Thoughts on updosing ?

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Last microtapered to .25 mg of K .  Microtapered from .50 over a space of about a year, dropping 2-3 mg a week .  No problems until.25 mg. Been holding since December last year because real problems with emotional blunting and DP.  Wondering if I should wait this out longer or go up in dose?  

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I don’t know how to edit yet- let me expand****
it hasn’t been quite 3 months yet since I’ve been holding but my improvements have not been very significant as I have observed with my previous upsets….

[[je...]]

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Happy to say :/, or not say but yes .  These are my worst- But functional.  It’s hell on earth to work and fake this …

[[je...]]

If you are functional then I would suggest you don’t updose. I have these symptoms as well and I understand how difficult it can be. But if it doesn’t affect your functionality it’s unlikely to get better by updosing, and I think after holding for two months you should be stable enough to continue tapering. 
 

You said it took a year to go from 0.5 to 0.25mg which is a very reasonable taper. 

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Yes- I did - one exception I forgot to mention, I did go a little faster the last 2 weeks to get to .25mg .  Maybe the cuts caught up with me ?  Also adding- I have a lot of dizziness.  I probably didn’t mention it as I have felt this many times before during setbacks .  Sorry for any confusion.  I’m terrified to keep tapering at the moment.  Afraid the DP/ crap will get worse if I start tapering again?.  I‘be always waited till it was mostly gone completely, along with the emotional blunting.  🙏🏻

[[je...]]

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I appreciate your concern and words of encouragement!❤️- I also have entertained the thought of just pressing on , so thankful to have this peer support group.  Truly a blessing as I actually feel less alone in this whole mess!! 

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Jelly baby- I’ve read your history… are you nearly recovered?  You mention that you have continued to taper with DP as well ?  How did you do ? 

Edited March 1 by [...]

[[je...]]

I know it can be very unsettling. The DP especially in social situations was tough for me. I was at a work meeting once and it felt like an out of body experience. I struggled to participate and follow the conversation because I was so stressed out by “watching myself”. It felt like someone else was living in my body. 
 

For me what helped was to try and manage my anxiety around the situation. Anxiety made it worse. I still have the emotional blunting.  There are many days where I just have no emotions. I don’t feel happy or sad. I have other physical symptoms too which are a lot more overwhelming so in a way I don’t think about this too much. 

[[je...]]

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That’s wonderful!  Thank you so much for sharing and your thoughts,  I am hopeful at the least to hear your DP is less and less even thru your taper.  Dizziness is my main physical symptom but manageable.  I don’t think I could handle much more . I know you’re busy , helping out here with so many people.  Thanks for your time 

[[je...]]

I hope it gets better soon. I see you have a complicated history with benzo's and the starting and stopping might contribute to your symptoms, but I think you've done really well in managing your symptoms.

[[Re...]]

Updosing doesn't equate to reduction in symptoms. Updosing is risky. You could end up on higher dose with the same or worse symptoms. It is a wildcard to updose. Are you driking enough water and eating enough food? Dizziness can come from that and also if you are holding your head in certain ways it can cause it or exacerbate it.

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Thanks for the reminder on eating - you’re right.  I don’t think I am eating enough at times.  Waiting more to “feel” hungry rather than just eating  on a normal schedule.  Body sensations like that are blunted.

[[ji...]]

i was also down to the same amount of k as you.  maybe a bit lower, and recently was hit with a wave like ive never experienced before.   all my sysmtoms are pysical ones with some very frightning new ones.  i updosed  and i feel no different.  i wish now that i just stayed where i was because i dont think it would have been any worse.  i thought i must have healed so much during my taper because things were really great.  but this is really very scary.  ive been trying to read some of dr jennifer leighs  blogs when i can.  i went from feeling amazing for the last 2 years to complete terror.     health & healing to you ~jill

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this is just me, but it really seems like when I'm about ready to updose, but decide to wait a little longer, it's not much longer I have to wait.  That's happened a few times.  I wonder how much is psychological because when I make it another day, I feel sort of empowered and maybe an attitude change pushes me on.  But just when it seems I can't go on, things get better if I stick with it, and I know it's all of our greatest hope to be done and over the benzos, oregonlady PS if nothing else, I've learned I can handle more than I ever thought.

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Thanks ! I’ve read your story:). I’m still gonna’ hold off.

🙏🏻

[[Ta...]]

It seems like maybe that little bit of "hurrying up" at the end might of put a bit of strain on the brain. I did that several times, too. I just wanted so badly to get to a certain "number," instead of paying close attention to how the "hurry" was affecting my brain. I got down to .125 of Ativan, and tried to drop to .1125, and all hell broke loose! Many people here have said that things get more difficult the lower you go, and for me that is certainly true. I dropped too much, too fast. So, I've been at .375 for a few months now, and I've completely stopped chasing after numbers, and that's okay. I just take things one day at a time, and sometimes one minute at a time.

Wishing you all the best!

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So good to hear a familiar experience.  I do think I rushed, even a little bit - .  Thank-you for sharing 

[[Pa...]]

6 hours ago, [[j...] said:

i was also down to the same amount of k as you.  maybe a bit lower, and recently was hit with a wave like ive never experienced before.   all my sysmtoms are pysical ones with some very frightning new ones.  i updosed  and i feel no different.  i wish now that i just stayed where i was because i dont think it would have been any worse.  i thought i must have healed so much during my taper because things were really great.  but this is really very scary.  ive been trying to read some of dr jennifer leighs  blogs when i can.  i went from feeling amazing for the last 2 years to complete terror.     health & healing to you ~jill

Jill,

I am also going through a period where my taper has gone from manageable -to trying to survive mode-due to significant physical symptoms. I’m at .28mg K. It’s tough when it hits like a freight train. 
Hang in there - I hope you get some relief soon. 

P

[[ji...]]

@[Pa...] thank you.  wishing you health & healing as well ~~jill

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An Update ****
I did not updose from .25 mg of K .  I split my dose one time a week ago , 1/2 in morning, 1/2 at night.  It made me feel even “spacier” perhaps a bit more calm . But not normal.  I didn’t continue.  Just taking full dose at night.  I have noticed slightly…. Feeling a bit more confident that my emotions are slowly coming back on line .  In the past , stabilizing seemed to happen much quicker, now it happens every 2 weeks or so I appear to “feel” a little bit more. Holding now almost 3 months.  Still scared, but hopeful.

Edited March 13 by [...]
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