Hypersesitive after small cut i got in hell

[[He...]]

 

I wonder if i am hypersensitive and will not be able to get off this demon valium tablets.Before that i tok 5mg about 7months
I have been taking about 1.875mg for 4 months tapered from 2,5mg in about 6 months.
I have been sick with strong anxiety fear jerky shaky and body pain rarly i can go out from my house to get food. I have been like this for about 6months so i think im in tolerance wd ?
Therefore i tried to do a supersmall cut  2 days ago. I take 2 pieces weighing 34grams in pill weight total 68gram per day have tried to do the math
and think it is 1,875mg of valium ?
I have read that it will take about 4 days before wd symtoms  shows up.

 In May i stopped cold turkey from 2,5mg because i did not know about wd and did not think i needed this pills anymore because i was in okay shape.I was fine 4 days then hell broke lose so i had to start up with 2,5mg again and used that about 1 month to get stable.

Well now only after 2 days and a super small cut from 68 gram to 66 gram a day i have severe wd.
I feels like every muscle fibre and cell in my body and gut is 100% tence .My lower arms are numb and shakes .I can not feel parts of my face .My jaw feel like its gone.My guts hurts like lots of metal butterflies.Severe tence in all muscles super pain in upper thights .Im freezing trembling like from inside out .My heart is going bananas and i have had 3 heart attacs before so it worries me to.I can list up many more horrible symtoms but stop here
I can not live with this it must be something wrong in my nervous system since it is reacting this hard from only a super small cut and only after 2 days ! what can i expect after 4 days??

I am starting to get in trouble because i dont have anyone to help me because i dont know anyone.I lost the ones i knowed including my mum  and my dog in some bad traumas happening over a short period about 1,5 years ago.That is why my doc started me on valium.
Before all this bad things started i liked to work out with weights and hike in the woods fishing trips riding my motorcycles .All that is stolen from me i can not work out even with light weights because my muscles and tendons gets extremly sore and inflamed for weeks   .I can barly go outside anymore because of anxiety and tension in body.
Im not myself anymore this demon pills has destroyed me only thing that keeps me going now is God and i pray and it helps.But now it feels like the devil has put his hand thru my chest and gripped around my spine trying to ripp my spine and soul out.

Should i reinstate today???     or updose??

i think i will never be able to quit  with this pills im just to weak so im thinking of just dose up and use them rest of my life that is better than suffer like this.Im 56 now and i dont want to  live totally handicapped for years  trying to quit hoping to be okay.Why can i not just use them rest of my life? i felt fine when i used them the months before i tried to quit and taper.
 

 

 

[[ns...]]

On 01/02/2024 at 07:25, [[H...] said:

I wonder if i am hypersensitive and will not be able to get off this demon valium tablets.Before that i tok 5mg about 7months
I have been taking about 1.875mg for 4 months tapered from 2,5mg in about 6 months.
I have been sick with strong anxiety fear jerky shaky and body pain rarly i can go out from my house to get food. I have been like this for about 6months so i think im in tolerance wd ?
Therefore i tried to do a supersmall cut  2 days ago. I take 2 pieces weighing 34grams in pill weight total 68gram per day have tried to do the math
and think it is 1,875mg of valium ?
I have read that it will take about 4 days before wd symtoms  shows up.

 In May i stopped cold turkey from 2,5mg because i did not know about wd and did not think i needed this pills anymore because i was in okay shape.I was fine 4 days then hell broke lose so i had to start up with 2,5mg again and used that about 1 month to get stable.

Well now only after 2 days and a super small cut from 68 gram to 66 gram a day i have severe wd.
I feels like every muscle fibre and cell in my body and gut is 100% tence .My lower arms are numb and shakes .I can not feel parts of my face .My jaw feel like its gone.My guts hurts like lots of metal butterflies.Severe tence in all muscles super pain in upper thights .Im freezing trembling like from inside out .My heart is going bananas and i have had 3 heart attacs before so it worries me to.I can list up many more horrible symtoms but stop here
I can not live with this it must be something wrong in my nervous system since it is reacting this hard from only a super small cut and only after 2 days ! what can i expect after 4 days??

I am starting to get in trouble because i dont have anyone to help me because i dont know anyone.I lost the ones i knowed including my mum  and my dog in some bad traumas happening over a short period about 1,5 years ago.That is why my doc started me on valium.
Before all this bad things started i liked to work out with weights and hike in the woods fishing trips riding my motorcycles .All that is stolen from me i can not work out even with light weights because my muscles and tendons gets extremly sore and inflamed for weeks   .I can barly go outside anymore because of anxiety and tension in body.
Im not myself anymore this demon pills has destroyed me only thing that keeps me going now is God and i pray and it helps.But now it feels like the devil has put his hand thru my chest and gripped around my spine trying to ripp my spine and soul out.

