is it common for old traumas, feelings, griefs to come up alot

[[bu...]]

Hi all, im wondering if other go through this too. I have so much of my past crap come up and i feel it so strongly and sadly. I do my best to allow all these feelings and not push them down. It's just strange as i came to peace with them and now its like they are all raw again.  Maybe its more healing or just a benzo withdrawal thing. Would love to hear from you all

xx

[[...]]

I have that. I think using benzos made us kind of numb. Let the pain flow. Cry. Its okay.

[[wi...]]

Oh, hell yes. Its brutal. It changes form for me anywhere from intrusive thoughts or looping ocd.

either way its been a very difficult issue as it plays on an already fragile mind in wd.

Years of therapy I had to help me integrate and overcome old wounds only for them to be set loose again mentally. 
 

our subconscious has been let loose in wd.

deep fears and insecurities run rampant.

 

[[WU...]]

1 hour ago, [[w...] said:

our subconscious has been let loose in wd

Its as though the subconscious is producing the symptoms!

[[PE...]]

Yes. And the grief over who I was is always there

[[kn...]]

Ruminating thoughts have been a huge topic of my therapy sessions for years.  Although the  constant discomfort of WD has come to the point that the symptoms alone dominate my thoughts most of the time, my ruminating brain keeps asking pitying questions like:  Why me?  Why did I ever take this stuff in the first place?  Everyone else is living a normal life, why has this happened, etc. etc.  The only solution for me is distraction.  I try to keep moving from activity to activity during the day.  I always have a book in progress.  I force myself to focus only on positive stuff.  Do. Not.  Watch.  The.  News.  Be careful when it comes podcasts, toxic people and social media that may bring you down  Best wishes.  Hope this helps at least a little.

[[Ka...]]

@[bu...] yes! Creep up on us when we least expect it. Probably pretty normal & the benzo effect seems to unfurl bits of our past. Like all these WD symptoms hopefully it’ll subside. Wishing you well. 

[[Ti...]]

Yes! It’s all coming up for a reason. Once you figure out why, process it and find closure, it goes away. It’s like an unraveling or unveiling. A painful one, but necessary for healing I do believe. Exhausting. 

[[Ta...]]

2 hours ago, [[k...] said:

Ruminating thoughts have been a huge topic of my therapy sessions for years.  Although the  constant discomfort of WD has come to the point that the symptoms alone dominate my thoughts most of the time, my ruminating brain keeps asking pitying questions like:  Why me?  Why did I ever take this stuff in the first place?  Everyone else is living a normal life, why has this happened, etc. etc.  The only solution for me is distraction.  I try to keep moving from activity to activity during the day.  I always have a book in progress.  I force myself to focus only on positive stuff.  Do. Not.  Watch.  The.  News.  Be careful when it comes podcasts, toxic people and social media that may bring you down  Best wishes.  Hope this helps at least a little.

I didn't watch the news for many months, and I could barely leave the house. I had no idea what was going on in the world. But, I think that I was much better off and feeling much better than I am now. Maybe I should go back to closing myself off from the world because lately I feel awful!

[[kn...]]

The US news does horrible things to my outlook on life, both the political stuff and the insane number of mass shootings that keep on keeping on.  The latter make me paranoid of going to malls, airports, and any type of large gathering.  And society at large is supposedly normal???  Give me a break.  I know I'm sounding pretty hostile here, but even if my WD was complete and I was symptom free, I really don't know if I'd change my behavior that much at all.  I, too, need to stay in at times.  With the darkness and weather at this time of the year, it's just too dreary.  But when I do need a break outside, I usually layer up and drive to a couple of parks around here where there are people, but not just hordes of them.  I have to use a cane these days; benzo WD has left my knees swollen and leg muscles weak.  But I can still walk the paths and appreciate the scenery, fresh air and the wildlife that has stuck around over the winter.  I have to say that I am dreading the family reunions that are looming this summer.  Our kids are grown.  We have grandchildren who are active, wild and still amazingly cute, but the traveling it takes, either by car or plane, long waits at ferry terminals and interrupted sleep are too much for me these days.  And, on top of it all, everyone wants to know what's wrong with me.  I've tried to explain, but often feel as though I'm being judged by my own kids for my actions that led to all of this.  

[[or...]]

21 hours ago, [[b...] said:

Hi all, im wondering if other go through this too. I have so much of my past crap come up and i feel it so strongly and sadly. I do my best to allow all these feelings and not push them down. It's just strange as i came to peace with them and now its like they are all raw again.  Maybe its more healing or just a benzo withdrawal thing. Would love to hear from you all

xx

I have it too, not as bad as it was on many sleepless nights.  It's getting less and less, and I generally cope better with outside anxiety-causing situations, like news, and people I could never cope with before.

Timing is different for everyone, but I do believe I am starting to heal, even just one year into my taper, which could be another year as I'm just 55% down.  I don't have unreasonable expectations, most of the time because I look at my history of taking a benzo, and it's just logical it will take time, and I don't know how much.

Those regrets, sad memories, are all just symptoms for me.  Day by day, night by night, things are getting better, oregonlady My Taper History

PS I know I take baby-steps, but I want quality of life now, as much as I can get.  Not wait and expect it til after I jump

PSS really, you and I, and others, could look at it like our brains are rebooting so all those memories might be necessary in the reboot.  We can know we have memories, which include good ones as well

Edited March 11 by [or...]

[[Sw...]]

Absolutely. I deal with this and it’s not fun. I seem to cycle every two weeks. It feels like there is a clock somewhere inside me set to go off on hours I can’t anticipate or expect… and it coils up old emotions for me. Honestly I have had a few really difficult and dark realizations that I had kept buried inside me that have been allowed to come to the surface. I’ve been at a loss for how to handle them. I need help to process them. I promise it will get better. Let your body “speak” as woo woo as that sounds, and listen… best of luck 

[[Ad...]]

I seem to have something similar. It seems as if my brain all by itself is reviewing my life from the beginning. There are quite a few happy memories that are nice to relive, but there are also some things I'd rather forget. I seem to be much more emotional than before I began tapering but I know that's to be expected because the drugs make you numb to things. Like yesterday, we had to put our poor old dog to sleep. I can't stop crying and I think I'm much worse than when this happened before and I was on the clonazepam. In a way though I feel like I'm reacting appropriately instead of being in a numb haze. And I also see it as positive progress. But I'm a bit afraid of being too emotional when I finally make the jump.