Mental Symptoms Morphed to Physical?

[[So...]]

@[sh...] oh yes, my day to day consists of trying to act like everything is fine while simultaneously feeling like I'm being tortured.  It's terrible.  I'm actually working from home again bcuz we got in a lot of debt while I had to take off work so I was no where near ready but had to.  It's just all about faking it until I make it for me, and unfortunely that means a lot of pretending which makes me super depressed and tired.  

 

I'm almost certain this has to be closely linked with nerves, I'm not sure if I buy into the whole gaba needing to unregulate thing or reinstating would work... that's probably where the issue started but I think I got nerve damage from all the glutamate.  When I'm spooked or hear a loud noise I immediately get parathesias up and down my arms and legs, and just so many other things that point to that conclusion.  And, I've looked it up and sadly nerves take a LONG time to regenerate, explaining how absolutely unrelenting this process can be.  

Sorry, kinda went on a rant, but if I had to guess I'd say that could be why the mental heals faster than the physical, we have to wait for the nerves to regrow.. I guess if you really wanna torture someone take out their nervous system and replace it with fire ants!  Lol!

 

Many healing wishes to you too!

[[Ju...]]

1 hour ago, [[S...] said:

@[Ju...] I was never great at controlling my agitation, it will always be hands down the worst symptom for me so thank God it's happening less and less, mine was so bad I couldn't do anything but lay down in the dark and resist the urge to bang my head into the wall.  So terrible, I swear I'll have PTSD from it.  

Mmm yes I understand how hard it is to not search for momentary relief even at the cost of making it drag on longer, I was taking gabapentin PRN for awhile and then had to stop bcuz it was rebounding badly and not worth it.  

 

I'm sure you will heal now that you identified the triggers and are staying away from them, thanks and I'm rooting for you! 

It's always great when I can find another benzo buddy that reads between the lines like me, seems like we have some similarities.

Yes I think I will heal quickly now that I'm not playing around anymore, sometimes I say to myself I shouldn't have done that. The other side of me says well, it was fun and it gave me a break, now back to reality.

I think that benzo withdrawal is teaching us to be a master of our agitation and irritability that bottles up inside, now we can handle a max level of it out in public when we're healed, anything that life throws at us will be a piece of cake now. I'm wishing you the best as well.

[[...]]

@[So...], thank you so much for sharing your experience of mirt cutting. It's really important to me and, i think, i'll slow down a bit too.  Yes, first of all i try to listen to my body and it tells me to get rid of all the alien chemistry interfering with the brain. I feel mirt bother me and i may do better without it, although the pill really helped while tapering, especially with headaches.

I've just read you got fits of OCD, me too. Thay were so crazy that i could only laugh through tears when i realized what it was and learned it's normal in our condition, though it could be really exhausting and frightening like madness... I still have some of it during waves.

Sure we're on the way to inevitable recovery⛅ I do agree. And today i've been exactly 11 months free of benzo)

Good great luck to you!)

Edited February 23 by [...]

[[Wi...]]

4 hours ago, [[S...] said:

@[Wi...] yeah for sure, i pnly say that bcuz i went down a rabbit hole for months wondering if i had aka since i didnt pace or if i did have it bcus i have every other symptom so now i jsut call it that but screw the correct term it doesn't change anything.. this aka seems different than the typical AP aka anyways which usually clears upon quitting the drug.  

 

I'm happy you have had some windows, even if they've been short!  At least this process gives some of us that at the very least lol.  I also think I came very close to having seizures after my CT, at least from what my mom with epilepsy described, I got Deja vu really bad and was seeing geometry when I closed my eyes and felt like my head was getting small and large again, almost undulating.  It was insane.  If you're not feeling like super neurological weirdo soup though I would say you're probably clear of having one, you also would get extremely confused beforehand.

 

Hopefully we will both be able to exercise again soon, I'll never take it for granted again that's for sure!!

Same here, I do get weird urges when my body pressure is bad like my body will pop but I never paced or had the terror. I would have weird surges, burning, but for some reason my symptoms are a lot better when I am lying down. Some of them calm down. 
 

I know it’s not a seizure but jest like an electrical storm, short-circuiting, and it feels like some attack is going to strike me or like I am going to pass out or go crazy. 
 

Oh yes, I would love to go for a walk again… My walks were my saving grace. 

[[Ct...]]

On 21/02/2024 at 00:57, [[S...] said:

Hi guys 💗  healing wishes to you all.  I just came to ask a question.  I have had my injury for a little over a year now and have been CT off benzos 7 months now. 

 

The first 9 months of this my symptoms were almost all mental and it was hell on earth.  Really really bad.  I don't need to describe it, I'm sure you all understand.  I really had no physical symptoms tho, which was strange to me.  

 

Now, they are almost ALL physical.  It's insane but I am able to handle this with a clear mind finally thank God, I still have my moments but the second to second mental torture is over.  It is still hard to live though as I am dealing with a bunch of crap, spine tingling, rls, whole body aching, inner pressure, burning, heart palps, etc.  Didn't have any of these really until the mental started to improve. 

 

Has this happened to anyone else?  It almost feels like a separate injury and that's what scares me.  I've also been tapering ADs slowly bcuz I had/have akathisia and wanted to be off everything to have the best shot at getting rid of that.  OH yeah, and that flipped too.  When my aka flares it's all physical now as in restless limbs and spine knawing instead of the agitation and restless energy (thank GOD).  anyways, I have the ADs down to very low doses now, 2.05mg Mirtazapine and 3.4mg Celexa sooo maybe that has something to do with it?  

 

Anyone else had this shift from physical to mental?  Also, is it normal for the whole body to aches like this?  I don't see that symptom too often.  Thank you!!

@[So...] I see that you have been tapering Mirt slowly. How have you been doing that? My 15 mg pill is tiny.