Really struggling..

[[Su...]]

Hey everyone, I’m hoping for some help and I’m not sure how much info I need to repeat in this post from my previous ones. 
 

I have not reduced my dose since September. When I did reduce my dose I was rocked from 1mg down to .3mg of Valium. I held at that dose for months. Within the last few weeks I gradually tried to updose from .3mg to .5mg of Valium and that is as high as my body would tolerate. The night before last I tried to updose to .6mg of Valium and the next day I woke up with burning, nausea, and a general feeling of being sick, almost like the flu. I’ve had mostly mental symptoms for the last few months since I’ve been holding. I am desperately trying to stabilize before I continue the taper- I know my dose is ridiculously small at this point. Anyway after the worsening sx of the .6mg I just went back to the .5 I’ve been at for around 10 days now. Today when I try to get up I feel extremely weak and shaky, my head is pounding, I feel lightheaded and extremely short of breath- not air hunger but more like I’m trying to breathe and my lungs feel heavy. I feel like I’m REALLY sick physically.  
 

Six months ago in my taper I was at 1mg of Valium and fully functioning. I still dealt with some issues at that time but I was not in this shape. I’m 32 and feel like I am much much older, virtually bedridden and struggling SO hard. I have to be able to care for my children. My husband is active duty military so I have to function for my family and right now I am not. Also my memory is dangerously bad, I feel like I have dementia and it’s terrifying. 

I am devastated, questioning whether I should try to go back on a low dose of Klonopin which is what I’ve been on for years before this and wondering if I could stabilize and taper from there? I am not taking any other medication. I have become severely depressed and terrified for my future and the future of our family. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. 

[[Li...]]

@[Su...] I am so sorry that you are having such a hard time.  In September why such a big cut in your dose?  

[[or...]]

56 minutes ago, [[S...] said:

Hey everyone, I’m hoping for some help and I’m not sure how much info I need to repeat in this post from my previous ones. 
 

I have not reduced my dose since September. When I did reduce my dose I was rocked from 1mg down to .3mg of Valium. I held at that dose for months. Within the last few weeks I gradually tried to updose from .3mg to .5mg of Valium and that is as high as my body would tolerate. The night before last I tried to updose to .6mg of Valium and the next day I woke up with burning, nausea, and a general feeling of being sick, almost like the flu. I’ve had mostly mental symptoms for the last few months since I’ve been holding. I am desperately trying to stabilize before I continue the taper- I know my dose is ridiculously small at this point. Anyway after the worsening sx of the .6mg I just went back to the .5 I’ve been at for around 10 days now. Today when I try to get up I feel extremely weak and shaky, my head is pounding, I feel lightheaded and extremely short of breath- not air hunger but more like I’m trying to breathe and my lungs feel heavy. I feel like I’m REALLY sick physically.  
 

Six months ago in my taper I was at 1mg of Valium and fully functioning. I still dealt with some issues at that time but I was not in this shape. I’m 32 and feel like I am much much older, virtually bedridden and struggling SO hard. I have to be able to care for my children. My husband is active duty military so I have to function for my family and right now I am not. Also my memory is dangerously bad, I feel like I have dementia and it’s terrifying. 

I am devastated, questioning whether I should try to go back on a low dose of Klonopin which is what I’ve been on for years before this and wondering if I could stabilize and taper from there? I am not taking any other medication. I have become severely depressed and terrified for my future and the future of our family. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. 

Hi @[Su...], I can't give any advice, about updosing.  I haven't had to do it.  I tried a couple of "rescue" doses they call them.  Took a bit more once, but went right back to my present dose.  I was on 1 mg of the K (clonazepam form) and into my taper a year or so in March.  For me staying steady through the rather mild wd sxs has been best, holding until I know I am ready and "need" to taper.  Sometimes I feel so good I'm afraid to have to taper again but I do it.

I taper a very little bit, and I go by the weight of my 1 mg Tablet of Clonazepam, TEVA brand.  You can see my history if you want to.  I finally got into a steady decrease/taper just in the last few months.  I started with .151 gram, weight of Tablet, after learning how to micro taper here at BB.  So in a year, I am down to .095 grams pill weight.  I know that is very slow, but I've not hesitated to hold for a month and a few more days to be sure.

I hope something I've replied might help you @[Su...] "slow and steady" I've never forgotten that phrase, even when I messed up on my schedule, oregonlady,  got right back on track

[[Su...]]

23 minutes ago, [[L...] said:

@[Su...] I am so sorry that you are having such a hard time.  In September why such a big cut in your dose?  

It was a mistake, I was following the directions of my psych, we followed the Ashton manual all the way down and I had a really good taper, I didn’t realize how blessed I’d been until we made that cut and I have t been able to stabilize. 

[[Su...]]

I watched a video by Dr Josef Witt doerring and he said that sometimes if you’ve gone protracted even updosing won’t help, I’ve been holding for 6 months, is that considered protracted? 

[[or...]]

@[Su...] a reduction from 1 mg of valium to .3 is way to much. Ashton never did suggest a cut like that. I followed Ashton all the way down and finally found her .5mg cuts to be too much, so amended them. That having been said, conventional wisdom here on BB suggests that when you are "in the weeds" from too big a cut that you go back up to the last dose where you felt comfortable, hold until you are sure you are (comfortable) and then begin a REASONABLE taper. Several of my buddies did this when they found themselves in trouble, and it worked very well. If I were you I would think about such a strategy. Where did you feel okay? It seems that it was at 1mg. Is this worth thinking about? 

