Help. I am so scared.

[[ca...]]

Hi

my story is a little particular in the way that was started this mess was an interaction between flagyl and benzos, and then being cool turkeyd three times in the same months by doctors who would not recognize withdrawals.

With the medication interaction, it doesn’t matter how long or how much you have been taking benzos, but for the sake of accuracy, I started taking them in 2018, and was taking them on and off for sleep 0,5mg-1mg/night.

On January second, I was given 3mg while I was on Flagyl, and that’s when all things broke loose. A few days later, I started having crazy heart palpitations, didn’t sleep all night and crazy shortness of breath. I was seeing my family doctor who prescribed more benzos as he thought my nervous system needed a little help……….. took benzos again for 10 days. They obviously didn’t really work well so I stopped taking them as I have done so many times in the past without any issue.

this time, it was crazy: I became almost psychotic. Would pace all night, no sleep, shortness of breathe, heart palpitations, sweating, the worse anxiety/panic attacks I have never experienced in my life, literally wishing for death. Muscle ache. Joint pain. Noise and smell sensitivity. I have lost 10 pounds. I have internal tremors in my entire body.

I went to the hospital. Obviously. And guess what they gave me? Diazepam. 🤡

Again, I didn’t feel good on the diazepam so I didn’t take any more.

I am one week in this third cold turkey withdrawal, and I feel like I am gonna die. I can’t see myself going like this. This acute withdrawal caused by the interaction is the scariest thing ever.

The question now is: should I be put on a benzo now so I start a proper taper, or is it too late? It’s so complex as the side effect of the drug interaction is to send someone into acute.
 

I don’t know what to do, but I need some relief. Propranolol gives me some. But mentally, I am already drained. And it is just starting… 

[[er...]]

1 hour ago, [[c...] said:

Hi

my story is a little particular in the way that was started this mess was an interaction between flagyl and benzos, and then being cool turkeyd three times in the same months by doctors who would not recognize withdrawals.

With the medication interaction, it doesn’t matter how long or how much you have been taking benzos, but for the sake of accuracy, I started taking them in 2018, and was taking them on and off for sleep 0,5mg-1mg/night.

On January second, I was given 3mg while I was on Flagyl, and that’s when all things broke loose. A few days later, I started having crazy heart palpitations, didn’t sleep all night and crazy shortness of breath. I was seeing my family doctor who prescribed more benzos as he thought my nervous system needed a little help……….. took benzos again for 10 days. They obviously didn’t really work well so I stopped taking them as I have done so many times in the past without any issue.

this time, it was crazy: I became almost psychotic. Would pace all night, no sleep, shortness of breathe, heart palpitations, sweating, the worse anxiety/panic attacks I have never experienced in my life, literally wishing for death. Muscle ache. Joint pain. Noise and smell sensitivity. I have lost 10 pounds. I have internal tremors in my entire body.

I went to the hospital. Obviously. And guess what they gave me? Diazepam. 🤡

Again, I didn’t feel good on the diazepam so I didn’t take any more.

I am one week in this third cold turkey withdrawal, and I feel like I am gonna die. I can’t see myself going like this. This acute withdrawal caused by the interaction is the scariest thing ever.

The question now is: should I be put on a benzo now so I start a proper taper, or is it too late? It’s so complex as the side effect of the drug interaction is to send someone into acute.
 

I don’t know what to do, but I need some relief. Propranolol gives me some. But mentally, I am already drained. And it is just starting… 

I can't believe no one has chimed I. On this post... I been there.. it's so scary.. I really thought my life was over while going through that... I must say nothing helped until I went to a detox and they taperd me down some. Even then I still needed more time.. I stared to feel some what normal when the benzos I was taking  finally leveled out... then I went back to a detox and taperd down again and now I'm 5 months clean ... it's a long process but you can do it.. there's a Facebook page where you can talk to people that would actually respond to your post..  I'll get you the name soon.. hope you are ok..

[[er...]]

