3yr slow taper and 18.6 mo off and still sick

[[Pl...]]

Not sure about this format. Hope I’m doing this right. I was on K and before that A for 40 yrs before starting slow taper. I’m 73 and exhausted. I eat carefully and exercise too but still have brain shocks when I close my eyes, pulsing scalp, unsteady gait, memory problems, depression and anxiety, insomnia, extreme food and environmental sensitivities, motility and digestive issues. and sinus problems. My fingernails and nail beds hurt and have been practically falling off, and still are far from healed and look extremely bad. I broke my legs 2x within the 1st year of taper, had surgery and placed in LTC. 

I just need some hope at this point that I’ll feel better again. Thank you so much for listening and understanding.

me

[[je...]]

Hi @[Pl...]

I'm deeply sorry for all the pain you are in. Are you still on K or have you finished your taper?

[[je...]]

Oh, sorry I just read the topic and see you're off. My heart breaks for you. I know for many people it can take quite a while before they see improvement. For some there seems to be a turning point around the 2 year mark. Have you seen any symptoms improve or had windows or is there nothing at all?

[[Pl...]]

TY JB I have seen improvement but so symptomatic and alone it’s hard to see sometimes. I spent last 2 mo dealing with a painful esophagus when swallowing, and then a night of very unusual but real palpitations. I dbled my BP med, took extra dose of Magtein, and went to bed. The brain shocks were worse ever but I as determined to stay in bed and not panic as I discovered the DGL supplement I was taking backfired on me and I had a huge MCS reaction.

I’m needling cataract surgery now and trying to figure out how…. 🎶

I work on maintaining my center, my spiritual life is very important to me, but I’ve gotten pretty depressed in last few months and looking for hope.

🌷

[[je...]]

It's always a positive sign to have seen some improvement. I know it doesn't help when you are in a lot of pain and still dealing with an avalanche of symptoms. It sounds like you might also be experiencing a setback from the supplement and these can take a bit of time to resolve.

It's normal to feel depressed about our recovery. I had so much despondency and depression about my recovery while I was still tapering. It felt like it was a never-ending journey. I was seeing a therapist which helped me tremendously. Just talking about how I deeply grief the loss of my life as I knew it and the loss of time in benzo withdrawal and having someone affirm my feelings, helped me cope better. You have persevered through a very long taper and through 18 months of recovery. You are depressed, but it's clear you haven't given up yet. I want you to know your present is not your future.  

[[bw...]]

Hi there im sorry. I felt way worse at 2yrs off then I did only a week off benzos. You will get better. Sometimes it can take a long time.

 

Yrs 3 and 4 5. were great for me.

Just hang in there.

[[Pl...]]

TY JB and BW….  You’re right JB having someone to talk to would help. And yes I’m pretty low. I feel a big part of me has given up. TY for your support. Bottom line I’m so pissed off anymore.