Help and support needed

[[Ia...]]

I am currently on day 5 after stopping  valium. My recent dosage is only 2mg x 2 a day, but that is the least amount I have been down to in roughly 20 years. (I have been tapering back from 10mg 6 months back and was higher before that....but not crazy high like some I have read)This is my doing, as I am just done, over it and want to move on. I started on xanax long ago and have done xanax, librium, valium and one other I forget the name of. I also stopped drinking more than 6 months ago, but have never been a fall down drunk. Just in my early 50's now and the pain of staying the same outweighs the pain of change. The last 5 days have been rough, but not as bad as my previous attempt(S). Short of last night which was pretty rough and I questioned whether I should take one as I was feeling a bit of vertigo along with ALL the other WD side effects. stomach making all kinds of noises lol, sweaty palms, headache, some feelings of dread, sleep is not great-but unisom works, my focus is horrible, fear of people, some lights, I hear watches tick from a distance etc. 

I am looking for advice on things I might take to make the transition smother but NOT delay the process. I will take a couple 3mg melatonin and a magnesium supplement during the day.....but the FOCUS is HORRIBLE. Probably why I am typing this as I dart from screen to screen attempting to get some work done lol

Yesterday I went and shot some freethrows for a bit just to get out and take my mind of it...also joined a gym and did the bike on say 3. While shooting I can feel the court vibration as I bounce the basketball.....typical stuff I guess. I just wanna get it off my chest and know if there are any things I might not think of from typical google searches. 

I also still have some, but am nervous to dump it just yet in case I ABSOLUTELY need it. I think I should dump it soon though.

I should be past the hump I think. Help on focus is my main request. LMK and thanks for listening and help.

It's a vicious drug that worked well for work and focus. Take my med and have some caffeine and get to work was my standard useage.

How can I help my focus when caffeine is not an option? Obviously the other WD side effects are an issue, but I need to get some work done too.

I know I just need to stick with it, maybe I just need to hear it from others that I am on the typical path and it will get better. Thank you in advance...end rant/

[[je...]]

Hi @[Ia...]

welcome to BenzoBuddies!

As you probably know you are very early off and it can take quite some time for symptoms to resolve. The fact that you’re functional is a great sign though. 
 

There isn’t really anything to help ease withdrawal or help with focus that I’m aware of. Adjunct meds are hit and miss for people. But it sounds like you’re doing the right things such as exercising and distraction. 
 

Just know you’re not alone in this. What you’re going through is completely normal and should get better with time. I’m almost 15 months off and I’m doing better now than when I jumped. 

[[Ia...]]

Thank You. Just read the 2400 days off post......man what a good post. Made me feel a bit better and will definitely be digging into the success stories.

[[Ma...]]

You’re doing great! Dump them. Dump the rest. Just do it. Dump them. Throw them away. You made the decision to get off and there may be difficult days ahead so throw the temptation away as it will only keep putting you back. You need to get them completely out of your system the time of which varies depending on which benzo and the amount.

That is your 1st goal-flush them out of your system.

Dump them and keep going. We’re rooting for you!

 

Edited February 27 by [Ma...]

[[Ia...]]

12 minutes ago, [[M...] said:

You’re doing great! Dump them. Dump the rest. Just do it. Dump them. Throw them away. You made the decision to get off and there may be difficult days ahead so throw the temptation away as it will only keep putting you back. You need to get them completely out of your system the time of which varies depending on which benzo and the amount.

That is your 1st goal-flush them out of your system.

Dump them and keep going. We’re rooting for you!

FUUUG........ I just flushed them and have no scripts!!!

 

Stings right now, but it was 30 seconds ago. I know from quitting drinking and smoking in the past that 1/2 the anxiety is just knowing it's there. They are gone!!! GONE, GONE, GONE!

(honestly hard to believe I just did that, but I know I am past the danger zone. TY

 

oh yeah.. did I say FUUUG  LOL

at least I can laugh about it.

[[Ma...]]

WTG!!!!! I know, super hard but you’ve made a commitment to yourself to be rid of them for good.

Now, keep going and if you hit rough patches just know they will pass. 
 

Soon you will be operating and living on such a higher level then you ever were on benzos and you’re going to feel amazing, better than ever!!

Keep Going. Come back here when you need support and nothing more. Don’t dwell here or read other’s suffering as that’s not your story.

Keep going and don’t look back! 

[[Ia...]]

Sometimes we just need the nudge and slap on the back! still slapping myself

[[ba...]]

Congrats

Edited February 28 by [ba...]

[[Bu...]]

Hey @[Ia...],

I am so glad you found our site. 

Congratulations on all you've accomplished!  I certainly hope that you experience very minimal withdrawal.  That being said, in case there are complications, it can be helpful to know all your options.

