Updose or Reinstate Useful?

[[Kh...]]

Can’t believe I am asking. Feel so ashamed and failing. Some of you have been kind enough to follow my process - 4 months of taper that seemed reasonable and led by my bodys reaction and symptoms or lack thereof. Off only a couple of days and wow I am hit hard.  Weird that stopping would have this immediate impact.  Maybe cuz I took with ambien on a long flight, don’t know.  Would going back on some Valium would make the pain in my head go away.  Wow this sucks.  Could go back to 2 mg or something but it seems counterintuitive as I know I will have to taper again and not sure it would help.  Anybody have experience in this ?  I am in a very bad place right now.

Edited February 16 by [Kh...]

[[je...]]

There's no reason to be ashamed for suffering and asking for help. I'm so sorry you're going through this. I looked at your history and it seemed like you managed your taper fairly well. If it were me I would not reinstate. Usually reinstatement is done in the hopes to rectify a rapid taper. I'm hoping this is a setback you'll recover from. But only you know how tough the pain is. If you need to do it, we'll be there for you. 

Whatever you do, you're going to be okay. 

[[ne...]]

I would not reinstate. I did and regret it because I did an 8 month long taper that was completely pointless IMO. Hang in there and use the group! 

[[...]]

@[Kh...], an intensive headache of any kind is unbearable. I do understand what you are going through right now( I was there too. I usually gave myself 2-3 days to grit my teeth and wait it out. Don't know how i survived but the third day was always a tiny bit better and then again... I kept a half of the pill of diazepam somewhere nearby just in case but luckily it didn't come in use. 

I think if you can somehow stand the pain, it's better to hold on and not reinstate. But only you know whether it's real. Wish you as little pain as possible!

Edited February 16 by [...]

[[Bu...]]

@[Kh...],  some of the worst days for me were the ones following the day I got off.  Please don't feel ashamed, you have nothing to be ashamed of.  And you are not a failure, no matter what you decide to do.  This is so hard and we are all just trying to find our way.  You have everyone's support. ❤

[[Nu...]]

On 16/02/2024 at 16:46, [[B...] said:

@[Kh...],  some of the worst days for me were the ones following the day I got off.  Please don't feel ashamed, you have nothing to be ashamed of.  And you are not a failure, no matter what you decide to do.  This is so hard and we are all just trying to find our way.  You have everyone's support. ❤

Wonderful post here. Agreed totally -- no need to feel ashamed and you are not a failure. This is a massive struggle for the strongest. The fact you are here, fighting this, says a ton about your courage and strength.

I was watching a Mark Horowitz video earlier and he made a good point. If your last reduction was reasonable, then he's inclined to give the recommendation to tough it out.

You have to find your own way and sometimes your gut is right, whichever way you choose. Only you know your journey. Hope us and this forum helps, even in the slightest.

Edited February 18 by [Nu...]

[[Kh...]]

Thanks everyone for kind and supportive words.  Managed to get some rest and head ache subsided.  Without adding benzo.  Hanging in there.  Still dealing with ear pressure and tinnitus. As I have said before I swear shingles vaccine caused auditory issues that began before I started a taper.  Wish and hope it’s benzo related cuz that might mean it would go away.  One day at a time.  🙏🙏

Edited February 17 by [Kh...]