buddy pm me , we are starting this road together… it’s with trepidation I’ll be honest 

[[TH...]]

Hi guys,

I'm a previous binge user as well. Mine started end of 2020 and spiralled way out of control. I was mixing mine with alcohol and on rare occasions sometimes coke. Taking up to over 100mg a day at my worst. Plus these were street benzos aswell. I went to a private rehab in 22 and had the obvious tests done. Came back positive for Ketamine....I'd never touched that before. They were also trying to drop me 5mg a week!! I was like no chance! So I left, managed to get some money back thankfully. 

I started tapering on 20mg last march and now down to 4mg today. 

I found that benzos made me want to drink. Like get completely smashed which it did with the help of Valium. Haven't drunk now in over a year.

But with your tapering @[Bl...] if you seem content and can manage daily tasks on 10mg that's a good place to start, try to stabilise as much as you can. My personal drop was 2mg every 2 weeks, sometimes 3, till I got to 10mg then it was 1mg every 2-3 weeks. But I started to suffer so I started dropping 0.5 every 2 -3 weeks. Just based off my personal experience. 

I'm regards to the alcohol I'm not too sure. I'm hoping someone will chime in with their opinions and help you with that. 

[[Bl...]]

1 hour ago, [[T...] said:

Hi guys,

I'm a previous binge user as well. Mine started end of 2020 and spiralled way out of control. I was mixing mine with alcohol and on rare occasions sometimes coke. Taking up to over 100mg a day at my worst. Plus these were street benzos aswell. I went to a private rehab in 22 and had the obvious tests done. Came back positive for Ketamine....I'd never touched that before. They were also trying to drop me 5mg a week!! I was like no chance! So I left, managed to get some money back thankfully. 

I started tapering on 20mg last march and now down to 4mg today. 

I found that benzos made me want to drink. Like get completely smashed which it did with the help of Valium. Haven't drunk now in over a year.

But with your tapering @[Bl...] if you seem content and can manage daily tasks on 10mg that's a good place to start, try to stabilise as much as you can. My personal drop was 2mg every 2 weeks, sometimes 3, till I got to 10mg then it was 1mg every 2-3 weeks. But I started to suffer so I started dropping 0.5 every 2 -3 weeks. Just based off my personal experience. 

I'm regards to the alcohol I'm not too sure. I'm hoping someone will chime in with their opinions and help you with that. 

THFC thanks !!! 
That has helped a lot 🙏

I’m actually struggling with the 10mg on a night , bad head in the night and waking up with adrenalin rushes, nightmares and I woke this morning feeling pretty bad .

I will try and keep it at 10mg until I see the doctor next week . I like you have taken those huge amounts on binges and nail on head how one fuels the other with alcohol. I’m so happy for you that you found a way out . Can I ask the length of time that you were on that rollercoaster? 
 

Your Taper experience helps a lot, thank you 😊 

 When you dropped too quickly what was the first thing WD wise that would let you know ? 
So there was maybe Ketamine in the street Benzo’s 🤷🏻‍♀️.
I took those solidly for three years at least , and on and off for seven in among the prescribed. Who knows what we are ACTUALLY weaning off . 
But I think the last year of constant heavy prescription Diazapam use shows me that  maybe the street ones don’t addict you as much 🤔 or maybe I just ran out of chances and luck with them🤷🏻‍♀️

Thanks for your reply and your taper regime . And congratulations on quitting the booze 🥃 and good luck with the rest of your taper . May it end smoothly 🙏

Edited March 15 by [Bl...]
Typos

[[TH...]]

2 hours ago, [[B...] said:

THFC thanks !!! 
That has helped a lot 🙏

I’m actually struggling with the 10mg on a night , bad head in the night and waking up with adrenalin rushes, nightmares and I woke this morning feeling pretty bad .

I will try and keep it at 10mg until I see the doctor next week . I like you have taken those huge amounts on binges and nail on head how one fuels the other with alcohol. I’m so happy for you that you found a way out . Can I ask the length of time that you were on that rollercoaster? 
 

Your Taper experience helps a lot, thank you 😊 

 When you dropped too quickly what was the first thing WD wise that would let you know ? 
So there was maybe Ketamine in the street Benzo’s 🤷🏻‍♀️.
I took those solidly for three years at least , and on and off for seven in among the prescribed. Who knows what we are ACTUALLY weaning off . 
But I think the last year of constant heavy prescription Diazapam use shows me that  maybe the street ones don’t addict you as much 🤔 or maybe I just ran out of chances and luck with them🤷🏻‍♀️

Thanks for your reply and your taper regime . And congratulations on quitting the booze 🥃 and good luck with the rest of your taper . May it end smoothly 🙏

Glad it's helped! 

Yeah the adrenaline rushes are cortisol surges apparently. I only found that out the other day. Does it wake you up at like 3-4 in the morning? 

I started the binge end of 2020 due to stress of work at the time. Carried on till around July 2022. That was when I thought right I need off. I was so ignorant and blind to what this medication does long term but didn't give a shit at the time...just loved the feeling. Made me so confident, care free, happy. But now I'm regretting it massively. Just wish I'd researched it more before I started. 