Twenty years of use is quite a long time and 4mg a day isn't a low dose.  It's not terribly high, but it is higher than what would be recommended that someone would discontinue from.  Valium also has a rather long half life, so you may experience more or worsening withdrawal than you have now.  If this turns out to be the case, sometimes reinstating (going back on the meds temporarily) and doing a slower taper off is the best option if withdrawal becomes too difficult.  

Do you have access to a doctor for another prescription if needed? 

Please keep us posted and let us know how else we can support you.

[[je...]]

3 minutes ago, [[B...] said:

Hey @[Ia...],

I am so glad you found our site. 

Congratulations on all you've accomplished!  I certainly hope that you experience very minimal withdrawal.  That being said, in case there are complications, it can be helpful to know all your options.

Twenty years of use is quite a long time and 4mg a day isn't a low dose.  It's not terribly high, but it is higher than what would be recommended that someone would discontinue from.  Valium also has a rather long half life, so you may experience more or worsening withdrawal than you have now.  If this turns out to be the case, sometimes reinstating (going back on the meds temporarily) and doing a slower taper off is the best option if withdrawal becomes too difficult.  

Do you have access to a doctor for another prescription if needed? 

Please keep us posted and let us know how else we can support you.

I agree with @[Bu...]. Your jump dose is not typically where people would stop as it is on the higher end and there is the possibility that symptoms might get worse. It's always good to have a backup plan because we just don't know how we will react and whether you would need to reinstate.

[[Bu...]]

3 hours ago, [[M...] said:

You’re doing great! Dump them. Dump the rest. Just do it. Dump them. Throw them away. You made the decision to get off and there may be difficult days ahead so throw the temptation away as it will only keep putting you back. You need to get them completely out of your system the time of which varies depending on which benzo and the amount.

That is your 1st goal-flush them out of your system.

Dump them and keep going. We’re rooting for you!

@[Ma...],

We all appreciate encouragement, but we do not use prescriptive language on this site.  As well-intentioned as it may be (and I'm sure it was), we cannot tell people what to do with their medication.  Please refer to the rule below:

 

Please adopt a non-prescriptive writing style. Relating your experiences, stating options, or posting suggestions of what other members might do are all welcome. However, advising members of what they should or must do is against the ethos of the BenzoBuddies Community. 

 https://benzobuddies.org/guidelines/

 

[[PE...]]

How are you doing @[Ia...]?

[[Ia...]]

22 minutes ago, [[n...] said:

How are you doing @[Ia...]?

Pretty good this morning. Thank you for asking.

 

Really focusing on waves....i.e. caffiene intake, sugar etc. etc....vs good for the mind and body activities and intakes.

 

For those wondering... I did not just flush those meds on a whim from someone's comment on a MB. With my history I have tapered in the past and pretty much an expert at it lol. This round has not been near as extreme as in times past because of my approach as well as how close I was to being done with them. Not an easy decision, but not one done recklessly either.

 

[[Ia...]]

Update day 12....

I have had good success with teas and supplements, although they do not get your head right as much as the scripts... there is hope for them because in the past I never they never had any effect on me whatsoever. Now, I can tell the instant I sip the tea or 10 minutes after I take ginko or ginseng etc. Foscus, sleep..mood anxiety are all still there and again, there is hope. but if you asked me at 6:30 this morning I may have had a different answer. Had my morning coffee and scheduled an appointment with a new psychiatrist, but that is 10 days out. so I hope to be feeling better and cancel. but at 7-8am this morning I was like WTF-how will I get through today.

Had to get out of my head again, which is a constant theme, and go for a walk and lat in the grass and went to the grocery store for a few minutes...feeling a bit better. I am in a positive state of mind and definitely not looking to go back. It's just a matter of riding the razors edge for a bit, trying not to dwell and get moving until I hope my body normalizes

Edited March 5 by [Ia...]

[[Ia...]]

Today is officially two weeks and I have not taken any supplements! (madnesium, ginko, tryptotphan and such)

I did do my walk/jog a few miles this morning and have been noticing how much different foods affect me. Ordered a book on diet for anxiety and behavioral therapy for anxiety. Have needed to do 2 activities per day, whether that be gym and/or walk/jog, to burn off anxiousness. but hey... ITS @ WEEKS!!!!! and I feel just a hair better every morning. I guess after 20 years, I am doing pretty good. I know in years past I had tapered down from much higher doses, but never fully quit, and it was friggin BRUTAL. This is as well, but I get the pleasure of knowing I am taking nothing now. nada zilch :-)

[[...]]

That sounds amazing !

How did you do your taper?

[[Ia...]]

