13 months of and lack of courage .

[[ma...]]

13 months off and still morning dispair and extreme anxiety . Feel it has been worse for a while. I am 69 so i feel this is what i have ended up with for good .Have really fatique too .I got a lot of symtoms during last year . Hairloss , almost asthma , very allergic , strong body pain , diarrea and upset stomack, weightgain and periodically depression . I have my cat and house .I do my housework ok . But struggle to manage it sometimes .I feel so uncertain and unsafe . Am i doomed ?

[[sh...]]

Your not doomed. It certainly gets better with time. It doesn't feel like it when your in the thick of it but honestly 13 months is not that far out for so many people. I've seen people over the years recover -everyone does and you will too

 

Shania

[[Ho...]]

On 01/02/2024 at 05:20, [[m...] said:

13 months off and still morning dispair and extreme anxiety . Feel it has been worse for a while. I am 69 so i feel this is what i have ended up with for good .Have really fatique too .I got a lot of symtoms during last year . Hairloss , almost asthma , very allergic , strong body pain , diarrea and upset stomack, weightgain and periodically depression . I have my cat and house .I do my housework ok . But struggle to manage it sometimes .I feel so uncertain and unsafe . Am i doomed ?

When you are alone everything magnifies! Glad you have a cat; everyone needs some company. No, you're not doomed. I'ma little older than you and 16 months post-jumping. It's still unpleasant most days but I have some days when things are not too bad. I was hoping to be better by now too, but am looking at the two-year mark now. Although secretly hoping for much sooner!

One thing that helps me a lot. I get in my head a lot, meaning I ponder and ruminate and try to solve things without any additional information. I've learned that I can put my mind in neutral, although it's work. But I can do it, and it's worth the effort because while my mind is in neutral (not thinking deeply about anything) and I'm just keeping mildly busy the time passes not unpleasantly. It means continuously battling the tendency to ruminate, but it gives you some relief from the fear and anxiety. Some day I hope to be able to live in neutral!

You're not irreparably broken. You'll be yourself again. It takes so much longer than we think or expect. Hang in there!

 

Warmly,

HCHC

[[Ri...]]

When people taper successfully off a benzodiazepines, and still experience anxiety symptom’s along with some physical symptoms; is this just the anxiety returning in most cases. I’m a bit oblivious to this post withdrawal phenomenon. Thnx!

oh, and welcome Margi..

[[ma...]]

Thank you , all of you . I shall try that neutral thinking part . And push myself a little also . Breath and calm down  .Its only my head that is in disorder . 
 

[[Pa...]]

@[ma...], I believe you can recover, but with us old folks it takes a little longer.  I think about how long it takes for a bruise to go away now, but never mind that, how easy it is to get one!  Our recovery from benzodiazepines is much the same, it just takes longer but we eventually get there.

I’m happy to hear you have your home to care for, when I was recovering my house was cleaner than its ever been.  Since I couldn’t sit still I stayed in motion and that motion translated to housework and projects, anything to make the time pass and distract my thoughts. 

Please don’t give up on your miracle, because thats what it feels like when we recover, when we can finally know we’ve made it through.

[[ma...]]

Thank you Pamster for your good words . Yes cleaning and house projects is my self care and hobby these days . I live in the countryside , so i feed and get daily visists from some deers too  . And my cat is here also . ( Margit )

🌟🌺

[[Pa...]]

Good for you @[ma...], I found nature to be so calming.  The first time I was well enough to go to my cabin, I cried when I got out of my car, the pine fragrance almost brought me to my knees I was so grateful to be there.  And those forest critters, those sweet deer were just what I needed to see.  I have a salt lick they gather around and while they were enjoying the salt, I was taking comfort in their presence.  

Keep up the good thoughts, I know its tough to stay positive but believing in your recovery is important. 

[[ma...]]

I am so grateful for those words . Yes i like to live here with the woods around . I must now feed the deers twice a day because its so cold and a lot of snow . Its cosy , but it can be quite expensive for me . Yes i should wish i could trust in recovery . At least that i get better so its more manageful . That the symptoms ease a bit .I wish and hope that . 🕯

[[ma...]]

The menthal is worst these days .Some psycical symptoms are better pr now . I get so tired . 

[[ma...]]

Can the symptoms ease up soon ?I got worse months 9.  

[Guest [...]]

Hi @[ma...]

It’s quite common for symptom waves to increase when you think they should be abating, but this has nothing to do with your healing going backwards. It’s just the unpredictable nature of the healing process. It’s a good sign that some of your physical symptoms have eased, and in time, the mental ones will ease as well. Your brain is healing all the time. 🫂

[[ma...]]

Hi winters sun .

