Inner restlessness

[[wi...]]

Not a good description. Restlessness is a baby version of this. Internal aka is more fitting. 
 

Super irritated, everything is setting me off. I look calm, but am way beyond anything close to calm. 
 

I can’t decide what I despise more.. this or anhedonia. 
 

I’m also really afraid to be alone, yet so damn uncomfortable being around people. This is hell, seriously.

feel like there are snakes moving underneath my skin with prickly bubbles painfully bursting toward the surface. Like there is toxic carbonation flowing in my limbs(mostly).

if this weren’t happening to me, I’d probably not believe this was possible.

there is NO comfort for this . It’s ungodly. Hope it passes sooner than later .

 

 

[[Wi...]]

1 hour ago, [[w...] said:

Not a good description. Restlessness is a baby version of this. Internal aka is more fitting. 
 

Super irritated, everything is setting me off. I look calm, but am way beyond anything close to calm. 
 

I can’t decide what I despise more.. this or anhedonia. 
 

I’m also really afraid to be alone, yet so damn uncomfortable being around people. This is hell, seriously.

feel like there are snakes moving underneath my skin with prickly bubbles painfully bursting toward the surface. Like there is toxic carbonation flowing in my limbs(mostly).

if this weren’t happening to me, I’d probably not believe this was possible.

there is NO comfort for this . It’s ungodly. Hope it passes sooner than later .

I have this too. For me it’s a feeling like I am poisoned and like there is this disgusting commotion/buzzing under my skin especially in my upper body. Inca almost hear it yet it’s not tinnitus. And there is electric current from the base of my neck. Absolutely hate this. 

[[wi...]]

But do you feel very agitated and kinda insane when it hits? There’s a horrible mental and emotional state that is part of it. I want to scream!!

[[...]]

1 hour ago, [[w...] said:

Not a good description. Restlessness is a baby version of this. Internal aka is more fitting. 
 

Super irritated, everything is setting me off. I look calm, but am way beyond anything close to calm. 
 

I can’t decide what I despise more.. this or anhedonia. 
 

I’m also really afraid to be alone, yet so damn uncomfortable being around people. This is hell, seriously.

feel like there are snakes moving underneath my skin with prickly bubbles painfully bursting toward the surface. Like there is toxic carbonation flowing in my limbs(mostly).

if this weren’t happening to me, I’d probably not believe this was possible.

there is NO comfort for this . It’s ungodly. Hope it passes sooner than later .

I can relate to your snakes with bubbles. They ara crawling mostly in my legs. All the time for more than a year now. I'm sort of used to it.

[[wi...]]

There’s a mental anguish that always goes with it. It is part of the symptom, not my reaction to it.

its like insanity instantly happens 

[[ge...]]

I’ve got it too. It’s horrible. Mine is very mental and only a little bit in my body. It’s hard to believe it’s still benzo related at this point, but I’m trying hard to believe it will resolve one day soon.

That’s part of what I struggle with. Do I go out into the world and interact with people like an exposure therapy approach, which I try pretty much every day with really no results. But the opposite doesn’t do much either, just sitting at home on my ipad feeling completely restless. It’s hard to know what to do. On top of the anhedonia and dp/dr, it’s so difficult.

Edited February 8 by [ge...]
Wanted to add a thought

[[...]]

58 minutes ago, [[w...] said:

There’s a mental anguish that always goes with it. It is part of the symptom, not my reaction to it.

its like insanity instantly happens 

Yes, i'm sure it is a symptom. My headaches are clouse to kind of insanity too. They go with mental tension and suchlike. 

Edited February 8 by [...]

[[Wi...]]

1 hour ago, [[w...] said:

But do you feel very agitated and kinda insane when it hits? There’s a horrible mental and emotional state that is part of it. I want to scream!!

For me it’s more physically distressing than mentally but I do get agitation and very bad impatience.

[[wi...]]

Appreciate hearing everyone’s experiences. It really helps me feel I’m not ready to be institutionalized. 😵‍💫

[[Wi...]]

5 minutes ago, [[w...] said:

Appreciate hearing everyone’s experiences. It really helps me feel I’m not ready to be institutionalized. 😵‍💫

You definitely aren’t! 

