Desperate member , benzo withdrawals , tolerance , many symptoms, see no realistic solutions

[[...]]

Hi , new member , I posted also in different category-health - would like more exposure.  I take ativan daily since July 2023 doses 0.5 -2 mg for insomnia . It was prescribed to me with antidepressants trials , I realized too late that ativan is a wrong med and not agreeing with me ,but now am stuck , built tolerance and started Wd , I experience many bad symptoms ,loosing weight , insomnia ,pains and more , getting to desperate point , appetite diminishing can't stabilized very low weight. 

Before giving up l would like to know if I heave realistic solution, because not sleeping ( recently notice shakes quite a bit ,insomnia?and further weight loss would be dangerous 

Doctor thinks that taper is not possible since my original anxiety is still strong and I personally think that ativan contributed to AD failures , but doc still think I should take something for anxiety first , but problem is that ativan doesn't agree with other meds in my body

Would like to know honest opinion , similar problem , maybe there is something I could do realistically ,I am desperate and hopless and don't see solutions for myself 

Last week was very tough ,wanting me to quit , l am handicapped because of this situation and familystruggles too. Also my thyroid condition hard to control now. I don't think I continue like this much longer and don't want to increase ativan either because higher doses only somewhat help but med don't agree with me and I noticed too late 

Anything I could do because I don't see solutions,  am trapped in unsolvable situation,  that's my opinion .

Thanks if anyone willing to reply 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited February 14 by [...]

[[Br...]]

Hello @[...] and welcome to BenzoBuddies.  We're glad you found us.  You'll find good information here and support from others who understand what you're going through.

Please tell us more about your situation.  It will help us know better how to help you.  How many times a day are you dosing Ativan?  How much is each dose?  Are you taking the same total dose every day? What time of day is each dose?  Have you ever taken and stopped a benzo previously?  Sorry to throw so many questions at you but these details are helpful.

We're glad you're here,

Brighterday

[[Ma...]]

Can they do something to help your thyroid situation? That in itself causes anxiety. Maybe you can address that first?

[[...]]

@[Br...]hi thanks 

Since July 2023 I have been taking ativan every day , it was prescribed to me for insomnia when I started lexapro, and back then I used doses 0.5 -0.75 every night. Then after 2 months it was decided that lexapro is not effective enough and I was changing med to different one and the hell broke loose there, lots of side effects , had to use 1-2mg to sleep , sometimes during the day , not daily though. And I changed dr who tried remeron to help with sleep and weight loss which worked somewhat (I used less  ativan for sleep about 0.75 mg and nothing during the day )but I got heart palpitations and stopped.  Never occurred to me but maybe it was ativan withdrawals,  i don't know but at that  point I decided to only go with ativan and see if things calm down, still had anxiety and insomnia and my doses where 1-1.5 mg , rarely 2mg but I always tried to keep it as low as possible.  Currently I am between 1 and 1.5mg.but recently get very little sleep with these doses and condition worsens fast , I lose weight,  pains ,weakness,  depression, anxiety, sweats, memory issues, poor digestion,  constipation, abdominal pain/cramps like sensation , have to force food , no appetite. I feel desperate and petrified that this downward spiral won't stop. I also have thyroid condition,  take hormones but cannot tell which symptoms come from thyroid and which from ativan. I just learned that ativan works negatively on thyroid but can t stop cold turkey, even decreased dose makes symptoms unbearable . I would rather not increase the dose , and take it 1 day. Urgent care doctor gave me xanax in June 2023 temporarily till I see my dr and used it 2-3weeks no problem 0.25 -0.5 mg for insomnia mainly and regret not continuing it because I think I had better tolerance to it and when I realized how harmful ativan is for me , it's too late . I'm worsening overall  fast,  Dr thinks I should take antidepressants but don't think I can tolerate them, and weight loss is abig problem , I'm getting weaker and pretty much homebound, which I wasn't before starting treatment. I'm very scared not sure how going to handle this nightmare. 

So it was fluctuating since July 2023, currently is for bedtime, doses 1mg -1.5 mg ,I try to use the lowest dose. Don't mix with other benzos.  Tried to decrease the dose about month ago to 0.75 mg for 3 nights and it didn't go well , I had to go back to 1-1.5 mg . I don't know if I even have a solution to this.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited February 15 by [...]

[[...]]

@[Ma...] It is long story, I put more details in description . I do take thyroid hormon, think that ativan works against it and appetite too. Since July 2023 I take it for insomnia and now is stopping to work and I cannot stop cold turkey,  it's dangerous,  doctor never warned me. As I said it is longer, complicated story and I feel trapped and worsening week by week .

[[De...]]

I would try to break out your plan in terms of “phases” and it sounds like you are seeking stabilization. That typically starts with being able to sleep and function. It sounds like you were potentially somewhat stable at 2mg, but reluctant to take that much? The MOST important thing right now is that you stabilize. There won’t be any progress until you’re able to first get your feet under you for a consistent stretch. Then you have something to work with. Do you feel like you’d feel better at the moment if you took 2mg? 2.5mg? I think once you can stabilize, you can then think about a long term taper which can be done super slowly, but it has to start at the base dosage where you can function IMO. 

it’s also important to remember adivan is just one type of benzo and considered fast acting. Other benzos can affect you differently and longer acting. It might be worth switching at your current state if no dosage is working or you’re unwilling to go up to 2/2.5mg. 

