Last ditch effort (formally Sunflower1819)

[Guest [...]]

Things are still BAD. Trying a different approach, I cannot disclose what it is as I do not want negative comments, bubble bursts or put downs of approach (I am no stranger to this sadly). 

This is a last ditch effort to get my life back, my very last option. 

[[Pa...]]

Hello @[Sp...], welcome to BenzoBuddies,

I'm sorry to hear things are bad and sorry to hear you expect negative comments or put downs, we do our best to be kind to everyone and to allow them to choose their own path.

How can we help you?

@[Pa...]

[[Ma...]]

Can you please DM me your approach? I, too, am at my wits end.

I PROMISE-no negativity from me. PROMISE!

[Guest [...]]

Mary1, will do.

I am sad and anxious all the time, constant. My mental health is not good. I see no end in site and I am scared all the time. The ruminating thoughts and worries are taking over my whole body. Chronic illness is no joke. I am turning 39 next week and am fearful of my own bday, a day I used to love and be excited about. The last 5 years everything took a giant 180.

Hoping and praying this new approach helps me. My 40's cannot be like this too.

[[Ma...]]

I hear you. My birthday is next week too and I just had to decline an invitation to the beach to celebrate with my most favorite people. For the 4th year in a row. 🥹

Either way, let me be the 1st to wish you HAPPY BIRTHDAY 🎊🎂🎉! Congratulations on 1 more year behind you and a MUCH better year ahead! 🎈

[Guest [...]]

Thank you but I have anxiety attacks when someone wishes me Happy Birthday now. I don't believe it's worth a celebration anymore, life isnt.  I'll never understand it. I joked to my mom if I could file a wrongful life lawsuit against her. Every year I'm getting worse and worse.

 

[[Nu...]]

Happy (almost) bday to you two!

@[Sp...] -- I started withdrawal at 36 and currently 42. It sucks to spend these years going through this. Hoping you find the ability to stay strong -- this isn't the end of the road for us. We have better days ahead.

[[Ri...]]

6 hours ago, [[S...] said:

Things are still BAD. Trying a different approach, I cannot disclose what it is as I do not want negative comments, bubble bursts or put downs of approach (I am no stranger to this sadly). 

This is a last ditch effort to get my life back, my very last option. 

As a human being you’re suppose to screw up and fail at things at different ends of the spectrum. Don’t be hard on yourself. Life is a boot camp.

[Guest [...]]

That does nothing for me, sorry no offense. Correction, other people are allowed to screw up, not me. I don't go out anymore I have severe fear of people and being ridiculed and don't feel safe around many.

[Guest [...]]

Just got into a huge fight with my mother.  Another family member is really in bad shape and nobody wants to do anything except enable this person (no this person isn't sick or disabled, absolutely none of that) and I said how horrifying this is to witness and allow, because I care....it got very ugly from there. I guess working hard to better my life means nothing, I can do it being ill but this person cannot and must be protected?.  Ok then. Again I AM the bad one. 

They do not need to worry about me anymore, I know I am a horrible person, I know. Her former coworker who's around my age is getting married next November, this girl's mom passed away when she was young, my mom can step in because she knows she'll never have that with me. Sorry I am sick and pointing out truths. I'm mourning daily the life I wanted, not perfect but certainly not this life, filled with pain and sickness but I am the bad one. Ok got it, good to know.

[[Ma...]]

What is your taper story hun ? What were you on how long how much ? Ps I’m the same age and just starting my process and been crippled by fear 

[[Bu...]]

I’m sorry you feel so bad, it’s not fair, none of this is fair. Just know your body has the capacity to heal and be well again. It’s designed to get better. Nurture your self and never forget that you matter. Your heart and soul matter. You’re here for a reason and not by mistake. Keeping holding on and it will pass. There is hope. You are loved and you are appreciated ❤️

[Guest [...]]

There are plenty of mistakes in life, no reasons. I am starting to think love doesn't matter and never will, it's acceptance that trumps love in my eyes.  I was also told my dad is having health problems (I guess it's my fault too) things that I never knew and he's getting his "documents" ready.  Good luck to them I am not needed, my deadbeat brother can figure it out and help out for a change.