Can’t remeber my old life

[[Br...]]

Has this happened to anyone else? I don’t know if it’s the trauma of it all. I had multiple bad med reactions before the benzos and then one to valium when trying to switch over but after being on the benzos and getting so many more issues than I started with even after a short period of time I seriously can’t remeber what it was like to be normal. I don’t remeber a lot of myself and my old life like my routines and what I would laugh or smile at or how I would normally talk to someone. Even my family seems like I don’t even know them anymore and have no memories of things we’ve done together. I’ve only been on benzos for 10 weeks and am jumping off in a few days. I’m 23 and am scared I’ll have forgotten all of my life and have to build a new one from the ash and never get back to my old self. I do get random flashbacks of things from when I was normal multiple times a day that send my body into a panic. It really feels like I hit my head and suffered a TBI. I am hoping once I’m off my body and brain can heal. I am looking into getting EMDR due to the last 5 months of my life. I wake up every day and don’t know how I survived another day especially with akathisia. And since the benzos i’m in so much pain with so much fatigue I can’t even do anything to distract myself. I was having weird health symptoms before the benzos but nothing like this to the point of not being able to think or leave my house or exercise even walks so I plan to try to work with a functional medicine doctor. But the benzos have really done a number on me. Someone please tell me if this happened to them? Losing long term memories and sense of self? I don’t even remeber how to use social medias anymore that much or directions around where I live which I used to be amazing at and also I don’t think I would know what to do at work if I went back which I worked for 5 years. I also have 0 tolerance to stress any tiny inconvenience makes me feel like i’m going to take a stroke. I had a high heart rate and sensitive nervous system before this so this is really bad. Thank you buddies

[[Ma...]]

You are not alone. This has/is happening to me and dare I say, most who are going through w/d.

It will all come back. In the meantime try to be patient, trust the process and most of all be kind to yourself. Your body and brain are working hard to regain homeostasis and even though you can’t see it, healing is happening.

When you wake up just think, Okay, this is what we are dealing with TODAY. Just today. Focus on the moment, not the past or the future.

Maybe watch jenswanphd videos on YouTube. She has a way of explaining things that I find very helpful.

Edited February 23 by [Ma...]