Just now, [[e...] said:

I can't believe no one has chimed I. On this post... I been there.. it's so scary.. I really thought my life was over while going through that... I must say nothing helped until I went to a detox and they taperd me down some. Even then I still needed more time.. I stared to feel some what normal when the benzos I was taking  finally leveled out... then I went back to a detox and taperd down again and now I'm 5 months clean ... it's a long process but you can do it.. there's a Facebook page where you can talk to people that would actually respond to your post..  I'll get you the name soon.. hope you are ok..

It's called benzo warriors community on facebook.. it's a little easier to interact with people there..

[[ca...]]

Hi Eric,

Thank you so much for your answer. I was sent to the hospital and despite telling them that my I know I am in withdrawal, they tell me it’s my my head. Isn’t it crazy? Sorry, I am new here, so I don’t know yet if that attitude is something common for doctors?

i am actually looking for a detox centre. I am definitely in tolerance and I am just scared that because of that medication that started that awful drug interaction, I won’t be able to reach stabilization? Part of me is thinking I have done it for a month and it might be over soon, but part of me knows my body hasn’t been reacting like before.

[[ns...]]

34 minutes ago, [[e...] said:

I can't believe no one has chimed I. On this post... I been there.. it's so scary.. I really thought my life was over while going through that... I must say nothing helped until I went to a detox and they taperd me down some. Even then I still needed more time.. I stared to feel some what normal when the benzos I was taking  finally leveled out... then I went back to a detox and taperd down again and now I'm 5 months clean ... it's a long process but you can do it.. there's a Facebook page where you can talk to people that would actually respond to your post..  I'll get you the name soon.. hope you are ok..

Give us a minute ok lol

[[er...]]

22 minutes ago, [[c...] said:

Hi Eric,

Thank you so much for your answer. I was sent to the hospital and despite telling them that my I know I am in withdrawal, they tell me it’s my my head. Isn’t it crazy? Sorry, I am new here, so I don’t know yet if that attitude is something common for doctors?

i am actually looking for a detox centre. I am definitely in tolerance and I am just scared that because of that medication that started that awful drug interaction, I won’t be able to reach stabilization? Part of me is thinking I have done it for a month and it might be over soon, but part of me knows my body hasn’t been reacting like before.

Doctors don't understand... unless you tell them the word B.I.N.D... It's in doctors language... 

[[ns...]]

Hi camel catelarose, I'm so sorry for what your going thru.  Ct isn't the best way for sure. Many doctors don't have a clue. I was forced into tapering and ended up protracted withdrawal and am now In paradoxical reaction to lorazapam.  I can't take it, it makes me sick buy have to taper or ct. So I'm tapering. 

It does sound like it could be possible to go on another benzo to see if it will stabilize you. It may or may not work but it did for me for 3 months. If I'd had known in advance that it only lasted 3 months I would have tapered down and got the process started. I had many of the same symptoms as you when on my forced quick taper and I thought i was going to die. I didn't have this community nor did I know I was in withdrawal. I thought something else was wrong with me but had no idea what.

Is there a doctor that will put u on a different benzo? Can u educate them on benzo withdrawal? There is information you can give a doctor to help them understand. 

I hope someone else chimes in with this information and offer support and suggestions on going back on a new benzo to get stabilized. 

We're here for u, ask anything,  there are knowledgeable people here and friends who are here to talk. 

At the right hand upper corner of your page, you find tabs. Go to staff, click on one of those. Ask if you can talk with someone here with some ideas on what might be the best course of action to take here ok

 

Ns

 

[[kn...]]

I would be very careful with the whole rehab facility thing.  Never heard from anyone who's gone that way and come out happy.  Your taper, free time, additional meds, and pocket book are all going to take a hit.  Plus these things don't come with warranties of any kind.  I worked as a mental health consultant and ombudsman who visited these places and spent much time with patients.  Their biggest complaints were concerning the Dr.'s.  Weird, demanding and very interested in taking over your life.  

 

[[ca...]]

I am very new here and new with this. I just don’t know what is the best to try and avoid having protracted withdrawal now. Unfortunately, I can’t go back in time and change what has happened. Things are actually getting worse for two days now as I believe that last diazepam is now slowly leaving my body.

I want to do what’s best for my brain and nervous system right now. I never thought I would go through this, ever.