[[De...]]

Another thing to think about is “antidepressants” are far and wide ranging. SSRIs have helped me so far but it took quite a bit of trial and error prior to find the right one. An SSRI will help regulate seratonin and all the balancing chemicals but every one works differently. You can always try something and stop taking it if it’s not working while you are working through your benzo stablization/taper. 

I take one specifically designed for anxiety, but thats obviously unique to me. I was also very hesitant like you to add “another medication” onto the stack I was already taking, but it might be helpful in your situation to help you get to stable. In a lot of cases, these meds can be 50/50. Either they help, or you feel nothing, so the risk of trying in your case might be worth exploring. 

[[...]]

@[De...]

I originally started with lexapro in july 2023 for severe anxiety and benzo was supposed to be temporary only till ssri has full effect , but after 2 months I was switched to different one because of not sleeping and symptoms that I now think were bearable , I was functional ,worst anxiety was controlled but didn't reach full stability , and desicion was to switch to a different ssri , paxil and at that time symptoms got worse, appetite significantly decreased and more benzo for sleeping,  even during the day sometimes. After a month and increased dose eating was harder and weight loss started , anxiety still present, only slightly controlled ,so my dr referred me to psychiatrist who did fast taper and prescribed remeron since it's good for sleep and appetite,  weight gain. Except it didn't make me sleep, slightly groggy but I could cut benzo quite a bit,  to 0.75mg and nothing during the day but I had many side effects,  weakness , muscle spasms,arrhythmia with high heart rate and got scared and tapered . Maybe it was benzo withdrawals , I don't know.  But since ssri switch nothing work normal , so I decided to go with benzo only and see if things settle down.  

I came to the conclusion that ativan is not good for me,but I don't know if I could switch after so many months . Looks to me that I may have sensitivity to drug switches,  my brain can not accommodate so fast.  I don't know ...Psychiatrist prescribed prozac but my concern is that with my significant weight loss and insomnia tolerance of med is questionable.  Also he said that ativan is a depresant, so works kind of against antidepressants  it's not a good much , but he also said that if I taper benzo now , not having any anxiety control , it will not work . So I'm totally helpless,  stuck in a bad situation. 

As far as increasing benzo, it will give me more side effects too and I think that it decreases my appetite and affects my thyroid condition I think. Past half a year has been terrible and don't see a solution if I truly have sensitivity to meds switches . I know some people do it but didn't work for me ,plus wrong benzo , so lost 

Mind me asking what works for you , I know it's very specific for everyone

And agree with you , I  have no stability , no sleep weight, loss , worsening 

 

 

 

 

Edited February 15 by [...]

[[De...]]

I’m really sorry you’re in this mess. I’m there with you and it sucks. 

So typically with med switches, from what I’ve learned, is you do them slowly. You wouldn’t switch entirely off one med and flip to another if done right. You’d gradually reduce one and transition to another, like Valium or whatever. I’m not a doctor but that’s what I’ve read. I’m also not suggesting switching meds, but you should look at Ashton manual to understand how it’s done. The most common change I believe is moving from a fast acting benzo to Valium, but I could be wrong.

I also don’t think that’s correct that Ativan will work “against” an anti-depressant or SSRI. They don’t work off the same GABA receptors, to my understanding. Your “tolerance” to Ativan wouldn’t necessarily be related to your bodies reception to another SSRI. I’m not trying to suggest adding another drug, but they all work very differently. 

Remember what your going through would be normal for anyone. 

The one thing I hear in your post is a lot of rapid changes, ups and downs on different medications, which is totally normal as you’re really just trying to achieve a sense of peace and sleep and calmness; like we all are. When you don’t have that, we tend to scramble and try to find anything that works to help us sleep and function.

As to your question on what “works” for me. that’s hard to say because I’m in my own mess currently but I finally have clarity on what I need to do.  im slow tapering off clonazepam(.5mg), on buspirone (likely for a while), and I take seroquil for sleep. I recently cold turkeyed from ambien due to extreme negative side effects. I don’t drink, but do occasional CBD. I’ve been working hard to develop my external coping skills, primarily running, reading and video games. I am here on this forum because I am tapering from clonazepam and it’s very difficult. My primary resource has been my wife through this fuckin mess.

Can I ask if you have a support network outside of your doctor (friends, family, therapist..etc)?

 

[[De...]]

Also, do you control your medication management at home? Do you have someone to help you distribute medications, provide outside feedback, or help you talk to doctors? The one key thing I’ve learned when you’re destabilized is navigating doctor/psych conversations can be extremely difficult. If you have someone close to you that can be your voice while you are weak it would help immensely. Or even just someone to be with you while you talk with your care team.