I was lucky....or rather I was fighting it a long time, so when it came to tapering I was already on valium vs. some of the harder stuff. (looks like valium is what this site says to taper on as well) Started my taper from 10mg in the form of 2x5mg per day. So I broke one of them in half and called the bigger side 3mg and the smaller side 2mg. I would break them up when I initially got my script and stow the others away. (inevitably I would take the extra at some point as a reward...so I do not recommend saving them if you can prevent it) So, I went from 10 to 8 to 7ish....at this point you have small bits and pieces here and there and can stock up on em to add to the 5mg dose when you renew/lower your script. From there it was one 5mg pill per day, which I broke in 1/2 and took the larger 1/2 in the am and the smaller after lunch. From there I cut to 4mg in the form of 2x2mg per day. By now I am pretty fed up with breaking pills and feeling like a junkie and I made the jump to zero. I would recommend waiting until you're down to just 2mg per day or less though, as the 1st week was pretty hairy and I probably risked my own safety...but for me...after I got through the 4th or 5th day and had a moment of strength I tossed what I had left.

my taper lasted roughly 6 months, but going from 4 to zero was tough, I am not gonna lie...

 

supplements

multivitamin, fish oil, A, B, C, D and E......not all taken every day. rotate them. fish oil everyday. B everyday....the rest I rotate. I marked my sup0plements as U or up and D for down depending on what wave I was on lol.

Tryptophan-helps-D

Magnesium-D

L-theanine-D

Ginko biloba-U

Gaba-U

St Johns wort-U

Melotinin -probably take a couple 3mg every other day as needed and a couple unisom for sleep

 

I ranked them Up or Down because I did not want to take something that was gonna jack me up if I was already stressed. But they do help me focus, provided I am comfortable and not coming out of my skin.

 

I will add that Teas help me a LOT as well. I will often have a tea in the morning with two bags one bag chamomile (relax) and one peppermint (focus) The tea really helps. Now on to diet, as I can literally feel the effect certain foods and drinks have as I eat or right after I finish. hope this helps

 

[[Ia...]]

third monday after quitting and the 1st one where I feel half way normal. there is hope...just past 2 weeks after stopping. was a LOOONG 2 weeks though.

[[ns...]]

Iamsodone

Me too!

Love the name. Congrats on being "done"

So how are u now?

You did a pretty fast taper there towards the end and then a jump, not to mention you didn't have a very scheduled taper.

Wondering if you feel supplements are helping that much without withdrawal, maybe to soon to tell.

I eat everything I can to give me what you've listed but I'm sure I'm missing vit d and c for sure. 

I can't take vit or supplements so diet is the only way I can make sure I'm getting what I need. 

Glad you made it,I'm coming up on that journey and pretty nervous about it. 

It's been a rough taper so I'm expecting it to get worse before it gets better but I am looking forward to being done!

Hoping your ride continues to be smooth and uneventful!

Take care 

Ns

 

 

 

[[Ia...]]

8 hours ago, [[n...] said:

Iamsodone

Me too!

Love the name. Congrats on being "done"

So how are u now?

You did a pretty fast taper there towards the end and then a jump, not to mention you didn't have a very scheduled taper.

Wondering if you feel supplements are helping that much without withdrawal, maybe to soon to tell.

I eat everything I can to give me what you've listed but I'm sure I'm missing vit d and c for sure. 

I can't take vit or supplements so diet is the only way I can make sure I'm getting what I need. 

Glad you made it,I'm coming up on that journey and pretty nervous about it. 

It's been a rough taper so I'm expecting it to get worse before it gets better but I am looking forward to being done!

Hoping your ride continues to be smooth and uneventful!

Take care 

Ns

hanging in pretty good. Seems like the 2.5 week area is where the cloud has lifted for me. brutal 2 weeks, but no more brutal than when I was tapering from a larger dose in years past. I just never got to zero then. I was already about done and have tapered many times over the years. Quitting drinking and smoking taught me that 1/2 the piece of mind comes in KNOWING I was done. I had some on hand for roughly the 1st week, and after that I figured I was out of the thick of it as far as medical emergency thoughts/status so it was time to get it out of my hands. That was my choice and was thought about before I ever logged on here. As to supplements. They help. So does food though. Rice REALLY gave me peace at one point as did other things at others. I bought a book on diet for anxiety and am going to work on my diet next, but it's not that bad. When in WD a LOT of things seem to impact how I felt, as I was on level 12 anxiety and the body reacts to everything...or mine did. Sugar, caffiene, carbs, protien...they all play into it. Ease up on sugar and caffiene but do not quit alltogether, as the body already has enough WD to deal with lol. TEA really helps as well if that is an option for you