Pushing through makes me really scared cause it’s already been so awful. Wondering though if I already started to heal despite that last diazepam given to me 6 days ago?

I am so so so so scared. I have never been this scared in my life.

[[ca...]]

56 minutes ago, [[k...] said:

I would be very careful with the whole rehab facility thing.  Never heard from anyone who's gone that way and come out happy.  Your taper, free time, additional meds, and pocket book are all going to take a hit.  Plus these things don't come with warranties of any kind.  I worked as a mental health consultant and ombudsman who visited these places and spent much time with patients.  Their biggest complaints were concerning the Dr.'s.  Weird, demanding and very interested in taking over your life.  

I didn’t taper. I CT. 3 Times in a month not knowing what the fuck was going on and thinking it was the antibiotic only that was doing that to me. Not thinking it was actually a reaction to both and that that reaction is because it send you to acute w/d. That’s so crazy. The nurse I was speaking to at the treatment facility, which is actually medical detox, told me I would most likely have to be put on a benzo again and start tapering. Doesn’t it make sense?

[[ca...]]

1 hour ago, [[n...] said:

Hi camel catelarose, I'm so sorry for what your going thru.  Ct isn't the best way for sure. Many doctors don't have a clue. I was forced into tapering and ended up protracted withdrawal and am now In paradoxical reaction to lorazapam.  I can't take it, it makes me sick buy have to taper or ct. So I'm tapering. 

It does sound like it could be possible to go on another benzo to see if it will stabilize you. It may or may not work but it did for me for 3 months. If I'd had known in advance that it only lasted 3 months I would have tapered down and got the process started. I had many of the same symptoms as you when on my forced quick taper and I thought i was going to die. I didn't have this community nor did I know I was in withdrawal. I thought something else was wrong with me but had no idea what.

Is there a doctor that will put u on a different benzo? Can u educate them on benzo withdrawal? There is information you can give a doctor to help them understand. 

I hope someone else chimes in with this information and offer support and suggestions on going back on a new benzo to get stabilized. 

We're here for u, ask anything,  there are knowledgeable people here and friends who are here to talk. 

At the right hand upper corner of your page, you find tabs. Go to staff, click on one of those. Ask if you can talk with someone here with some ideas on what might be the best course of action to take here ok

Ns

Hi NS,

I don’t know enough to educate them on it. I actually myself need direction. The medical detox I am talking about are planning on doing assessment and giving me a bed tomorrow and I can see the doctor and they are kind of specialized in this? I don’t know. I am just at a loss. I started having tinnitus a few days ago, I am jumpy and scared and have the worst panic attacks and I don’t want to live with internal tremors forever..!

i am just so scared..

[[ca...]]

1 hour ago, [[e...] said:

I can't believe no one has chimed I. On this post... I been there.. it's so scary.. I really thought my life was over while going through that... I must say nothing helped until I went to a detox and they taperd me down some. Even then I still needed more time.. I stared to feel some what normal when the benzos I was taking  finally leveled out... then I went back to a detox and taperd down again and now I'm 5 months clean ... it's a long process but you can do it.. there's a Facebook page where you can talk to people that would actually respond to your post..  I'll get you the name soon.. hope you are ok..

So some of your symptoms resolved? I don’t want to live like I am living right now. It’s so terrifying. The body stuff, mind, it’s the worse suffering ever.

[[er...]]

1 minute ago, [[c...] said:

So some of your symptoms resolved? I don’t want to live like I am living right now. It’s so terrifying. The body stuff, mind, it’s the worse suffering ever.

Yes a lot of them resolved and I can live life without major symptoms bothering me.. still a long process but it's manageable 

[[ca...]]

Just now, [[e...] said:

Yes a lot of them resolved and I can live life without major symptoms bothering me.. still a long process but it's manageable 

That’s encouraging. So basically it would be to be put on another benzo to get stabilized and then start tapering? If I don’t do that, basically, things might get worse from here? Lol. Wtf is this drug..! Crazy..

[[er...]]

