I feel almost paralyzed 14 months .

[[ma...]]

I have had some days so indescribeable terrible . I think it scared me and took the courage away . So now i am still more or less in bed , as if i dont dare to start function again . With the normal  things i used to do . House cleaning and so on . Completely stopped . And that scares me .

[[...]]

29 minutes ago, [[m...] said:

I have had some days so indescribeable terrible . I think it scared me and took the courage away . So now i am still more or less in bed , as if i dont dare to start function again . With the normal  things i used to do . House cleaning and so on . Completely stopped . And that scares me .

@[ma...], you know i think i understand you here. As for me, apart from the fact that it's still really hard sometimes, i find it difficult to believe that i actually can do things, which i can). And especially after bad days. A few months ago i just "sat out" the next few days doing nothing. Was scared too that i wouldn't do anything anymore, but i was wrong. Is it similar? Sure you'll go on doing things and your courage will be back, guess, sooner than you think. The lack of courage might be a symptom in itself. I think it is. Good luck to you!)🙂

Edited February 29 by [...]

[[ma...]]

Yes , the panic i get as now when i dont do absolutely nothing after those days , is that i am scared . Thinking now it happened . It stopped , i might never be able to take care of myself and my house again and die or end up in a nursinghome .

[[ma...]]

Yes that i will never do anything anymore in my life . And as if i hold my breath for something auful to happen again

[[ma...]]

I am so terrified that that horrible feeling i had come  back any minute

[[...]]

10 minutes ago, [[m...] said:

And as if i hold my breath for something auful to happen again

@[ma...], can you actually sit up or stand up? Can you eat? How do you feel right now? Weak, painful or what? I still think the fear is just a symptom and you need to wait it out.

And i know the feeling... Of impending doom. Hard, yes.

[[...]]

12 minutes ago, [[m...] said:

I am so terrified that that horrible feeling i had come  back any minute

This horrible feeling is just a symptom. I'm sure. It is just bound to disappear whether you believe it or no, are afraid or not!

[[ma...]]

I can all that , even walk . Its just that inner panic.

Thank you Kate for the words . It helped a lot

[[ma...]]

Impending doom . Yes that was the name  of the feeling .

[[...]]

22 minutes ago, [[m...] said:

I can all that , even walk . Its just that inner panic.

Thank you Kate for the words . It helped a lot

@[ma...], i'm very glad it helped!) Don't panic over the panic caused by wd. This panic is supposed to be healing and so it's a kind of good panic. I try not to, although it used to be hard at first)

[[ma...]]

How far out are you Kate . And did you taper ?

[[...]]

24 minutes ago, [[m...] said:

How far out are you Kate . And did you taper ?

I'm 11 and something months off. Yes, i tapered for 6 months. But my withdrawal began much earlier than actual tapering.

What about you, @[ma...]?

[[ma...]]

I am 14 months off . I had a 2-3 weeks taper only . 

[[ma...]]

@[...] Thats why i got it hard i think . I actually got worse about 9 months . And a peak recently . 

[[...]]

23 minutes ago, [[m...] said:

@[...] That's why i got it hard i think . I actually got worse about 9 months . And a peak recently . 

Yes, i think that's exactly why. Too short a taper. I think it was like cold turkey. But you did feel better for a time,yes? I guess everything is the way it should be and certainly you're healing but at your own pace. Hope you'll perceive the healing distinctly in no time!) And if not, it will come a bit later☀️

[[Jo...]]

I know I have only been off temazepam for three months and my situation is not yours. I know I kept having the impending doom feeling and high anxiety but that has pretty much subsided. The only thing that has stuck around with me right now is insomnia. I have embraced that I have that and i feel like that has helped me out a lot. My question for you is have you got your hormones checked. I did a dutch panel and did adrenal test and found out that my hormones were off specifically DHEA and I was also very low in Vitamin D. My Drs prescribed me Vitamin D 10,000 IU daily to get my levels back up. It has helped me out a lot like a lot, a lot regarding my anxiety and depression. I am also going to be trying NAD+ IV therapy here in the next couple of weeks because it is something that we get depleted of while we are sleep deprived and being on these drugs. I have heard amazing results from people who have tried it. The clinic I am going to said they were able to detox someone who was xanax for 15 years and they had him sleeping normally by day 4 of the 10 day treatment. Its costly but i am advocate that investing in yourself and your health is a good investment. Before I do the IV treatment I am going to be doing daily NAD+ nasal spray treatment to prep my body and to see how my bady reacts to it. I am hoping that It will do amazing things. I dont know if you have heard or tried these things or not so I figured id share them. One thing that I embrace from what I learned when I was in the military is we need to embrace being comfortable being uncomfortable. When we feel like we don't have the courage to do something that is ok but still do it anyway. When we havent slept for days we still need to get up and go outside and walk get that sunlight on our face even if we cant open our eyes or just feel completely dead, weak, completely exhausted we have to keep going. Quitting is never an option. I hope your conditions let up soon and you hit another window.

[[Ma...]]

Can you change zip codes and move from your bed to the couch? Bring your bed pillow with you.

Open a window and let fresh air in…

Take a warm bubble bath and visualize being at the beach, the warm sun soothing your aching body…

Light a candle and keep your lights dim…

Create a healing space, an at home spa…

Put in your favorite band tee shirt and fluffy slippers…

Make a playlist or listen to music that takes you away…

Listen to a 3 minute guided meditation on Insight Timer…

Above all: Breathe. Just BREATHE!

As I have said to you before, Just this breath, Just this moment…

We need to get you out of your head! You have to master your thoughts somehow. Observe them, float above them, allow them without assigning any emotion to them. Thoughts, by design, are neutral-it’s what you assign to them that causes distress, panic, doom.

You are going through an incredibly difficult period. I know you are absolutely exhausted and terrified but change is inevitable. It’s the law of the universe. 

Try to sit with it-just for today. Tomorrow will take care of itself. Today is all you need to manage, nothing more.

So let’s try to reframe this. You have a 100% track record, 100% <!!!> of making it through absolutely everything that has been thrown at you and today will be no different.

Remember to be kind to yourself and allow yourself grace. Rest. Float. Breathe. 🙏

 

 

Edited February 29 by [Ma...]

[[Jo...]]

How long were you on Benzos?

 

[[ma...]]

[[ma...]]

I was on and off for about 30 years i think . A 8 year period nothing .And i have abused it many times to be honest @[Jo...]

[[ma...]]

Zip code was funny .  @[Ma...]

[[Ma...]]

Did you laugh @[ma...]?? 😂

Sometimes I shake my head and laugh because all of this is absurd.

You are incredibly strong. I know you didn’t ask to be strong, but you ARE.

Soon, nothing will phase you. Nothing. And won’t that be glorious?

Keep going. Keep breathing. 💕

[[ma...]]

@[Ma...] your words and you are fantastic . Thank you !!!! I can't believe how lucky i am to hear all this 

[[zu...]]

That impending doom is rough.  I am keeping track of it on a piece of paper.  Day 6 and it seems to have ramped up today.  Yesterday felt better. 

[[ma...]]