Need buddie friend please

[[Ba...]]

Looking for a buddie please?  I'm new here I'm a 66 yrs old female who lives  by myself.  I have only 1 son and he doesnt believe me thinks Im crazy has cut off contact!  no family only couple friends and its hard for them. I foolishly didnt taper my Prozac long  enough only 6 months was like I cold turkeyed I was on this for 27 years ( not thinking to do something like that) as you know this has ruined my life did this  1 and 1/2 yrs ago and was suffering but thought things would get better.  Then took klonopin and trazodone to sleep 9 mos ago off and on but not every night.   Didn't know I was making myself worse severe akathisia kicked in really bad I stopped the klonopin and trazodone in Dec but Im in severe shape as all of you know who experience this with the suicidal ideation everyday 1 hour sleep for months or none,  inter restlessness 24/7,  night and day terrors, my mind can barley function looking for someone we could text  each other  for support and help.  Is this possible?  I have had some coaching with someone who's familar with this site and she said to go on here and look for a buddie.  Please help I dont know if i did this right?

[[Pa...]]

Hello @[Ba...], welcome to BenzoBuddies,

I'm so sorry to hear all you've been through, we'll do all we can to support you as you recover from this nightmare.  

I do need to clear up how we do things here, all of our discussions about tapers and symptoms are done on the public platform, as we're doing now.  There is a private messaging service we can use for chit chat but the important stuff happens in public.  This is so we can all learn from each other how to cope throughout this process.  We don't text each other, we depend on anonymity here because what we discuss is of such a personal nature.

We look forward to getting to know you and helping you.

Pamster

[[Ma...]]

You can DM me anytime.

[[de...]]

@[Ba...]  Welcome to Benzo Buddies.  So sorry you are going through this.   You will find lots of support, hope and information here to help you on your journey.    You will have lots of "buddies" to support you, but as @[Pa...] said it all has to be done on the public forum.   

Yes, withdrawing from an anti-depressant can be very tricky and six months is not very long to taper.   Having said that you will recover; it will just take some time.  

You are most likely experiencing acute withdrawal.  That can last several weeks to months once you stop the benzo.    This is usually when symptoms are the most intense.   Your body is realizing that it is no longer getting the drug and is trying to "right" itself.   This  process will continue, but the symptoms will most likely not be as intense.   This process is non-linear.   The symptoms will wax and wane in intensity and some will leave completely only to come back later.   

If you have not done this already, I would familiarize yourself with the Ashton Manual.   It is a document that has been around for a long time, but is still very relevant.   Lots of people on this forum use it as a roadmap for their recovery. 

I am sorry your son does not "believe" you.   It is extremely common for family members to not understand what is going.   They have no context to understand this phenomenon, so it makes it extremely difficult for them to wrap their brains around what is happening to you.   Also, since the medical community does not really recognize this, it makes it even harder for them to grasp.   

You will recover, and your life will keep getting better.   Many people, once they have recovered completely, say they feel better than they have in years.

Keep reaching out!

 

[[Ba...]]

Thank you, I know about the Aston  Manual but its to late for that for me..  Its been to long since  I've stopped all drugs.  It  would cause me more damage to try and reinstate.  Angie Peacock told me this also  ive just got to wait it out till my brain heals and goes back to homostasis. ANYTHING I take like magnesium causes my Akathisia worse.  I'm not computer savvy at all so this makes it even harder.    

[[Ba...]]

Mary M I dont know how I DM on here.

[[Ba...]]

3 hours ago, [[M...] said:

You can DM me anytime.

• Hi, I don't know how to DM  A friend helped me get on this site and there not going to be available till next week.  

Spoiler

Spoiler

 

 

 

[[Ba...]]

4 hours ago, [[P...] said:

Hello @[Ba...], welcome to BenzoBuddies,

I'm so sorry to hear all you've been through, we'll do all we can to support you as you recover from this nightmare.  

I do need to clear up how we do things here, all of our discussions about tapers and symptoms are done on the public platform, as we're doing now.  There is a private messaging service we can use for chit chat but the important stuff happens in public.  This is so we can all learn from each other how to cope throughout this process.  We don't text each other, we depend on anonymity here because what we discuss is of such a personal nature.

We look forward to getting to know you and helping you.

Pamster

 

[[Ma...]]

Tap on my name, tap in the envelope icon then write, hit send!

[[Bl...]]

@[Ba...] I'm so sorry to see you dealing with this. It can be a very lonely journey and that is even with family around. Problem with family was already stated by a previous post....that it is common for family not to understand what is happening to those in benzo w/d.

If you are wanting to message someone just click on the envelope icon(picture) at the top of any page that you are on when at benzobuddies.org Website.  Then you will see a pinkish box that says "compose new".....just click on it and you can then compose a message and send it to anyone who is a member with benzobuddies. In the TO: line....Be sure to accurately write the persons benzobuddy "name" to insure they receive your message to them. Hope this helps.

[[Ba...]]

Thanks, It will take practice to learn this.  My brain is so bad  I'm crying right now!  this is so hard for me.   You are so kind.  Thank you again

[[...]]

Hang in there Barb. Eat what you can.Clean and healthy. Don't fool around with supplements. Drink water.

Find things for distraction for the tough times. I use solitary/ games on the phone.

Keep your eye on the goal. You'll feel better and better. It can take a few months.  