Thank you ❤️I just hope the mental ones dont increase even more . Can they ?

 

[[ma...]]

Can symtoms increase after 13 1/2 months ?

[[Re...]]

@[ma...] Why would they. You are past your acute phase, actually you have a lot of healing behind you.

I know people say and experience that symptoms may wax and wane. They change, and that is true, but within a range. Some of our symptoms, both physical and mental may flare up, temporarily, but they go back to baseline. I am experiencing this right now, they may be stronger for a while, but I honestly believe they will calm down. 

If you read the success stories, it is an upwards process. It is slow, but upwards. People, of all ages actually get through this and continue with their lives, these forums would be otherwise completely full of unhealed people. And they are not, so they must have gotten better. 

Hang in there, @[ma...], you are doing a very difficult job but you are great at it, really❤️🙂

Edited February 11 by [Re...]

[[kn...]]

I'm not off this stuff by any means yet.  Down to 4mgs diazepam after having started at 60.  Anxiety has been with me since childhood and I'm about half way through 72 right now.  Mindfulness and meditation have helped me greatly.  I started in my 40's and have been working on it ever since.  I taught myself originally by way of some cassette tapes I ordered in the mail.  I've even hung onto an old "boom box" so I can still listen to them.  Today there are jillions of on line sites that have wonderful tracts, complete  with music play lists.  Many offer guided meditations that can be wonderful for getting started or any time you need some help in getting "out of your mind" and into a better mental state.  I seriously doubt if my mental health problems will disappear even when I'm through with my taper.  All the best to you.  I admire your tenacity and courage for having finished your taper.   

[[ma...]]

Its so nice to get answer from you and encouragements . That comfort and helps a lot . How are you managing your days now ?And how far out are you ?🌟

[[ma...]]

And you Knackered , just go very very slow on your taper . Hope the best and that your days are ok manageable .We dont need to be optimal to have a good life . We take care of our self as best as we can 🌺🌟

[[ne...]]

I am 13 months off with a lot of symptoms still. You are not alone! <3 

[[Re...]]

@[ma...] I am a bit more than 8 months,and lately, just like you, I experienced flare up of symptoms. 

[[ma...]]

Yes . And in addition to that i read so

much news yesterday from a lot of channels including youtube videos . I could not stop . It has been a habit taking the phone and watch news . Yesterday it was so disturbing , i got so frustrated so i had a terrible night without sleep . As my brain over worked . I could almost feel it physically in my head . I hope i can get initiativ to find something more good to do or think of . I am shameful for having so little self disipline . And lack of creativety . Sorry for beeing so troublesome and bringing negative wibes . Is this normal ? Hope you have some peace and good moments

[[Re...]]

I think it is more than natural, @[ma...]. We seek for proof and information on this, because doctors/others don't really have that, moreover we often end up with another stamp of unjust diagnosis.

We need reassurance that it is not in our head. 

Believe me, anyone ending up with a lessen known /unknown syndrome that impacts our lives so deeply and has no therapy would do the same. Would seek very actively for information, just like us. 

The other side of this, is the process of withdrawal itself creates unease, restlessness and feeling stuck. I think that is the other part of it. And we catastrophize that we won't get better. 

If there is something you enjoy and can do, give it a go, why not? I am quite guilty of being online too much as well. 

I am myself thinking about putting the phone away sometimes, or do something that has absolutely nothing to do with withdrawal. I am often full. And this makes me feel better. There might be a healthier balance to these things... 

 

Edited February 12 by [Re...]

[[ma...]]

Lets at least try . A movie we like , anything. Shake off the withdrawel claw for a little while . Fresh air , water and a good breath

[[Pa...]]

2 hours ago, [[m...] said:

And in addition to that i read so

much news yesterday from a lot of channels including youtube videos . I could not stop . It has been a habit taking the phone and watch news .

You and me both @[ma...], I need to STOP reading the news, its messing with my quality of life.  While it doesn't have the same affect on me it does you, its still a downer.  I'm going to seriously curtail my news consumption and I have you to thank for helping me see how destructive it is for me. 

[Guest [...]]

Hi @[ma...]

just a tip… 

So members you are replying to know your post is for them, simply type @ then the first 1 or 2 letters of their name and a drop down list of names will appear. Tap on the username of the person to whom you are directing your post/reply. This way they’ll receive a notification and know to come back to the thread.

Alternatively, you could simply tap ‘Quote’ at the bottom of the post to which you wish to reply and then write your reply under the quoted content in the message field. The member you are replying to will also get a notification to return to the thread this way. 

Sometimes I don’t return to threads unless I’ve been tagged in one of those ways, and I imagine other members contributing to your thread may be the same. Unless we receive a notification, we have no idea you’ve responded to us. 👍