[Guest [...]]

Hi @[wi...]

I can’t say I experience the same, nor anywhere near to the degree that you experience it, but I do get the inner agitation and restlessness even as I taper. I think it’s probably similar, but just not as intense in terms of the mental anguish, and I don’t notice it as much during the day when I’m up and about, although there are times when I pace the house because I can’t sit still, but they are often only short periods, unless I feel the onset and pull into mulling over difficult emotions. 

Mostly I experience it physically rather than mentally/emotionally. I can be laying in bed thinking ‘thank god, my body feels reasonably relaxed’ and then it hits me out of nowhere (the agitation and restlessness in my body).

I had experienced this prior to being benzo’d in terms of my gut related issues. Many years ago I began experiencing RLS which gradually became something I labelled RBS (restless body syndrome) since it had extended from just my legs to throughout my entire body. 

It does get worse and also appears to become increasingly mental if I get caught up in difficult emotions (emotional trauma) and the connected thoughts, which are unavoidable for me at times. 

Obviously what you are experiencing is considerably more intense and distressing than what I experience, and I really hope things turn a corner for you soon, trusting these symptoms will inevitably turn at some point. 

I know it doesn’t change things for you right now, but please know we are all pulling for you as you get through this intensely distressing symptoms and phase of your recovery. 

Sending you much love and support ❤️

 

 

 

[[wi...]]

It’s so very intense. 
It undoes me on every level.

🫂❤️

[[Bo...]]

Righty there with you…. Hate it and has caused me to suffer much more the last few months than necessary bc ended up in psych wards and now have freaking Mirtazapine to taper from. It’s made it worse for me so not sure how I am going to make it thru taper.

5 1/2 mo off slow taper of K.

Hang in there, do whatever you can to bring yiur nervous system down bc stress can make it worse and then get some of the agitation out with a punching bag if that helps, throwing ice cubes at the side of your house, scream into pillows, take a shower if that’s comforting at all, a bath, scream in your car, take inflatable bat or pillow and hit the bed or couch, whatever you can do as the insanity starts to come on. 
 
hugs and here for yall. 

[[Wi...]]

3 hours ago, [[B...] said:

Righty there with you…. Hate it and has caused me to suffer much more the last few months than necessary bc ended up in psych wards and now have freaking Mirtazapine to taper from. It’s made it worse for me so not sure how I am going to make it thru taper.

5 1/2 mo off slow taper of K.

Hang in there, do whatever you can to bring yiur nervous system down bc stress can make it worse and then get some of the agitation out with a punching bag if that helps, throwing ice cubes at the side of your house, scream into pillows, take a shower if that’s comforting at all, a bath, scream in your car, take inflatable bat or pillow and hit the bed or couch, whatever you can do as the insanity starts to come on. 
 
hugs and here for yall. 

How have you been doing lately? 

[[...]]

Oh I feel that. I got that too.

It is one of my three most terrible symptoms.

I am with you.

[[Ca...]]

12 hours ago, [[w...] said:

Not a good description. Restlessness is a baby version of this. Internal aka is more fitting. 
 

Super irritated, everything is setting me off. I look calm, but am way beyond anything close to calm. 
 

I can’t decide what I despise more.. this or anhedonia. 
 

I’m also really afraid to be alone, yet so damn uncomfortable being around people. This is hell, seriously.

feel like there are snakes moving underneath my skin with prickly bubbles painfully bursting toward the surface. Like there is toxic carbonation flowing in my limbs(mostly).

if this weren’t happening to me, I’d probably not believe this was possible.

there is NO comfort for this . It’s ungodly. Hope it passes sooner than later .

That's a horrible state to be in. Stress gets things going. Then I might panic, then go through rage, confusion, fear, anxiety/depression and grief. Lot of other stuff too but the emotions really take a lot out of me. Just a nightmare, no way out but through time. 

[[sh...]]

9 hours ago, [[W...] said:

Hi @[wi...]

I can’t say I experience the same, nor anywhere near to the degree that you experience it, but I do get the inner agitation and restlessness even as I taper. I think it’s probably similar, but just not as intense in terms of the mental anguish, and I don’t notice it as much during the day when I’m up and about, although there are times when I pace the house because I can’t sit still, but they are often only short periods, unless I feel the onset and pull into mulling over difficult emotions. 