1 hour ago, [[k...] said:

I would be very careful with the whole rehab facility thing.  Never heard from anyone who's gone that way and come out happy.  Your taper, free time, additional meds, and pocket book are all going to take a hit.  Plus these things don't come with warranties of any kind.  I worked as a mental health consultant and ombudsman who visited these places and spent much time with patients.  Their biggest complaints were concerning the Dr.'s.  Weird, demanding and very interested in taking over your life.  

I have.. almost 5 months off from a 6 year habit.. detox taperd me off in a course of 1month and 2 weeks..wasn't easy but I'm still clean and living life

[[ca...]]

Just now, [[e...] said:

I have.. almost 5 months off from a 6 year habit.. detox taperd me off in a course of 1month and 2 weeks..wasn't easy but I'm still clean and living life

And you actually tapered after almost going CT?

[[er...]]

Just now, [[c...] said:

That’s encouraging. So basically it would be to be put on another benzo to get stabilized and then start tapering? If I don’t do that, basically, things might get worse from here? Lol. Wtf is this drug..! Crazy..

Not saying that it will get worse necessarily but if you feel like you can't take it anymore then maybe you should go back... but even if you go back it might take some time for you to feel better... your body has to adjust..

[[er...]]

2 minutes ago, [[c...] said:

And you actually tapered after almost going CT?

I haven't touched a benzo in almost 5 months.. I was taperd in a detox facility 

[[ca...]]

2 hours ago, [[n...] said:

Hi camel catelarose, I'm so sorry for what your going thru.  Ct isn't the best way for sure. Many doctors don't have a clue. I was forced into tapering and ended up protracted withdrawal and am now In paradoxical reaction to lorazapam.  I can't take it, it makes me sick buy have to taper or ct. So I'm tapering. 

It does sound like it could be possible to go on another benzo to see if it will stabilize you. It may or may not work but it did for me for 3 months. If I'd had known in advance that it only lasted 3 months I would have tapered down and got the process started. I had many of the same symptoms as you when on my forced quick taper and I thought i was going to die. I didn't have this community nor did I know I was in withdrawal. I thought something else was wrong with me but had no idea what.

Is there a doctor that will put u on a different benzo? Can u educate them on benzo withdrawal? There is information you can give a doctor to help them understand. 

I hope someone else chimes in with this information and offer support and suggestions on going back on a new benzo to get stabilized. 

We're here for u, ask anything,  there are knowledgeable people here and friends who are here to talk. 

At the right hand upper corner of your page, you find tabs. Go to staff, click on one of those. Ask if you can talk with someone here with some ideas on what might be the best course of action to take here ok

Ns

Hi NS,

I don’t know enough to educate them on it. I actually myself need direction. The medical detox I am talking about are planning on doing assessment and giving me a bed tomorrow and I can see the doctor and they are kind of specialized in this? I don’t know. I am just at a loss. I started having tinnitus a few days ago, I am jumpy and scared and have the worst panic attacks and I don’t want to live with internal tremors forever..! Also, my head isn’t my head anymore. I am sure many will understand what I mean. Crazy shortness of breath and heart palpitations. Arg, this is frustrating and I am so sad.

And just so scared..

[[ns...]]

1 hour ago, [[c...] said:

Hi NS,

I don’t know enough to educate them on it. I actually myself need direction. The medical detox I am talking about are planning on doing assessment and giving me a bed tomorrow and I can see the doctor and they are kind of specialized in this? I don’t know. I am just at a loss. I started having tinnitus a few days ago, I am jumpy and scared and have the worst panic attacks and I don’t want to live with internal tremors forever..!

i am just so scared..

You need some earplugs ok, those will help. Try not to focus on the symptoms, change your mind. The more attention you give to those symptoms the more they dig in. This  causes more distress and you'll stress your nervous system. It's important to remember that our symptoms are feelings,  they respond and grow as we give them attention.  Kind if like a spoiled child crying for you constant attention. 

Breath, lots of belly breathing will help calm your inner trembling.  Mostly, try to change your mind and focus on something positive.  Practice gratitude and thankfulness even in the middle of symptoms. This really does help I promise you.

Your going to be ok, taje it a moment at a time and look to the future. When it's all over you'll look back and say, what was that back there, I'm better now than I ever was!