Should i reinstate today???     or updose??

i think i will never be able to quit  with this pills im just to weak so im thinking of just dose up and use them rest of my life that is better than suffer like this.Im 56 now and i dont want to  live totally handicapped for years  trying to quit hoping to be okay.Why can i not just use them rest of my life? i felt fine when i used them the months before i tried to quit and taper.
 

Helpless, hi, I'm so sorry for what your experiencing. Sounds a lot like me and many others in withdrawal. As far as the symptoms you described, I have most of these symptoms. Your previous heart attacks though I have some concerns. It might be good to go get checked for reassurance. Yes our symptoms so can make us go onto tachycardia or palpitations but given your history maybe it would be good to just get some reassurance to make you feel better. I know i go when I'm not sure about a symptom and I get reassurance that I'm fine then I can relax.  Given that though, dont go too often unless you think its necessary. 

When I get symptoms which I'm having now, I distract myself,  breathing slowly in my nose out my mouth. I keep my hands and mind busy. Try not to focus on my symptoms.  I change my mind, and turn my focus to something else. 

When we focus on our symptoms we get hypersensitivity to them, they dig in the more we let them continue. So it's important to do whatever you can not to focus on them. When we focus and get really sensitive to the symptoms it causes stress, thus causes our nervous system to  go into overdrive causing neurological type symptoms. So you can see how the cycle continues and continues. 

If you can watch YouTube,  I watch Emma with Therapy in a nutshell,  she has all kinds of tips on how to change your focus, breathing, anxiety symptoms and how to get thru this.  If your hearing is bad you can use the cc option so u can read the message.

Please try to calm yourself as much as possible,  panic attacks and  anxiety are something most of us experience in withdrawal and they can become quite intense. 

I hope you find comfort In these tips, and I hope they help you 

Take care

Ns

[[Bu...]]

Hi @[He...],

I am so sorry things are so bad right now.  I know withdrawal is a nightmare.  I was thinking that maybe you should put a post on the Taper tab, as more folks with experience in tapering might see this and weigh in.  I'm sorry I don't have any answers for you regarding what to do, but I just wanted to let you know you're not alone in this. 

[[He...]]

 

Thank you ladies and gents !for your kind reply and advice.I am so glad i found this forum . I have good news because today i have been incredible calm and feeling very strong.I have been in several stores doing some shopping and even a little trip up to my favorite place in the forest walking a little in the sun !! have not felt this good for a looong time.It was like all my fear is gone and felt totally relaxed and boosted with high self confidence.Im so thankful that i could have a calm day.

Tonight i felt that my heart started to tickle and vibrate like it stopped ,but i did not get scared at all.Strangely enough i usually don't get scared from symptoms from my heart.I was thinking that  if i will die now then let it be.

I did get follow up on hospital from  heart specialist  doctor for some time after my heart attacks ,but since i canceled 2 appointments because i had to much anxiety to go there I was told that since i cancel i could not come there anymore .

I had first attack in 2014  then 2 after that so have 4 stents now.I have heart problems because of inherited high cholesterol  in family.My father died on his 3 attack when  he was 60.I like to be in shape and work out so the attacks comes from that high cholesterol.I try to eat healthy and take some medications to keep the cholesterol down and it is a statin medicine called crestor. It has bad side effects and is a very bad medication.
I tried 9 or 10 different types of statins before i found one that did not impact me with muscle and joint pain, but now i suspect that the statin is crashing with the benzo making me hypersensitive to taper.I saw a video on you-tube from a respected American doctor some years ago .He says the worst medication to humans is statin and it should be avoided totally.He says eating 1 red apple each day will lower the cholesterol .He also sadly said that if you have inherited high cholesterol like i have you have no option and just have to take statins.One thing i noticed after starting on benzo is that i have a strong crave for sugar and chocolate so i started eating a lot of that not smart ,but it makes me feel better.

I had one trauma last time i was at an heart angiography check the surgeon messed up and almost killed me or should i say he did for a while ? ,but that is a long scary story

I also use a beta-blocker called zelo zok propranolol 50mg to keep heart go steady also take insulin maybe that is crashing with benzo.?

When i work out i don't need insulin ,but after i started on vival (that is the same benzo as valium) i can not work out anymore because i get inflamed in tendons and super sore muscles just from light workout
Also my CNS gets overloaded from training setting me up in a nervous fight or flight fear anxiety state after the work out.Before the benzo hell i always felt calm an relaxed after some workout.

Now just hope i will keep feeling good ,but it is day 4 i think since the super small reduction so hope it will not turn into a nightmare again Like it did in May after 4 days when i CT from 2,5mg