Well I did an Ashton manual taper end of 2022 which I dropped too quickly and ended up having entire body numbness which made me panic. Ended up taking 5mg and was fine half hour later. This was prescription Valium. 

The first symptoms have been mainly chest related. I've had ecgs, scans, blood tests and all seems fine. But I am struggling with heart palpitations and chest tightness. Constant fear at the moment, it's nasty. Had paramedics out like 4 times in the last year or so. But everyone is different so I do hope you manage to push through your taper and get off without too much trouble. 

I think the street ones are not consistent in their milligrammes. Plus laced with other things as I found out. I was also taking tramadol and pregablin alongside the benzos...just a nightmare. Biggest mistake I've ever made. But we live and learn. 

Thank you 😊 I wish you luck in your journey. My inbox is always open if you need someone to chat too. I found a lot of close family don't understand much about what we're going through. So talking to like-minded people is easier and nicer. All I get is...'its all in your head'. Doesn't really help lol! 

[[Bl...]]

6 hours ago, [[T...] said:

Glad it's helped! 

Yeah the adrenaline rushes are cortisol surges apparently. I only found that out the other day. Does it wake you up at like 3-4 in the morning? 

I started the binge end of 2020 due to stress of work at the time. Carried on till around July 2022. That was when I thought right I need off. I was so ignorant and blind to what this medication does long term but didn't give a shit at the time...just loved the feeling. Made me so confident, care free, happy. But now I'm regretting it massively. Just wish I'd researched it more before I started. 

Well I did an Ashton manual taper end of 2022 which I dropped too quickly and ended up having entire body numbness which made me panic. Ended up taking 5mg and was fine half hour later. This was prescription Valium. 

The first symptoms have been mainly chest related. I've had ecgs, scans, blood tests and all seems fine. But I am struggling with heart palpitations and chest tightness. Constant fear at the moment, it's nasty. Had paramedics out like 4 times in the last year or so. But everyone is different so I do hope you manage to push through your taper and get off without too much trouble. 

I think the street ones are not consistent in their milligrammes. Plus laced with other things as I found out. I was also taking tramadol and pregablin alongside the benzos...just a nightmare. Biggest mistake I've ever made. But we live and learn. 

Thank you 😊 I wish you luck in your journey. My inbox is always open if you need someone to chat too. I found a lot of close family don't understand much about what we're going through. So talking to like-minded people is easier and nicer. All I get is...'it’s all in your head'. Doesn't really help lol! 

Hi 👋 

Yes , your story does help , having somebody that understands your situation always helps !!! 

With myself I’m just not convinced they are cortisol rushes . The reason being is I have no dawn phenomena, at all . I’ve had four short synacthen  tests for Addisons because my cortisol is zilch on morning and even afternoon blood draws , bottom of the range . I know the morning cortisol dump at dawn does not happen with me because I don’t need any rise in basal insulin needs …. It took years of Dawn comas for my diabetic team and an insulin pump to work that one out, I’m childhood Type 1 Diabetic . 
So, I think when your adrenals are poor like mine … it comes straight from the brain 🤔 it’s neurological and it happens all night , I wear out gum shields in a month from clamping and grinding my jaws, movie like lucid dreams all night , where I wake up and pick straight back up on them . I’m in an out of what i sometimes think could be a psychosis trying to process the day before . But I wake up with a huge stone in my stomach like a death as happened every night . I don’t think they are hormonal , I think it’s pure neurotransmitter, or, neurological. 
 

Oh the good times !! Yes 🙌 everything is fun … until it’s not . I hear you , who wants to know the downside when you are only feeling the good side . Hindsight is something I wish we were all born with. If wishes were horses THFC we’d all be Jockeys 🤷🏻‍♀️ I’d have galloped away from the Benzo’s as fast as I could , and I’ve done most drugs recreationally with not one single hook! 
anyhoo …. Here we are . 
 

Im interested in your pregabalin experience? I had this drug prescribed for herniated discs and it just stopped my benzo use !! I was prescribed high doses from the bat … but I didn’t like it, and couldn’t wait to get off it . 
 

I think that chest pain and fear you’ve caught is a benzo side effect , but on the Benzo’s I’ve had costochodritis twice …. Chest ligament pulls which can feel like angina , maybe the muscle relaxation all the time allows for ligaments to stretch 🤷🏻‍♀️ if all is looking good on ECG then you must always remember that it is a benzo side effect and not your heart , believe me I know , I was born with a genetic heart condition and those SHOW UP. 
What you have is a brain problem, and it IS transient . So when those chest things happen , go for a walk, take a bath , stroke a puppy , watch a beautiful documentary or film … it’s transient , it will pass . 
 

I wish I’d have stayed on the streets product of benzo rather than big pharma’s … again … in hindsight . Not nearly as dangerous.. but then we know they are the biggest pusher of all !!! They have the most to make ! 

I am thankful to reached out . Your taper regime has given me food for thought from someone in a similar position. Likewise , drop me a line anytime . And I thank you for offering me the same solace in what will most probably be a storm . 
Striving for better days the both of us. X

[[ba...]]

I know this is a late response but I just wanted to add that pregablin intensified benzos a lot for me. I need less.