Mostly I experience it physically rather than mentally/emotionally. I can be laying in bed thinking ‘thank god, my body feels reasonably relaxed’ and then it hits me out of nowhere (the agitation and restlessness in my body).

I had experienced this prior to being benzo’d in terms of my gut related issues. Many years ago I began experiencing RLS which gradually became something I labelled RBS (restless body syndrome) since it had extended from just my legs to throughout my entire body. 

It does get worse and also appears to become increasingly mental if I get caught up in difficult emotions (emotional trauma) and the connected thoughts, which are unavoidable for me at times. 

Obviously what you are experiencing is considerably more intense and distressing than what I experience, and I really hope things turn a corner for you soon, trusting these symptoms will inevitably turn at some point. 

I know it doesn’t change things for you right now, but please know we are all pulling for you as you get through this intensely distressing symptoms and phase of your recovery. 

Sending you much love and support ❤️

I can very much relate… the RLS is more a RAL (arms) but also in my whole body sometimes, especially at night. 

I have known the RLS for my whole life but only when I was very tired and couldn’t go to bed (visitors..) or when I was ill, migraines… but now it is much more intense and much more often. 

But I as I suffer from severe insomnia, being tired all the time and having a hypersensitive nervous system it is no wonder that the restlessness is so bad… 

Lets hope that our nervous system will calm down soon and these awful signs of healing will disappear 🙏

I wish you all much strength and a swift healing 🍀

 

[[Re...]]

I have both physical and mental experience. I have a "benzo" thought attack, than I have a reaction to it in my chest and head (like a woosh..), like an electric current through my body. It has been relentless.

The other one I have is irritability, but with the same sensation. I hate this, I am not like this. I am a very patient person, really. And I react the same way to fear...I never even thought that such an experience is possible.

[[Ka...]]

Sorry it’s relentless. Pretty much similar here  @[Re...] these benzos have such huge impact and affect us in a wide ranging way. I feel I’ve inadvertently messed up my CNS, or rather taken meds (albeit in good faith but was clueless) that turns out can ultimately be incredibly harmful. Wishing you well 

[[ro...]]

17 hours ago, [[w...] said:

There’s a mental anguish that always goes with it. It is part of the symptom, not my reaction to it.

its like insanity instantly happens 

Yes. All of this and there aren’t words to adequately describe 

[[wi...]]

Just now, [[r...] said:

Yes. All of this and there aren’t words to adequately describe 

No, there aren’t.

Thanks for sharing. It helps me so much knowing I’m not alone and others have the same or similar experiences.  
 

 

[[ro...]]

4 minutes ago, [[w...] said:

No, there aren’t.

Thanks for sharing. It helps me so much knowing I’m not alone and others have the same or similar experiences.  
 

I’ve read a lot of your info. We have many similarities man. 

[[...]]

 

 Lately the pshycosis and anhedonia feelings lifted a bit (window?)and I get episodes of internal vibrating with high anxiety.(edge of panic)

" I can’t decide what I despise more.. this or anhedonia. "

The vibrating and anxiety REALLY suck but I'm trying to believe it's the next phase of healing...

[[ro...]]

19 hours ago, [[w...] said:

Not a good description. Restlessness is a baby version of this. Internal aka is more fitting. 
 

Super irritated, everything is setting me off. I look calm, but am way beyond anything close to calm. 
 

I can’t decide what I despise more.. this or anhedonia. 
 

I’m also really afraid to be alone, yet so damn uncomfortable being around people. This is hell, seriously.

feel like there are snakes moving underneath my skin with prickly bubbles painfully bursting toward the surface. Like there is toxic carbonation flowing in my limbs(mostly).

if this weren’t happening to me, I’d probably not believe this was possible.

there is NO comfort for this . It’s ungodly. Hope it passes sooner than later .

I could have wrote this. 

[[ji...]]

i get the same everytime my symptoms are more intence.   like my entire upper body is trembling or vibrating on the inside.  it instantly sends my anxiety overboard which then makes the vibrating worse.  visious circle.   hope you get some improvement soon~~jill