YOU WILL GET BETTER. You’re here on this forum talking to us, and that’s a huge step forward. 

[[...]]

@[De...] i have only my family,  no friends or advocate,  my husband takes me for appointments , I make my decisions based on symptoms when I tried new meds . 

Yes,  it was a period of rapid changes , I was desperate to get better, but with every change I was doing  worse, so my doc referred me to psychiatrist who suggested remeron since it works on sleep, mood and weight, but it had little effect on me. 

It was suggested to me that these rapid changes irritated my nervous system,it happens to some people and now I will be poor responder. Doctor thinks I have to push through new med regardless side effects and he doesn't recommend getting of Ativan because with uncontrolled anxiety would be difficult.  

So , it seems to me that for some reason my response to meds are poor with lots of side effects and I figured too late that ativan has negative effects on me too. 

I know that ssri work different than benzo but psychiatrist said on the last visit that ativan is a depresant, working against ssri ,so there is some struggle here . He doesn't want me to take sleeping meds because of potential breathing problems w benzos . 

I am getting weaker, basically homebound and loosing weight week by week which is scary ,  dangerously low weight, so trying another ssri would be risky,quite often they cause weight loss , at least initially  and increased anxiety,  so for me would be another insult as I struggle to keep my weight with poor results as it is now .

Very desperate 

Seems like you can change meds easier,  which helps and are able to run.and deal with things .

I'm stuck at home and if my suspicions are correct, may not have a chance with new med which is scary 

I did hear ashton method , I was wandering if it's possible to switch to xanax , or it's to late . When my anxiety started urgent care doc put me on xanax and I tolerated ir much better , I regret not asking my doctor to continue it when started ssri,  but I was so anxious at that time I didn't think throughly abut things . Actually for a long time couldn't figure out that ativan doesn't work with me and now I am afraid to quit too fast ,not to get in trouble 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[[dj...]]

Has your doctor mentioned anything about anticonvulsants like Trileptal or Lamictal?  My doctor prefers those because he says antidepressants are often too activating for people facing benzo withdrawal.  
 

Are you still taking Remeron?  If so, at what dose?  That was actually more helpful for me at really low doses.  At higher doses I got tachardyia and it actually made my anxiety worse.  
 

It is true that benzos can pretty much defeat whatever the antidepressants are doing.  It’s just not that it’s a sedative.  Continued use of benzos can tamper serotonin production. 

[[Ma...]]

Many switch to Xanax for their taper. Perhaps give that a try.

In regards to an a/d ask your doctor for a gene test. That will tell you what is the right medication for your system. I can’t take SSRI’s. If I had taken that test years ago it would have kept me from suffering the horrible side effects and trying 1 after another to no avail.

[[dj...]]

Just now, [[M...] said:

Many switch to Xanax for their taper. Perhaps give that a try.

In regards to an a/d ask your doctor for a gene test. That will tell you what is the right medication for your system. I can’t take SSRI’s. If I had taken that test years ago it would have kept me from suffering the horrible side effects and trying 1 after another to no avail.

You mean Valium?  Xanax is the last thing you want to be on because it has the shortest half-life and withdrawals will kick in sooner. 

[[Ma...]]

Yes 🤦‍♀️. My brain, my BRAIN!!!

[[...]]

@[Ma...] @[dj...]

Actually I was wandering if it's possible to switch to xanax at this point,  since when I tried it before for about 2 werks I tolerated well, but dr started ssri and ativan combo and i didn't like it and it led to few drugs changes that were horrible,  never could stabilize with lots of side effects . I was so stressed at that time I wasn't thinking much, wanted to get better. 

I don't know if it's safe to swap benzos after so many months,  ativan has bad effect on me . I don't want to increase but afraid of serious reactions and severe Withdrawals 

I hear valium would work similar to ativan 

[[...]]

@[dj...]

No he didn't mention these meds to me.  He did say that ativan will work against antidepressant but still wants me to try prozac now , I m reluctant since it can be aggravating for anxiety 

I took remeron back in November I think and it did let me cut ativan dose but I got lots of weakness , back pain , restless legs and doses 7,5 didn't let me sleep , quiet anxiety little bit and 15 mg did gave me heart rate 120-130 with arrhythmia so I stopped after 2 doses of 15 mg . But it did help with sleep with less ativan , lower doses of remeron are more sedating and higher more activating.  

My whole journey has  been horrible, slowly loosing weight , function,  I am home bound now . 

Body responds to so many triggers that it petrifies me , even change in temp is a trigger.  I have autoimmune condition so it may be additional problem . For sure Ativan works against my body and I am stuck.   

What happens when benzo dose is not increased once tolerance is reached,  what reactions can appear? 

Doctor thinks that I need to address anxiety because it's the root of the problem according to him , but any med I take with Ativan makes side effects worse and they cannot work properly.  

Xanax may be different in this respect,  helping short time . 

I think I'm in no win situation here , so scary place 

 

[[De...]]

Gosh I’m so sorry. Just try to remember, this is not you. The drugs are doing this and you will get better. Believe that.