Reinstatement failed or part success? What now?

[[ca...]]

Hi,

i was reinstated by an id*ot doctor on a way too high dose of Valium (from 1mg of Ativan CT to 40mg of Diazepam). That was on February 9th. I am not down at 30mg after grinding my teeth and just not giving too much f*ck about what happens as I am having terrible mental health symptoms since reinstatement. Some physical symptoms obviously lessened or healed, but it’s most likely temporary.

I have been on 30mg for 3 days now and even though I have some muscle ache and twitching, I am tempted to grind my teeth and go down again as fast as possible as I know I will not stabilize. I won’t. I was sent in c/t after taking an antibiotic and nothing has been the same still.

I know there is no perfect answers, and I know it is my decision, but I want this poison out of me asap. I however don’t want to go back to full body akathesia and derealization. But I just want these suicidal ideation and mental pain to stop.

[[...]]

I updosed to 30 mg too.

I want to taper but I will give my brain time in this dose.

Some of us hold, some don't.

But you should give your brain a few weeks, in my opinion.

[[ca...]]

I started having internal tremors again at 30mg now, which I didn’t have at all anymore a few days ago. Wondering if I should updose back to 35 or 40 and give it more time. I am crying so bad.

[[...]]

1 hour ago, [[c...] said:

Unter 30 mg bekam ich jetzt wieder inneres Zittern, das ich vor ein paar Tagen überhaupt nicht mehr hatte. Ich frage mich, ob ich wieder auf 35 oder 40 hochdosieren und dem Ganzen mehr Zeit geben sollte. Ich weine so sehr.

My doc said I could go to 40 mg.

But. Always think of the Long way down.

I will try to handle 30 mg until tolerance makes me need to taper.

[[...]]

We can stay in contact if you want because we have the same dose to handle.

[[je...]]

If it were me I would not updose. I think you made a wise decision to rapid taper some of this huge dose when you have been reinstated not long ago. 

[[ap...]]

Do not reinstate or update, it won't help you, you just have to do it again. Remember, everybody heals, it's time. 

[[ap...]]

I was on 60mg of V. and was rapidly tapered and suffered a seizure and hospitalised with swelling on the brain, they updated me by 10mg it made no difference and added another year on my taper. So you just have to push through

[[ca...]]

What makes me upset is that I went CT. Not knowing what was going on. And because of medication interaction. It would have already been three months now and I know things would be better. And I hesitated before reinstating. Even asked the doctor for alternatives while I heal (propranolol, etc.), he said no and reinstated me on 30mg. A few days later I obviously still had symptoms but instead of just stopping things there, he updosed me to 40mg. I am back at 30mg but had less dark thoughts on cold Turkey than right now at 30mg.. this drug is hell.

[[je...]]

8 hours ago, [[a...] said:

Do not reinstate or update, it won't help you, you just have to do it again. Remember, everybody heals, it's time. 

Hi @[ap...]

You are welcome to make suggestions or  give advice but we don’t instruct members on what they should or shouldn’t do. 
 

 

Please adopt a non-prescriptive writing style. Relating your experiences, stating options, or posting suggestions of what other members might do are all welcome. However, advising members of what they should or must do is against the ethos of the BenzoBuddies Community.

Guidelines

 

[[PE...]]

Try not to go up and down in dose to much as your brain takes time to adapt.

I would stay on 30mg for some time and wait for the adaption. You can always up the dose later if it wont happen.

i was also on diazepam, mostly, and it's a long acting benzo and cuts didn’t really being felt for a few days.

[[ca...]]

On 06/03/2024 at 17:41, [[n...] said:

Try not to go up and down in dose to much as your brain takes time to adapt.

I would stay on 30mg for some time and wait for the adaption. You can always up the dose later if it wont happen.

i was also on diazepam, mostly, and it's a long acting benzo and cuts didn’t really being felt for a few days.

How much Valium were you on before you went CT?

[[PE...]]

1 hour ago, [[c...] said:

How much Valium were you on before you went CT?

150mg. I was i a huge tolerance 

Edited March 10 by Guest

[[Pa...]]

Hi @[ca...], are you still at 30 mgs?

[[ca...]]

I was taken down to 26mg at the hospital in only a few days. They forced me. I was put in the psych unit.

[[ca...]]

To be fair, I have nausea, a little bit of diarrhea, some insomnia (despite being on Valium 10 at night time) with trazodone 50 though, muscle twitching and restless legs, POTS (insane), tachycardia (I do take beta blockers sometimes though after big cuts but they wouldn’t give me some in the hospital), and I think I am starting to get d/r again. Oh and my skin is a little itchy. My main symptoms are psychological though, I kinda feel like after my C/T but still having 26mg of Valium to taper. Not gonna lie, another C/T is tempting. The longer I stay on a dose, the harder it is to get down again. I went from 40-30 way easier than 30-26. Both were torture mentally, again. I can handle the physical stuff. But the mental part is crazy.

[[ca...]]

3 hours ago, [[P...] said:

Hi @[ca...], are you still at 30 mgs?

Oops, I answered below and not as a quote

[[Pa...]]

I'm in agreement with the others who suggest holding for now but it sounds like you're leaning more towards stopping cold turkey?  

2 hours ago, [[c...] said:

The longer I stay on a dose, the harder it is to get down again

I don't have taper experience but from what I've seen, holding will typically lead to stabilization making it easier to begin reductions again, but of course, others experiences might not be yours.

As people get lower in dose, they say it does get more difficult so they have to slow it down even more so you're not wrong to think this is going to be difficult.  

Are you thinking about another cold turkey?  

[[ca...]]

27 minutes ago, [[P...] said:

I'm in agreement with the others who suggest holding for now but it sounds like you're leaning more towards stopping cold turkey?  

I don't have taper experience but from what I've seen, holding will typically lead to stabilization making it easier to begin reductions again, but of course, others experiences might not be yours.

As people get lower in dose, they say it does get more difficult so they have to slow it down even more so you're not wrong to think this is going to be difficult.  

Are you thinking about another cold turkey?  

I am. I feel completely poisoned by so much Diazepam. I didn’t have that tolerance. I was taking 1mg of Ativan. My liver must be overloaded. I just don’t know how dangerous it is to jump from 26mg of Diazepam vs 1-2mg of Ativan. My Cold Turkey was bad but I survived it. I just feel chemically poisoned right now. Horrible feeling.