We're here for you.

Edited February 21 by [...]

[[Ba...]]

12 minutes ago, [[B...] said:

4 hours ago, [[P...] said:

Hello @[Ba...], welcome to BenzoBuddies,

I'm so sorry to hear all you've been through, we'll do all we can to support you as you recover from this nightmare.  

I do need to clear up how we do things here, all of our discussions about tapers and symptoms are done on the public platform, as we're doing now.  There is a private messaging service we can use for chit chat but the important stuff happens in public.  This is so we can all learn from each other how to cope throughout this process.  We don't text each other, we depend on anonymity here because what we discuss is of such a personal nature.

We look forward to getting to know you and helping you.

Pamster

Thank you so much Pamster!  It will take me awhile to learn site.

[[Ba...]]

[[Ba...]]

3 hours ago, [[d...] said:

@[Ba...]  Welcome to Benzo Buddies.  So sorry you are going through this.   You will find lots of support, hope and information here to help you on your journey.    You will have lots of "buddies" to support you, but as @[Pa...] said it all has to be done on the public forum.   

Yes, withdrawing from an anti-depressant can be very tricky and six months is not very long to taper.   Having said that you will recover; it will just take some time.  

You are most likely experiencing acute withdrawal.  That can last several weeks to months once you stop the benzo.    This is usually when symptoms are the most intense.   Your body is realizing that it is no longer getting the drug and is trying to "right" itself.   This  process will continue, but the symptoms will most likely not be as intense.   This process is non-linear.   The symptoms will wax and wane in intensity and some will leave completely only to come back later.   

If you have not done this already, I would familiarize yourself with the Ashton Manual.   It is a document that has been around for a long time, but is still very relevant.   Lots of people on this forum use it as a roadmap for their recovery. 

I am sorry your son does not "believe" you.   It is extremely common for family members to not understand what is going.   They have no context to understand this phenomenon, so it makes it extremely difficult for them to wrap their brains around what is happening to you.   Also, since the medical community does not really recognize this, it makes it even harder for them to grasp.   

You will recover, and your life will keep getting better.   Many people, once they have recovered completely, say they feel better than they have in years.

Keep reaching out!

Thank you so much

[[...]]

I'm alone too. There's a few of us.

Think of the better days when you'll feel better. You can go meet people then. We make lousy company when we're sick anyways.

It's about you, no one else. 

[[Ma...]]

@[Ba...] there’s 3 gold lines on the top right of the page. Click that and it will tell you if you have a DM. Which you do, from me!!!

[[Ba...]]

[[Pa...]]

23 minutes ago, [[B...] said:

 Another night and I'm only going to get 1 hour sleep. hoping for better days.  l will  try and find something good to watch but its hard to enjoy anything  

If you're like I was, I could only watch cooking shows and not the ones that had any type of competition, everything was too stimulating.  Isn't it awful that all of the things we normally do to pass the time, we can't while going through this?  Can't watch TV, listen to music, hang out with friends, read or a hundred other activities that we can no longer do because we're wound up tight as a drum. 

[[...]]

Sorry you can't sleep.

[[Di...]]

I turn 69 years old next month and I live by myself without family.  No one knows what we are experiencing if they have not faced it themselves.  Rest assured you have many people here that will support you and guide you.  I am tapering from Lorazpham right now.  It is hard on my body and brain.  

[[Su...]]

Hi Barb, I am SO sorry you are going through this hell and I know it is exactly that. I have a couple of close buddies here and usually only DM and haven't gotten into any forums since the site was updated- I'm not the best at tech. But I was poking around tonight. You can DM me as well. I was on paxil for over 25 years and decided to get off about 5 years ago. I got off in 2 weeks. Beyond stupid. When the bad sxs developed I didn't even know they were associated with the wd and was in the hospital once, ER twice. When it finally dawned on me after 3 months off I reinstated. I have been doing a snail's pace taper for 3 years almost exactly. I have gotten to 11.5 mg from 20 mg. No, you are 100% not crazy. It is all real. You can heal and you will get support here. This taper has been harder for me than methadone, morphine, lyrica and xanax. When I did my CT I had a medical procedure scheduled and was too weak to walk. My heart rate was 38. I didn't know it was the paxil. When I finally decided to taper again after being back on for quite some time I could not do 10% without my heart rate dropping into the 40s, short of breath, weak, all my pain issues much worse and the most horrible akathesia. And of course insomnia. Where I am now I do .1 mg cuts- yes 1/10th of a mg. And can still have sxs if they are too close together. I took a different course by reinstating but I can definitely let you know that what you are experiencing is real. Bless you- you are not alone. If you have not been directed to it- surviving antidepressants is a great place to go. I am a member there as well but had found BB easier to navigate and get support. But there is a ton of info on the other site as well. 

[[Nu...]]

[[Nu...]]

Hi @[Ba...]. I'm sorry to hear of your struggles. It's an incredibly difficult, lonely journey. Please use us as support.

[[Bl...]]

Even though on-line support isn't perfect, it still can help one know they are clearly not alone in this fight. So even if people whom you may speak with in person on benzo w/d are unable to fully empathize, just knowing that others are in your shoes can be very cathartic in getting getting to the next day. But it does take effort to maintain such "optimism"...that is to say the feeling that you and everyone dealing with this unfortunate ordeal are NOT alone.