OK

Take care 

Ns

 

 

 

[[je...]]

5 hours ago, [[c...] said:

I am one week in this third cold turkey withdrawal, and I feel like I am gonna die. I can’t see myself going like this. This acute withdrawal caused by the interaction is the scariest thing ever.

The question now is: should I be put on a benzo now so I start a proper taper, or is it too late? It’s so complex as the side effect of the drug interaction is to send someone into acute.

There are no guarantees that a reinstatement will work. It also sounds like you might be dealing with kindling issues since you stated you were able to start and stop benzo's in the past without problems. Usually reinstating seem to be most successful if done within the first two weeks. If interested, I can provide you with a link that lists the pros and cons of reinstating?

I am really sorry you find yourself in such a difficult situation. I cannot begin to imagine how hard it must be. 

[[ca...]]

2 hours ago, [[n...] said:

You need some earplugs ok, those will help. Try not to focus on the symptoms, change your mind. The more attention you give to those symptoms the more they dig in. This  causes more distress and you'll stress your nervous system. It's important to remember that our symptoms are feelings,  they respond and grow as we give them attention.  Kind if like a spoiled child crying for you constant attention. 

Breath, lots of belly breathing will help calm your inner trembling.  Mostly, try to change your mind and focus on something positive.  Practice gratitude and thankfulness even in the middle of symptoms. This really does help I promise you.

Your going to be ok, taje it a moment at a time and look to the future. When it's all over you'll look back and say, what was that back there, I'm better now than I ever was!

OK

Take care 

Ns

So is it actually possible to recover fully even though I went CT and keep pushing through instead of reinstating and starting again?

does it get worse from here or am I actually at the very beginning of this nightmare? 🥴

Also, what is the opinion about propranolol here? Helping? Damaging?

thanks for your kind words.. 🤍

[[ca...]]

1 hour ago, [[j...] said:

There are no guarantees that a reinstatement will work. It also sounds like you might be dealing with kindling issues since you stated you were able to start and stop benzo's in the past without problems. Usually reinstating seem to be most successful if done within the first two weeks. If interested, I can provide you with a link that lists the pros and cons of reinstating?

I am really sorry you find yourself in such a difficult situation. I cannot begin to imagine how hard it must be. 

Hi 🤍🫶🏼

I would love to have the link!

There has indeed been a lot of 'kindling', but it was never an issue until I was given the metronidazole. How weird eh?

would you say then that if I am feeling ok on propranolol, I should maybe push through until this is all over instead of reinstating too late (1 month out of the beginning of this mess?)

thanks so much everyone for your time and your advices and tips etc. It’s much appreciated!

Cate xx

[[je...]]

Here's the link: 

 

39 minutes ago, [[c...] said:

would you say then that if I am feeling ok on propranolol, I should maybe push through until this is all over instead of reinstating too late (1 month out of the beginning of this mess?)

I really don't know what to suggest. It's so hard because I'm not in your shoes and I don't know whether your symptoms are manageable. I don't want to say yes and then later you regret not reinstating and I don't want to say no and then you reinstate and regret that. I think the best is to make an informed decision. The link I've provided has some very good information. 

[[ca...]]

11 hours ago, [[j...] said:

Here's the link: 

I really don't know what to suggest. It's so hard because I'm not in your shoes and I don't know whether your symptoms are manageable. I don't want to say yes and then later you regret not reinstating and I don't want to say no and then you reinstate and regret that. I think the best is to make an informed decision. The link I've provided has some very good information. 

I haven’t worked in a month. When I am on propranolol, I can walk and shower and warm something up in the microwave. I don’t know if the effects are gonna last though. I had slept 6 hours 2 nights ago, I was very pleased after not sleeping for a month, but only slept 2 hours last night and my CNS clearly doesn’t respond as well as yesterday to it..  It’s 'manageable' during the day but my akatesia is in my ENTIRE body, and I am buzzing from everywhere, all day. I know the panic attacks are gonna end at some point. Despite them being bad, I am more scared of having the akatesia and 'jumpy', not able to hear sound, blurry vision forever.. does it make sense?