[[Su...]]

1 minute ago, [[o...] said:

@[Su...] a reduction from 1 mg of valium to .3 is way to much. Ashton never did suggest a cut like that. I followed Ashton all the way down and finally found her .5mg cuts to be too much, so amended them. That having been said, conventional wisdom here on BB suggests that when you are "in the weeds" from too big a cut that you go back up to the last dose where you felt comfortable, hold until you are sure you are (comfortable) and then begin a REASONABLE taper. Several of my buddies did this when they found themselves in trouble, and it worked very well. If I were you I would think about such a strategy. Where did you feel okay? It seems that it was at 1mg. Is this worth thinking about? 

Hi Katz, thank you for your advice. Yes I felt good at 1 mg. The problem is when I tried recently to titrate back up to 1mg the morning after I took .6mg instead of .5 I woke up with burning upper body, nausea, and have felt increasingly sick since, it’s only been two days but I haven’t been able to do hardly anything. Before the increase, I was having a lot of mental symptoms, which I have had intensely since the big cut. However the physical symptoms had largely went, so that leads me to believe the physical symptoms came back when I tried to increase again. That’s why I’ve been considering possibly trying Clonazepam again wondering if my body is rejecting the Valium? I’m just so tired. I’ve been tapering for so long and to be honest the length of taper wouldn’t have bothered me if I remained largely symptom free. But being virtually couch bound for the better part of six months is causing some very dark and scary thoughts. 

[[or...]]

@[Su...] yeah, it's a conundrum, isn't it? But just fyi,  my 3 buddies who went back up to their "comfort zone" dose did it all at once. One, who was with me at 2.5 mgs (and felt awful) threw in the towel and went back to 10 mgs all at once. He felt okay there, and after holding for 2 months, started down again. My other 2 buddies went back to their comfort zone doses, but they weren't such a dramatic increase. We do what we gotta do to feel okay. Oh, and they were able to restart their tapers after a bit with no problem. My guess is that your body is not rejecting the valium -- I haven't heard much about that in all my years on here -- but that it got really disturbed by your way too big drop and is craving more. A lot more. My NP offered me klonopin once when I was in the weeds but I didn't consider it. Better the devil I knew, I figured. So good luck whatever you decide. This benzo w/d ordeal is s**t and easily the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Again, good luck.

Edited February 23 by [or...]

[[ap...]]

On 24/02/2024 at 01:15, [[S...] said:

Hey everyone, I’m hoping for some help and I’m not sure how much info I need to repeat in this post from my previous ones. 
 

I have not reduced my dose since September. When I did reduce my dose I was rocked from 1mg down to .3mg of Valium. I held at that dose for months. Within the last few weeks I gradually tried to updose from .3mg to .5mg of Valium and that is as high as my body would tolerate. The night before last I tried to updose to .6mg of Valium and the next day I woke up with burning, nausea, and a general feeling of being sick, almost like the flu. I’ve had mostly mental symptoms for the last few months since I’ve been holding. I am desperately trying to stabilize before I continue the taper- I know my dose is ridiculously small at this point. Anyway after the worsening sx of the .6mg I just went back to the .5 I’ve been at for around 10 days now. Today when I try to get up I feel extremely weak and shaky, my head is pounding, I feel lightheaded and extremely short of breath- not air hunger but more like I’m trying to breathe and my lungs feel heavy. I feel like I’m REALLY sick physically.  
 

Six months ago in my taper I was at 1mg of Valium and fully functioning. I still dealt with some issues at that time but I was not in this shape. I’m 32 and feel like I am much much older, virtually bedridden and struggling SO hard. I have to be able to care for my children. My husband is active duty military so I have to function for my family and right now I am not. Also my memory is dangerously bad, I feel like I have dementia and it’s terrifying. 

I am devastated, questioning whether I should try to go back on a low dose of Klonopin which is what I’ve been on for years before this and wondering if I could stabilize and taper from there? I am not taking any other medication. I have become severely depressed and terrified for my future and the future of our family. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. 

Darling I was updated and it made no difference just added more time to a very long difficult taper

[[mi...]]

What is a safe dose to cold turkey from, and is that different for everyone?   I tried going from 1.5 C a day to .5 and got very sick.  So I am doing .75 and it's not too bad.  I'm going to stick with that for awhile.  

I was hoping I could quit after .25 at night for a while.  This drug takes mind over matter, not something I am exceptionally good at.

 

Edited March 6 by [mi...]

[[Pa...]]

2 hours ago, [[m...] said:

What is a safe dose to cold turkey from, and is that different for everyone?   I tried going from 1.5 C a day to .5 and got very sick.  So I am doing .75 and it's not too bad.  I'm going to stick with that for awhile.  

I was hoping I could quit after .25 at night for a while.  This drug takes mind over matter, not something I am exceptionally good at.

I've seen some members who use Clonazepam mention tapering to .05, some go all the way to 0.  I'm glad you found a dose that is tolerable but agree that holding for now is a good idea. 

My thoughts about what dose to jump from revolve around how your symptoms are as you taper, they should inform your decision.  If you're struggling mightily, chances are the same will happen when you jump so tapering even lower is probably a good idea, let your symptoms guide you.

[[mi...]]

Thank you Pamster.